IvyGate doesn't usually cover individual student theater productions. This is mostly because we aim to report things you want to read. But when a tipster told us Yale was running a Batman musical, we were intrigued. A musical based on "The Dark Knight," set to U2 and various 80s power ballads? We couldn't resist.

"Darq Knight: The Musical" was written by Marshall Pailet and James Pollack, '09, with help from Tessa Williams, '10, and Emma Barash, '11. It ran Thursday through Saturday at the Off Broadway Theater (I'm guessing this is a Yale student venue). In an email, Pollack said the show's premise is a hypothetical collaboration between Chrisopher Nolan and Bono.

The tipster describes the plot:

The overarching plot was the same as the real Dark Knight movie set to 80s music. Of course there were many flourishes such as the characters were Maggie Gyllenhaal and Katie Holmes instead of a Rachel (And Katie was dating Lord Xenu). Alfred was sexually attracted to Bruce/Batman, Bruce was a 6’7” skinny white guy, and batman was a much shorter African American guy. The three had a moment singing “With or Without You” together. And Morgan Freeman narrated the entire thing.

I hope you all understand how awesome this show must have been. After the jump, more pictures and the playbill.

Photos (above and after jump) are by Charlie Croom, '12.

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This morning, at 12:01, The Dark Knight, which is a movie about the detective Batman, came out in theaters. I waited in line starting at 9 o'clock to watch it with lots of people who were way weirder than me. Some of them had painted their faces to look like clowns, and they were talking very loudly. The movie was playing on like thirty screens at Lincoln Center in New York, and you got to go inside based on what theater you were assigned to. One of my friends is an idiot and bought a ticket to a different theater than us, so I had to wait outside while she gave someone a blowjob to trade tickets so we could all sit together.

At the theater, all these kids from Columbia University high school summer camp or something ran into the auditorium and their counselors yelled about the greatness of Columbia summer camp. I think the campers don't understand how stupid it is to do the high school Columbia summer camp. The NYU summer campers are much better dressed and, hey, maybe you could even get into NYU.

When we were all sitting in our seats, the person in the seat in front of me was watching "Batman 1" on DVD and it was so funny to be watching a DVD on a computer in a movie theater. I thought he was wearing a Dartmouth hat, so I yelled, "Hey, did you go to Dartmouth?" and I think I've never felt like a bigger douchebag, ever, especially when he said, "Naw, dog, it's a Dallas Cowboys hat." I really love the Cowboys, so we could have been friends, but no, he thinks I went to Dartmouth.

The seriously good part of the night was when I watched Batman the real movie and I was crying blood because it was so crazy and awesome. There's this part where the Joker kills this guy, Hong Kong style, so hard. Then, Batman makes his truck flip over when he's riding his motorcycle. Then, he's got to save Gotham before it's too late, but everyone is corrupt and evil is the way of the world, so will he stop the Joker in time? There's no love only fear and anger so the movie is never boring. You might have a headache when it is over because you have to be upset for a whole movie but the point of art is to make you very upset. I think Heath Ledger should have won an Oscar for this movie, so he wouldn't have to kill himself.

Batman 2 is better than the ride Batman and Robin at Six Flags because the lines are the same length, but the movie is a lot longer than the ride and a lot more people die.