Harvard Expansion Unearthing Rats “Big Enough to Put Saddles On,” Allston Residents Not Glad

by Adam Clark Estes | April 28, 2009 at 1:08 am

allston-ratHarvard's multi-bajillion dollar expansion into Allston, already only crawling forward, now faces a new obstacle: rats. According to an article in today's Boston Herald, the deep digging required for Harvard's TNMT-style underground lairs has stirred a colony of mutant rodents that EATS THROUGH HOMES! (That's working-class homes, btw.)

Rats "big enough to put saddles on" are running amok in Allston and Brighton, leaping from trash bins, chewing their way into homes and terrifying residents who blame Harvard's own "Big Dig" for unleashing the vermin.

"They pop out of the trash. A couple of weeks ago one ran right across my hand. It's nasty," said Gerry Gentilucci, 43, an MBTA equipment operator who lives on Myrick Street in North Allston.

Harvard is clearly denying having unleashed a herd of house-munchers. There's no way a 530,000 square-foot area dug 40 feet deep might upset some underground life form. After all, they set up "rat monitoring stations." Because monitoring something (like say a volcano) actually prevents it from doing something unpleasant. Sarcasm aside, this sounds less like a complaint from Harvard's neighbors across the river and more like an impending battle of the species.

A minute ago, the Cantabridgians thought that giant spray-painted banners on abandoned buildings in Allston were threatening. Wait 'til those yellow-toothed rat-steeds come rumbling across Anderson bridge looking for the Faustian figure who signed the deal and p0ured the green sludge on Splinter's family.

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