“I am honored to have been selected as the next leader of this remarkable institution,” Garrett said in a statement released by the University. “Cornell is one of the world’s truly great universities, with a stellar commitment to excellence in teaching, research, scholarship and creative activity, linked with a deep commitment to public engagement. I am excited to join the Cornell community and to work with the faculty, staff, students and alumni to chart the next chapter in its illustrious history.”
Police in Ithaca are stumped as town residents are being shot by paintballs from a moving vehicle.
According to two press releases issued by the Cornell police, several students were hit in paintball attacks between September 4 and 12. “Over the past week Cornell Police have received several reports of students being targeted with a paintball gun discharged from a moving vehicle. In all cases, students reported seeing a black or dark-colored sedan drive by them as they were struck by a paintball.” None have sustained any serious injuries.
To make this situation sound even more like the plot of a B movie, no one knows what the shooter looks like. According to Cornell police, “[t]here is no further description of the vehicle or any of its occupants.”
Police have yet to announce if the ongoing investigation has yielded any results. In the meantime, Cornell students should take precaution in case of a paintball attack by wearing thick clothing and carrying large umbrellas.
Judging from the lack of coverage and online discussion, Cornell seems oddly okay with this turn of events. A Cornell Sun article about the drive-by shootings barely goes into more detail than the initial police alerts, and tweets from students poke fun at the incidents.
The fact that a serial paintball shooter appears to be the most wanted man in Ithaca says something about the level of crime in the region. So even if other Ivies might make fun of Cornell for its rustic sensibilities, at least Ithaca has crime statistics that would make Yale jealous.
(Full disclosure: Alexandra Avvocato is Bwog’s former managing editor.)
Yesterday evening, Bwog’s Features Editor Alexander Pines, Columbia ’16, announced his resignation from the board of Columbia’s primary news blog. His decision immediately followed Bwog’s coverage of a protest held on campus by Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP). In the 24-hour period after the publication of this post, the actions taken by Bwog’s board in response to a student’s safety concerns prompted Pines to immediately step down from the organization.
In an interview with IvyGate, Pines, formerly one of the four head editors on Bwog, narrated the events that led to his resignation on Friday morning. Regardless of which party is most at fault here, the internal problems of Bwog’s board have, at least on one occasion, affected its day-to-day operations and editorial consistency. (Although, to be fair, this is a blog that never took itself too seriously.)
Proving that graduate school has more value as performance art than career advancement, part-time actor James Franco is back at Yale to continue his Ph.D studies in English Literature. According to his favorite publication, the Rhodes Scholar has been dropping by various sections of Major English Poets, a lovingly hated, required undergraduate course for English majors. A nine-time Oscar nominee, Franco has been known to draw on the works of Chaucer and Spenser as inspiration for such engrossing roles as “James Franco“ in This Is the End and “James Franco“ in Creepy Instagram Nudes.
We are breathlessly awaiting to see the Presenting: the Democratic Nominee for Presidential Candidate 2016, James Franco! ’s live-action sci-fi adaptation of The Faerie Queene.
(Ed. Note: If you have blurry pictures of Marina-Abramovic’s stunt double, James Franco, walking around New Haven, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org)
Take a trip down memory lane to four years ago, when men were real, the brotherhood was real, and fraternities at Yale were raw:
In October 2010, Delta Kappa Epsilon pledges stood on Old Campus, shouted obscenities about co-eds and took the meaning of consent for a spin. For some unknown reason, the Yale Daily News report on this event has reappeared on the front page of its website–it appeared first under the Most Popular heading yesterday (it’s still there today, trailing after some articles from the Opinion section).
Hello Princeton freshpeople, hope you’ve been adjusting well. As you try to poach upperclassmen to get a guest pass inside an eating club, here’s what you’re missing when it’s not open to the (kind of) public:
As the school year starts up and our vacation is over, we’re gearing back up for yet another year of college. But every archetypal old guy still living in the frat house needs new recruits to initiate, and that’s where we’re looking at you, kid.
We’re looking for smart writers and editors to join the crew and embarrass celebrate their classmates and professors. You don’t need a crammed resume and scores of serious clips, you just need enthusiasm and willingness to dig into the lives of those across these eight unsightly campuses. IvyGate is an open group of nosy quacks, and you will have the opportunity to experiment with ‘journalism’ and pissing people off. We offer test drives and guidance for all levels of experience. You’ll also have the opportunity to interact with the IvyGate alums who have somehow emerged successful from these storied halls.
If you are interested in writing, editing, photographing, and/or socializing online or IRL, hit us up at email@example.com. If you’re not interested in any of that but have a story you think we’d like, embed this in your brain: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Happy first ~week of school. Don’t lose those fucking syllabi.
Thanks to an anonymous tipster, here’s a video seemingly from last year’s Titanic theme party at Ivy, the Princeton eating club. One of their many theme parties throughout the year, this one involves a chosen Jack and Rose, seen being Jack and Rose here. Seniors dress up as first-class passengers, juniors as second-class, and newly minted Ivy sophomores as third-class passengers. Because if there’s anything Princeton loves, it’s clearly defined class statuses.
The administrative heroes over at Columbia decided that the best way to solve the university’s major sexual assault crisis and amend for their general mishandling of assault cases is to cancel a school-wide concert. Most publicly-reacting students have recognized this as yet another misguided move, and likely part of the school’s continuing War on Fun. The concert was supposed to be held this fall and artists were already secured; now the school has to pay the unnamed artists $55,000 for nothing.
IvyGate has been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, Boston Globe, New York Observer, Newsweek, New Yorker, and other publications, as well as NBC, MSNBC, Fox News, Drudge Report, Gawker, The Huffington Post, Wonkette, Jezebel, The Awl, and many more. Most are horrified.