Drinking on Facebook 101
In our continuing coverage of the Class of 2011's alcohol-fueled escapades - (don't worry Antonio; you're in good company), we bring you an entire genre of weirdness: the 2011 facebook party groups.
Across the Ivy League, these remarkably similar groups of self-proclaimed alcoholics are proliferating. They feature a whole lot of back-and-forth about what kinds of parties to throw, what kind of drinks are totally bomb, and how to obtain fake ID's - or, as Penn kids prefer to call them, "counterfeit documents."
Many of these children seem like douchebags; others are just clueless. But watching them interact is utterly fascinating. They are learning, people. And that's what college is all about. Though we do wish they'd take some time out of Drinking 101 and learn to spell.
After the jump: Why the Class of 2011 is the Best Class Yet
If the wall postings of "Screw the U - Columbia '11 works hard but parties harder!!" are any indication, '11 may prove the lamest class in Columbia's history. Eschewing beer for Smirnoff Ice, vodka for Smirnoff Ice, whiskey for Smirnoff Ice, and more generally, fun for Smirnoff Ice, these intrepid even-day warriors definitely know how to get the party started. Sometimes - and this is when they're being a wee bit crazy - we hear they drink Mike's Hard!
Some Columbia responses to a "favorite drink" query:
Smirnoff Ice or Chocolate Martini. Yes, I know those are chick drinks, but I don't care. They're delicious.
smirnoff ice is really good, but if I drink them too fast the carbonation in them really gets me.
Yuck, I simply detest beer!
This group also features weird foreigners who drink weird foreign things and are magnanimously willing to teach their weird foreign ways to silly and backward Americans:
all the girls in my class absolutely hate beer... apparently they find it disgusting to drink cos it's got a pretty strong taste... I'm willing to teach u the art of beer drinking tough, ;)
Yea, none of r girls likes beer either.... they say it tastes like shit, but I dunno, I guess here in Ger u just get indoctrinated into liking beer, haha... and also it's the "official" drink of the Oktoberfest
A good mojito is actually very complicated to make because of the ingredients involved, and the mint leaves in particular... However, I do hear that they make the BEST mojito's at the bar of the Intercontinental Hotel, which we should definetely try, if we can get in...
And where would we be without the one-time-at-band-camp entry?
I love Vodka Redbull. One time though, when I was out with my bf in Canada and I was feeling really tired, I ordered one in hopes of getting a surge of energy, and I never did! Haha. I was sadddd.
Continuing in the "work hard / party hard" vein (will this phrase ever go away? Every time it's uttered we swear another angel loses its wings) members of Penn's 2011 party group, the onomatopoeic "Penn Partiers," think they're pretty awesome:
"Welcome to the "Social Ivy," where kids work hard, get good grades, move ahead in life, but do not fail to have fun in their spare time. We got this far because we know how to balance life. If you're in this group, you pledge to let others know when and where the party's going down...because thats just plain humanitarianism. If you don't like to party...then...well...I don't really know what you are doing here.
Penn's Class of 2011 is in fact so smart and so tool-ish that they have devised a code that we are still struggling to decipher:
something has been brought to my attention0: the necessity for all of us to acquire... counterfeit documents? can't think of a code for this. you guys know what i mean, documents that will allow us to get the apple juice.
YEAH counterfeit documents!! i need one sooooo bad!!!
haha don't make fun of counterfeit documents, i tried ok! i came up with apple juice and pixie sticks, that has caught on pretty well haha
duuuude, you so didn't make up apple juice... i'll give you pixie sticks, that's a good one, but apple juice has been around for a LOOOONG time... we gotta think of something better than "counterfeit documents" though...
We definitely need a wholllle lotta apple juice for the first week to get everyone acclamated. Nothing better for meeting new people than...apple juice. ;)
all i have to say is it's nice to have a "friend" in the florida dmv... conterfeit docs are widely available
Of course, not all '11ers are so circumspect when it comes to describing their preferred means of inebriation. Princeton students - Antonio Villaraigosa's Jr. fellow travelers - could give a shit what the world thinks of them:
Just returned from the graduation party. Hooked up with some I'd never met before, drank half a forty of vodka (albeit raspberry flavored), some beers, had a Romeo and Juliet, and generally had a good time. Had beer poured on me as well.
basically my parents dont even know i exist bc i am out so much.
Wooow...you better cool down there brother...you're messing with the Tigers here...don't make us go all the way to California to kick your un-ivy league ass.
Of course, at its best, Harvard can even out-douche Princeton. Here's from a Harvard girl who just had to post on the Princeton wall:
Harvard is widely recognized as top dog. While I don't hold anything personal against any of you, it's fun to acknowledge the reality that Harvard parties dominate any of your "get togethers." Now...since it's a Saturday night, go drink your martinis and eat your caviar while I go to an actual party. = )
However, her fellow students, even members of the "I'm goin to harvard but I'm still tryin to party like a rockstar!" group, aren't quite so enthusiastic. They are instead plagued by an endearingly nerdy self-doubt:
so im going there in the fall, but word on the street is that harvard has lame parties. please, in the name of all that is good and sacred, let that not be the truth.
baaahah. seriously, i'm happy that this group exists, but uh... i'm the 11th member... things are lookin kinda grim.
Dartmouth freshmen - whom we had assumed to be alcoholics in utero- are surprisingly clueless. Some seem to believe that you actually need to be 21 to buy booze:
anyone know if there are any parties during orientation? i mean, it might be a stretch since none of the of-age students will be there yet to get the stuff, but it would be a great way to meet people. not to mention just awesome in general ;)
They are also real downers:
if you get caught before you matriculate, you are fucked. but im sure we'll be able to find something to do...
Meanwhile, Cornell's glorious Class of 2011 is plagued by the age-old question: "What makes a party fun?" Apparently, alcohol can do the trick:
welllll, theres a lot of things. I have been to parties that are clean and fun and "unclean" and fun. But to be honest, i think "unclean" parties are better. Alcohol can make most things better.
Of course, it's always good to have some sluts around:
Booty dancing music...i don't know about the rest of you...but I like my booty jams when I'm in my half drunken state and wanna act slutty and show my moves on some random person's crotch. FREE DRINKS..preferably a bartender who can mix shit that tastes good. If a party only has beer, that's low-class. Seriously, this chick needs to have some good tasting shots and some nice cocktails. Cigs for those who wanna smoke when they're drunk..or for those who wanna smoke just to look cool. Did I mention ME?
Welcome to college, children. There's just so much learning left to do!
--JACOB SAVAGE
111 Comments | 
Digg This | 
Share on Facebook | 
Print This Post | 
Email This Post
Read more: Class of 2011, Drinking, guest editors, Ivy League
Email – 
Search
About
Report a bug
Archives
RSS Feed
July 11th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Apparently the Yale, Brown, and Dartmouth ‘11ers just aren’t keeping up with the rest of the future Ivy League. Where are their exploits? This post does have a eerie similarity to that “8th graders need to back of 9th grade guys” fiasco/free-for-all from way back in the spring. It’d be really funny if someone infiltrated those groups and put those pre-frosh in their place.
July 11th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Apparently the Yale, Brown, and Dartmouth ‘11ers just aren’t keeping up with the rest of the future Ivy League. Where are their exploits? This post does have a eerie similarity to that “8th graders need to back off 9th grade guys” fiasco/free-for-all from way back in the spring. It’d be really funny if someone infiltrated those groups and put those pre-frosh in their place.
July 11th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
i have doubts that penn partiers is onomatopoeic. i believe it’s alliterative.
July 11th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Can you actually get drunk off of Smirnoff Ice? I’ve had like four of them at a party and felt nothing. They’re like Sprite.
What has been done though, is drinking some of a bottle and then filling it back up to the top with real Smirnoff.
July 11th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
To its credit, the Yale ‘Party People of 2011′ group has no wall, no foolish exploits. Not yet, at least.
http://yale.facebook.com/group.php?gid=3229260225
July 11th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
although not one of the revered ivy league, Stanford is quick to join the drinking party on Facebook. See their exploits here, foolish or otherwise.
http://stanford.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2418760839
July 11th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
i guess you missed the fake ID discussion that dominated the actual brown ‘11 group for 3 or 4 days.
July 11th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I like the Yale group’s mission statement:
“A way to let all 2011 yalies kno wats goin down evry nite… when? where? da details…”
For the record, well-educated young people who can spell and have good grammar were rejected from this fine institution. Such is life.
July 11th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Maybe the ones not splashing their lameness about Facebook are the ones actually hanging out. Less talk — more action.
July 11th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
You’re all n00bs.
July 11th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
First, CU2010 is an idiot. Secondly, it should be mentioned that the only post pertaining to Dartmouth here, is accurate. Stinsons liquor store, pretty much the treasure trove of Dartmouth’s “supplies”, is like the Fort Knox. At least one Police Blotter entry a week describes some poor student who tried to buy beer the day before his/her 21st birthday, only to have Stinsons call in and swipe the ID through some machine–subsequently call H-Po. Also, you all really are noobs.
July 11th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Hey D’08, pretty sure it’s spelled “n00b”, you n00b.
July 11th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
I know you summer editors are bored by now, so I went ahead and tagged IvyGate on my significantly more boring blog. See Armchair Fiduciary for more details.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Well, it appears the Unofficial Stanford Blog has picked this story up.
http://blog.stanford.edu/unofficial/2007/07/the_stanford_party_crew_of_201.html
July 12th, 2007 at 5:41 am
Meh. Old news. Bwog made fun of us two, three weeks ago. Stop beating a dead horse already. Prefrosh will always be overly keen about everything uni-related because - get this - we’re excited. We’ll make asses of ourselves about it, whether it be via facebook groups or during frosh week (do you have that in the States, or is it only NSO, by the way?) or at the first frat party we manage to get to. It’s inevitable…and thus, there’s no need to continuously report on it. Really. :p
July 12th, 2007 at 9:07 am
As much as I picked on the Yale kids earlier, I will give them credit for being a little discerning in their party facebook group. You see, not just any ol’ incoming Eli can be an official “party person” of 2011. You have to be personally invited by their administrator. Genius. They haven’t even hit campus yet and the exclusivity begins.
July 12th, 2007 at 9:14 am
I remember when I was excited about moving to Cambridge and going to parties and whatnot…but I don’t remember having any giggly conversations (online or otherwise) about chick drinks and shitty malternatives. Call me a crotchety old alum, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t happen.
And these kids clearly do have a lot of learning to do. Pretty weak if you can’t drink some beer or do some shots…smirnoff ice is for middle schoolers.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:24 am
for not being full of idiots
July 12th, 2007 at 11:32 am
im so sorry CU2010. do you know why? because the “c” in your name can only stand for either columbia or cornell. if it stands for columbia- too bad you couldn’t get into HYP to which you undoubtedly applied. if it’s cornell, well frankly im surprised you can pull your hand away from the gun held to your head long enough to type.
July 12th, 2007 at 11:57 am
smirnoff ice=same alcoholic content by percentage as beer. i you drink as many ices as beers, you will be *gasp* EQUALLY DRUNK!
i didn’t think the posts could get any worse, but they did. you quoted verbatim legitimately funny facebook posts but YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT! where’s the fucking commentary?
the only comments you get are the douchey “OMG MY IVY TOTALLY PWNS URZ n00b!!!!1″.. you guys suck pretty bad.
PS… “Penn Partiers” is alliterative, not onomatopoeic… i don’t hear BOOM CRASH POW!!! PENN PARTIERS!!! very much. but at least you Princeton snobs spelled it right–style over substance, just like the rest of Priceton.
July 12th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
before some n00btard skewers me on this, i should qualify that beer’s alcohol percentage by volume varies anywhere from 3 to 10%, but by and large American beer has about 5% alcohol by volume. and smirnoff ice is 5% by volume too…
July 12th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
yale2011 - don’t stoop to their level :\
July 12th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
sam, their vitriolic comments and article have infuriated me. i should abstain from the school bashing, truthfully, but when mother yale is being sniped at by some troglodyte i cant help but fire back.
July 12th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
yale2011, you are a n00b. You’re so brazen and pompous that you’ve already reached unprecedented levels of Ivy League douchebaggery that would make even the regular editors blush. Yale never even crossed my mind when applying to college (probably because New Haven is a dirty crime infested city overrun by pretentious rich kids who drink themselves into oblivion every weekend, but I digress), but that’s ok, I’m sure when you start this fall and begin to actually experience college, you’ll probably fall into rank with the rest of them and cry home to your parents when you get written up by the campus police. You really should’ve listened to Sam J, but you had to feel all high and mighty like most pre-frosh do the months before entering college (trust me, I was there, enjoy it while you can) and start defending “mother yale” like you would your sister’s honor. Don’t go crying when your pristine 4.0 GPA beginst to slowly fade into the reaches of 3.7.
Also, if you’re going to try and wow the posters here by dropping as many SAT words as you can (dude, NOBODY I know uses “troglodyte” in any way of speech, not even people from Yale), at least make it look nice with capital letters in your sentences. What, is the shift key on your computer broken?
Dude if you don’t get your act in line before you have the privilege of putting your feet down on an Ivy League campus, you will seriously get burned.
July 12th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Yale2011: I will give you this much–to have gotten into Yale, you are likely more accomplished than I was by age 18. You see, I wasted my high school years doing things like making friends, dating, going to parties, etc. And I went to Cornell. Then Penn. (Poor me.) But before you go too crazy looking down your nose at Cornell, pause for a moment to remember that the subject of this discussion is partying. So while you may have gone to the best Ivy (or the hardest to get into, in any case), you are absolutely not qualified to chime in here. Yuo are not going to see a good party until 2015–if ever. Have fun in the library!
July 12th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
hey man, youre the one who attacked my school. in retrospect, i probably shouldn’t have made it personal, my apologies for that.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
ps for clarification, im not in the class of 2011, i thought it was a topic name, not an identifier. i stuck with it for clarity but im actually an alum.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
As an actual Yale student, Yale 2011 does not speak for me. p.s. pretentious kids don’t have to be rich. Yale’s expanding its financial aid to include pretentious poor kids like me
July 12th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Completely agree with GoBigRed. Yale parties suck and Cornell rules. We can throw down harder than any of the Elis any day of the week. And yale2011, since you’re an alum, shouldn’t you have abandoned that whole “haha, you didn’t get into MY school” attitude a long time ago? You really are a n00b.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Yale2011–not sure the fact that you’re an alum makes it better. It’s a lot easier to forgive a kid just out of high school for acting like an ass.
July 12th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
How are you you coping with the streets of West Philly after spending time in Heaven on Earth?
July 12th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
most of you ivy leaguers are fucked - one of the downsides of being smart is you’re socially awkward and have no balls.
oh, and columbia doesn’t have crazy parties ’cause all of the normal kids just do shit in the city, or do drugs, to take their minds off the crap the freshmen say. and when we choose to have parties, we wreak havoc and destroy our own brownstones - holes/writing on all the walls, controlled fires, all the niceness.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Wait, do real people actually say ‘HYP’? I thought only n00bs said that. That acronym perturbs me. ‘HYP’ is like getting your education from a McDonald’s drive-thru.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
P.S. I’ve enjoyed this site since the beginning, but it’s really starting to suck. The guest editors blow, and the real editors are getting annoying, too.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
got a little incoherent at the end there, bud. and as for the plight of ivy leaguers…actually just stop talking.
July 12th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
I agree with ‘huh.’ These posts are becoming unnecessarily bitter. While I find the entering freshmen’s antics somewhat amusing, it’s nothing new. It was the same for last year’s entering freshmen and it will be for next year’s as well.
July 12th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I mean blogs, not posts.
July 12th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
I thought the article was funny. Yay alcohol and subtext.
July 12th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
When these kids get their stomachs pumped I will never stop laughing.
July 12th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
i love this website. your writing allows me to step back and gain a new perspective on my facebook ventures. thank you for reminding me to not be a d-bag.
good day
July 12th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
The other night I’m drinking at this almost hip party when all of a sudden I overhear this douchebag from a non-HYP Ivy start bragging about his school, etc. I saunter over (’cause I’m HYP, ya know?) to where he’s standing, right next to a gorgeous blonde, and I represent my alma mater. I see his full-of-himself smile turn itself upside down, and just as he’s about to make up some sorry excuse for his inferiority, I recommend that he go get me and my new companion a pair of Smirnoff Ices. As I said earlier, I was at an almost hip party. After he brought us our drinks and I told him to take a hike, I was truly at a HYP party.
July 12th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
christ, the douchebaggery of some of the people here is amazing. first of all, anyone in the class of ‘11 who posts here is a huge tool. huge. you’ve never attended a class? never had a totally sweet 18 keg party with your boys? yeah, shut up.
freshmen are always douchebags, just the nature of the game- it’s sad that facebook is now so ridiculous that their douchebaggery is exposed rather than hidden in a sea of dirty frat parties. Man, back in the good ol’ days of 2004, we knew our place; you refrained from making wall posts about how much you threw up last night lolz… facebook has become a strange and gross place.
yeah, in my day, we walked uphill both ways to class, too. and listened to dragoste din tei, and call on me, and jay-z had retired.. it was a simple time.
i hate being a senior. but the moral of the story: freshmen, wait to get to college before you act supercool. please.
July 12th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Sounds like a venereal disease to me…
July 12th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
“Completely agree with GoBigRed. Yale parties suck and Cornell rules. We can throw down harder than any of the Elis any day of the week”
AAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!! Let’s just state that both Columbia and Cornell are morbid, shitty schools who attract the type of friendless freshman that employ the “word” “noob” (that’s right, because zeroes aren’t letter) on a regular basis. Nobody believes Cornell/Columbia students party harder than Yalies–because Yalies are smart enough to study AND have lives.
July 12th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
@last commenter: *yawn*
July 12th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
carbonated alcoholic beverages? chocolate martinis? sounds like my middle school slumber party. probably one of the many reasons I didn’t get into an ivy league school. whatever, on facebook, we’re all equal, “freshmen need to back off the booze especially at upperclassmen parties”. that’s right, it’s been done.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
i agree with the h ‘07 on being a crotchety old alum. you all sounds like a bunch of fucking babies. seriously quit your bitching. as much as i talk shit about some of the other schools, in reality you should all be thankful that you go where u do, and not to some shithole where the other kids couldn’t give a shit about learning and the professors are on the brink of suicide. and yale2011, you in particular are full of douchebaggery.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Ok, it’s pretty obvious that every year, Freshmen come in acting like idiots and slowly get the idiocy ground out of them. What’s REALLY interesting, though, is that the behavior and insecurity on this message board seems to move along the same cycle. For the next couple of months, expect everybody to immediately start trashing other people’s schools with no provocation. Grow the fuck up, kids.
July 12th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Dartmouth kills, you’re a little late for throwing in your two cents on making fun of the word n00b. Besides, how do you know so much about Yale parties anyway? Don’t you go to Dartmouth, a bastion of sad alcoholics who can’t think of anything better to do than get drunk when not in class? It’s no wonder that when people first think of your school, they immediately think of kids pounding brews and idiots too stupid to handle their liquor (and subsequently end up in the *hilarious* Hanover police blotter). Also, your moronic post is further testament to the countless brain cells that you’ve lost while drinking yourself senseless, your tiny, sorry excuse of a school (let’s review: Dartmouth = College while Cornell = University) holds no candle to the power and prestige of Cornell. There’s a two billion dollar difference in overall endowment funding that can prove this. Plus, don’t marr your post by not being able to decide which school to pick on. For god sakes, make up your fucking mind you nitwit.
But really, I shouldn’t be too surprised about posters like you. From what I’ve read here on the blog in the past, you’re probably just one of those thick-headed Dartmouth douchebags who thinks he’s hot shit, and you’re a total fucking n00b.
July 13th, 2007 at 12:01 am
Just when I think these “comments” could not possibly get any more ridiculous, someone goes and posts a rant twice as ridiculous as the previous one. That’s happened three times. Amazing.
July 13th, 2007 at 12:20 am
who participated in the string of rants “twice as ridiculous as the previous” i confess i was intoxicated a few hours ago. i am sorry for lashing out at the soon to be freshmen.
July 13th, 2007 at 12:41 am
Dartmouth kept the “College” in its name for historical reasons. It’s a university in all but name.
Also, if you care about endowment, don’t look at amount but more at ratio ($$ to # students).
School spirit is great, but can’t we all just accept that all of our schools are great in their own ways?
July 13th, 2007 at 1:59 am
I am a member of the Yale Class of 2011, and, frankly, it bothers me that a “party” group exists for my class at Yale. One of the foremost reasons that I chose to go to Yale was to be around a group of smart and academically motivated people who were proud to be themselves, unashamed of being intellectual and academically interested. Yet, I fear that many of the students in my class — most of whom did not ‘party’ much in high school — will be tempted to masquerade as “cool partiers” who came to college to drink and pretend to like gangster rap. This really bugs me, and, while I’m sure I’ll find the people who I have always wanted to be around, the ones who wear their nerdiness as a badge of honor despite knowing how to have a good time and not take things too seriously, I’m also pretty sure that I’ll have to battle through the frustration of being around so many people with fake “cool” attitudes. Why can’t people just be proud to be themselves and not try to put on an act that, in spite of their intentions to look “cool,” just make them look ridiculous?
July 13th, 2007 at 3:54 am
Dear CU2010,
You seem to be under the impression that cornell actually has it’s own endowment. You should wise up, because most people on this blog actually know some stuff, and aren’t some giddy freshman like yourself who still thinks it’s cool to use the word “noob” . Unlike Dartmouth, cornell gets like 40% of its money from the State of New York (to accommodate all the suicidal C average high schoolers admitted on a 35% acceptance rate). Your state school isn’t even in the fucking top 10, but maybe you were too busy at your LAN party in the lobby of your “school of hotel administration” to realize the shit-show surrounding you.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:57 am
AAAahahaha. Poor CU2010. I really doubt that anyone who employs “n00b” on a regular basis has ever touched a female.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:59 am
Apparently, neither has the writer since he spends his time lurking around facebook groups instead of actually being outside socializing with them.
July 13th, 2007 at 5:07 am
Dear Y’11,
While these groups are pretty amusing, actual feelings of disappointment regarding underage drinking and being “cool” in college strikes me as being symptomatic of having a stick up your ass. Partying doesn’t necessary preclude an interest in academics. Lighten up.
Also, I honestly like gangsta rap, and don’t masquerade as doing so in an effort to be popular. Dipset, holla.
July 13th, 2007 at 7:10 am
Dartmouth freshmen are hereby banned from posting on this blog. They are too stupid to function, let alone speak.
That being said, Cornell, you can eat a whole bag of dicks, ok? You’re really not worth our time.
July 13th, 2007 at 7:36 am
time for another post. i grow tired of this thread. since you guys only have 2 days left, how about we go for three more. but i expect at least one.
July 13th, 2007 at 8:04 am
Princeton ‘06, I’m glad that your four years of Ivy League education have taught you to become the elitist pig that you are. Yes, we are partially endowed by New York State. Jealous? It saves lots of smart young people from New York tons of money for a great education. I’m just sorry that you had to spend your college years in New Jersey (America’s armpit) surrounded by other lame-ass overachievers with the same assinine attitude. Also, while you seem to be so fond of statistics, get your facts straight about our acceptance rate, which was at approximately 23% this year. Yes, we accept more people than you, probably because we’re a larger, more accomodating university and not overrun by uptight martini-chugging snobs, ok dickbreath?
And Penn, try not to get shot when you walk out of your dorm on your way to class, or worse, stumble past 40th street when you’re too drunk to give a shit. At least Cornell’s not smack in the middle of one of America’s most crime-infested neighborhoods.
July 13th, 2007 at 8:27 am
And another thing Princeton ‘06, I’m glad you keep alive the rich tradition of your school looking down their nose at state-funded institutions. After all, it was your university’s former president who ran new student weekend with the theme “dress like you go to a state school”. Classic. I’m sure the kids at Rutgers up the road really appreciated that.
July 13th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Actually, cornell’s not much in the middle of anything….except nowhere…
July 13th, 2007 at 9:47 am
@CU2010: your holier-than-thou condemnations of elitism and snobbery are completely invalidated by your blatant demonstrations of elitism and snobbery. There’s no doubt that far too many insecure Ivy Leaguers take to Cornell-bashing in order to assuage their doubts and second thoughts about the schools that they chose to attend, but your responses to their easy and hackneyed ramblings are as confused as they are equivocal. All Ivy League schools are prestigious. Guess what? Prestige gets you nowhere in life. Most of the people that I interact with on a daily basis could care less that I went to Dartmouth as an undergraduate or that I’m attending Yale as a Ph.D. student; in fact, they’d punch me in the face if I made a big deal out of it. And rightly so. I like to think of myself as smart, but there’s no doubt in my mind that anybody else could be in my place if they cared to do so, or if they enjoyed what I do as much as I do. The fact of the matter is that getting into any Ivy League school is no great accomplishment. Thousands upon thousands of people do so every year, and all it takes is a little cramming for the predictable and unperceptive SAT. Any given Ivy League school is burgeoning with cretinous douche-bags striving to make a shit-ton of money and therefore to turn their brilliant education into nothing more than the equivalent of a technical degree from some vocational school. There are others, however, who value learning in its own right and knowledge as an end in itself. Very few of them frequent this site, I imagine; certainly, they don’t make the kind of transparently self-loathing comments that you and others do. I’d suggest that you calm down for a bit and ponder this: nobody cares that you go to Cornell. Nobody cares about “mother Princeton” or whatever some half-witted fairy-boy fop was calling his alma mater. If you are a douche-bag, then you are a douche-bag, and no amount of $180,000 degrees will change that; only you can, my friend. The power is YOURS!
Lolz. Noob. (I use that term frequently, by the way, and I get laid on a regular basis whilst power-leveling on World of Warcraft.)
July 13th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Let’s settle this: Cornell is the easiest Ivy League school to get into. The joke is, that after four years of throwing legendary parties and hooking up with the same dumb (extremely attactive) jappy sluts, I sit here in an office with tools from Harvard, Yale, Princeton and MIT. Most of my friends are starting at their I-banking and trading jobs this month as well. Yes- Cornell is easier to get into. Yes- I did have way more fun than you in college. Yes- I did sleep with 5 of the 15 cute girls at Cornell. And yes- My officemate did go to Harvard. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a more socially awkward virgin in my life.
So how does it feel knowing that after all of your Cornell bashing insecurity, you will end up being in an office with a Cornell kid, who is getting promoted quicker than you are, because he can not only add and subtract, but he can express the result in a coherent manner and not be bombed at the company happy hour after A beer. My advice to HYP kids, stick to public service, you suck in the corporate world and can claim you are doing it “for your country”.
July 13th, 2007 at 10:06 am
I think that you missed the point, Andy Bernard.
July 13th, 2007 at 10:47 am
d07, yalegrad (whoa, talk about an identity crisis): you’re really not worth my time here. Besides, I already had enough fun shitting all over Dartmouth and Yale, I’m not gonna repeat myself.
But let’s just settle one thing straight here: being an Ivy League student (or alum) will no doubt grant you the power to be as big of a douchebag as you want (guilty). Every school (yes, even mine) has its faults and shares of assholes, pricks, and snobs. Every school here is also a top-of-the-line college that is no doubt definining higher education as we know it, so if you’re posting here as a princeton 08 or a yale 07 or a dartmouth 09, we all know you’re smart. we also all know that deep down inside you’re a little bit of a douchebag too.
I do think it’s time for a new post. Either that or let’s get the thread back to what it should be about: making fun of the incoming class and their escapades in drinking. I think The Onion put it best: High Schoolers today are just simply unprepared for College Level drinking. Seriously, they’re gonna get drunk under the table by experienced upperclassmen every weekend for the first two months of school.
July 13th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Wow, this thread is incredible. The “Andy Bernard” quip was the icing on the cake.
July 13th, 2007 at 11:17 am
@CU2010: you’re a douche-bag, but it has nothing to do with your status as an Ivy League student. It just has to do with you being a douche-bag. Since you’re only a year out of high school, I suggest that you stop trying to convince yourself that you’re one of Earth’s elected few. You’re not; if you don’t realize this now, it will be harder much later on when you learn, much to your chagrin, that few people could care less about whether or not you went to Cornell or community college.
Throughout this entire thread, you’ve attempted to position yourself as the anti-snob, all while making ridiculous claims about your own school at the dubious expense of others. If this is any indication of your intellectual ability, then you will need much more than a degree from Cornell to be granted “the power to be as big of a douchebag as you want.” The only person courting an identity crisis in this case is you; you seem so wrapped up in the grand narrative of your life that it borders on delusion.
July 13th, 2007 at 11:54 am
All this from the man who ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MUST include BOTH of his Ivy league credentials in his handle, especially Yale (which you haven’t even started yet). Don’t you know how that seriously undermines your attempt to be the voice of reason here?
July 13th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
First, who says that I’m a man? Second, these aren’t “credentials,” they’re means by which people can gain a better understanding of my perspective and experience–you know, the means employed by the vast majority of the people making comments on this site. You aren’t particularly observant, are you? And although you’re just finishing your freshman year, I’m sure that you understand that graduate school works a bit differently than undergraduate school, right?
July 13th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
First of all, CU2011, you’re completely distracting everyone from the focus of this entry. Nobody cares whether or not Cornell is less snobby than other Ivies, nor is it even relevant. As you can plainly see, Cornellians are no less likely to post ridiculous comments on facebook than other Ivy League fools. Yale’s party group is incredibly embarassing, and I can completely understand you poking fun at it, but there’s no need to start arguing about which Ivy is better.
July 13th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
wow, I’m having a great time reading all of these posts. do you realize how pathetic everyone is for trying to make their school sound better than all the other schools? how old are we? are we all really that insecure that we have to find ways in which were cooler than other people? this thread is a joke. honestly every post sounds like this:
i’m cooler than all of you because I drink more, party more, have more sex, have a better job, go to a better school, and am less socially awkward. bascially I’m the man
this is why we’re all tools. get over yourselves
July 13th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Ok… CU2010, as a fellow Cornellian, please stop. This is my first time on this site and I am compelled to make this one post hoping it’ll curb the foolishness. I’m not sure you’re helping us at all. People are going to be shallow enough to compare their self-worth to other people by the school they go to, by a bunch of numbers on magazine rankings. That just makes them foo’s, unworthy of anyone’s time. Classiest thing you can do is just ignore ‘em. I promise you this: it’s funny how y’all are comparing yourselves to each other now ‘cos y’all are gonna end up in the same grad schools and jobs anyway; college isn’t the be all and end all, the final judgement. I beg you, DARE you, to just stop posting on these boards for a while and just stop participating in all this dumbness.
I don’t know if you’re bothered, but u sound it, and you’re wasting time responding to dumbasses, and I feel bad. My advice to you (and the only way to survive Ithaca): CU is a strange place where the only people who graduate magna cum laude and get their pick of the choicest jobs and grad school are the people who spend, like, wednesday/thursday/friday/saturday nights going to hot events/subsequent afterparties/ random hookups (Sunday nights not included, ‘cos duh). I’m unsure as to why, but you’ll graduate pimpin’ if u graduate at all. At Yale I don’t party 1/2 as much; ppl go out for dinner & shit; & there is an insufficient population for seriously crazy parties. Probably because there’s a limited selection of things to do in Ithaca, it’s pimp or die; the alternative is you stay in your room; and then you’ll be bitter all day, your life will suck and you’ll graduate with crappy grades. So go out and have fun; CU will be a priceless experience, you’ll be too busy to care about people’s dumb opinions while you’re there; and you’ll all the be in the same grad schools when u graduate so they can’t mouth off ‘cos then it’d be like WTF? Ppl who compare their self worth by their college degrees are pitiful losers anyway. That’s all I have to say, and I don’t know about visiting this website again — looks to be none but frosh & pre-frosh at senseless wars.
July 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
It should be noted that for all this accusations of “insecurity,” the idiot “CU2010″ is the one who started all this shallow school bashing.
July 13th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Waaaah! Waaaah! Waaaah! The Waaambulance is certainly going to be busy this afternoon. Listening to all this bitching and moaning here about what I’ve said is really giving me a headache. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: This is the Ivy League. We’re all douchebags. We’re all smart. Yes, Princeton’06 is right, I admit I started the shallow senseless school bashing, but don’t think I haven’t seen the error of my ways. I mean, the worst thing to come out of this besides all of us now firmly strangling each others throats trying to prove which Ivy is the best is that we’ve COMPLETELY gone off the topic here, which is HOW INCREDIBLY MORE DOUCHE-Y, MORONIC, PRICK-ISH, AND INANE THE INCOMING CLASS IS. So what if I’ve only been in college for a year? Yes, I don’t have the sage old wisdom of the alumni or upperclassmen, but at least I can relate to the pre-frosh, considering I was right smack in their shoes one year ago. I don’t get mad often, but if some dumb fuck is going to tell me that it’s impossible for me to type when I’m sticking a gun to my head based on what school I go to (I don’t care if you’re an alum or a pre-frosh yale2011, you truly are a moron), that’s when the shit hits the fan.
And please, I hope nobody is taking this seriously. I truly and sincerely hope none of you are crying about how some lame fucktard who happens to know next to nothing about your school is bashing the living shit out of it (for all I care, you can even call me that lame fucktard, I have no regrets about anything I’ve posted here thus far).
Now before you go to your keyboards and think of a quick-witted and highly insulting response to make yourself feel better, just remember that this is, after all, the internet, a wonderful place where you can pretty much say anything you want and be anyone you want. I’m not trying to be the voice of reason here, nor am I trying to be a “holier-than-thou” figure, but it’s gotten to the point where we have collectively (I myself doing a lot of this) created a huge firestorm and now I’m taking responsbility to clean up the mess. EVERYONE HERE GOES TO A GREAT SCHOOL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AND DONE.
That being said, I’m really tired of playing the bully, upstart, douchebag, idiot, moron, whatever name you want to label me as. I really don’t want to keep having to piss more people off and make people unecessarily angry. I’m even willing to, as cornell04 bluntly put it, “stop posting on these boards for a while”. Let’s just get back to the real point here: The pre-frosh have unrealistically high expectations of what to expect. They think they’re hot shit but they will cower in fear when reality strikes.
I’m outta here.
July 13th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
so have you guys seen Biodome
July 13th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Warning. All hell is breaking loose.
July 13th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
All hell is breaking loose.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
CU2010’s dignity has left the building.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
At Stanford we prefer to sit back and watch you east coasters duke it out while we laugh our ass off…jk lol, but seriously guys, chill.
July 13th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I’m glad that Penn is noticeably absent from this ridiculous fighting…
July 13th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Wow. Times change. When I was in 12th grade (1998) applying to schools, Cornell was ranked 6th and people were easily turning down Columbia, Darthmouth etc (Both I and my roommie turned down Columbia; two engineering roomies thought #6 was good enough to turn down Yale — they claimed not to like the campus & engineering dept).
Then one morning in junior year, it was like a bomb was dropped on campus — thanks to a change in rankings methodology, we plummeted out of the top 10. Overnight, my roomates were like, “Oh I should’ve gone to Columbia.” and “I totally could’ve gone to Yale..” I remember people holding the newspaper and being all furious, like there’s anything the school could’ve done. All over numbers, all overnight. It’s kind of a pity.
Honestly, you all think it’s more than that, but it isn’t. When I was in 11th grade, Caltech was #1 and suddenly everyone wanted to go there!! Then by 12th grade it dropped to 9th and suddenly everyone ignored it! Then it went back up again… u get the point. It’s all numbers, people.
I remember reading an article last year about Princeton’s president wanting to gradually increase class sizes by 10%, and all anyone was commenting on was “Oh no, what if our rankings drop?”.
July 13th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
I like you.
July 13th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I go to Harvard. You’re all fucking idiots. So, shut up.
July 14th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
CU2010
EVERYONE HERE GOES TO A GREAT SCHOOL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AND DONE.
except him.
July 14th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
i really hope that freshman year at yale isn’t going to be like 10th and 11th grade in high school, with people solely talking about how drunk they got, and pointing to pictures of themselves w/ smirnoff and natty light on their new digital cameras. these “party people 2011″ groups are ridiculous, and frankly if people want to party so hard, they shouldn’t be writing about drinking on a facebook board late on a weekend night. i thought i would be past all this douchebaggery once i graduated high school. the thought that i’m going to have to deal with more and more irritating people talking about how many beers they drank, and how fucking wasted they are, puts quite a damper on my excitement. sure i drink and smoke weed on occasion, but big fucking deal. drink when you want, smoke when you want, but for fucks sake don’t make a huge show of it.
that said. i’m excited for yale this fall, regardless of the idiotic facebook group.
July 15th, 2007 at 1:57 am
i think that “sigh” made a very good point about the stupid numbers and US news rankings. if some of you chose your ivy league education because some random magazine claimed it was 5 or 2 or 9 or whatever, then i don’t think you chose your school for the right reasons.
that said, having facebook class of 2011 party people groups is so retarded. it just shows that the insecurity from being nerdy or smart in high school is just manifesting itself in a facebook group. maybe if we all ignore it… they’ll figure out no one cares.
July 15th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
One of my posts in “Penn Partiers ‘11″ was actually published in this article, so I feel it would be apt to reply.
I think the real irony of this article is the utter douchebaggery of the person who wrote it. Awesome, you blogged about incoming ivy league freshman, took shots at facebook humor, and just generally insulted several hundred people without any basis or understanding of any of them. What’s your supposition, that all the members of the Penn Partying group actually thought “apple juice” was a clever disguise? Obviously we’re just mocking the entire idea of facebook discretion, so why bother making in to more than it is?
Oh wait, I have an answer to that question. Because the writer of this article is himself an enormously pompous, pseudo-intellectual douchebag who can barely restrain his sexual pleasure in writing the word onomatopoeic before he stops to wonder if he has any idea what the hell he’s talking about.
So to that end, Jacob Savage, congratulations. By writing such a thoroughly pointless, misinformed, and baselessly derisive article you HAVE convinced me that you ARE a douchebag with SO much to learn.
July 15th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
to teach him than a high school senior en route to penn!
July 15th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
fucking prefrosh need to shut the fuck up
July 15th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
July 15th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
tl;dr
i only got down to some argument between yale2011 and everyone else. and to that poor chick/dude: i appreciate the effort/dedication to our big blue mother but christ, you don’t even GO here yet. chill. also thanks for a reality check, since it’s summer i’d forgotten that 90% of yale was douchebags but you’ve reminded me.
July 15th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Penn Partier: Don’t pretend to be some sort of noble and wise person, you’re just somebody who wrote moronic comments about alcoholic excess on an internet website. You don’t even go to Penn yet.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:46 am
While you all debate the finer points of internet assbaggary and elitism, this is what the rest of the world is dealing with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcmHvczBGqg
July 16th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
None of you are entitled to an opinion about how the world really is, what really matters, etc. You’re all making fun of the freshman for not knowing anything about the world, but if you’re still in college–as it seems most of you are–or even just a couple of years out, the difference between you and a freshman is smaller than you think. You don’t know anything more about the world than they do. Sure, maybe you know how to do a kegstand and not to have beer before liquor, but you haven’t lived in the real world yet. That’s a good thing–enjoy it while you can–but please stop talking down to people who are only a few years younger than you just because you can. You don’t know shit either. And keep copies of your posts here–in 5 or 10 years you’ll laugh at how ridiculous you all sound.
July 17th, 2007 at 12:33 am
Yalie 2011: …says the High School Graduate talking down to a poster on the internet. Get a grip, you’re being twice as “noble and wise” trying to talk me down than I was criticizing the article. I had an opinion about the irony of the article’s content and insinuation - you’re just being holier-than-thou on the internet.
Don’t pretend to be so cooly big-picture. You don’t even go to Yale yet.
July 17th, 2007 at 12:45 am
But, to be fair I will admit that mean as it is to point it out, 2011 is looking somewhat grim. Penn may have had the dumb nicknames, but at least we’re talking about beer. Smirnoff ice? Good God people…
July 18th, 2007 at 12:52 am
True, making fun of prefrosh is not fair sport. HOWEVER, if somebody didn’t smack them into shape, they’d behave like utter douchetards until graduation. Maybe it’s time to bring back freshman beanies and hazing.
July 18th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
http://columbia.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2394933935
July 19th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Wow. Seriously, guys, this is getting entirely out of hand. What do any of us gain by bashing each other’s schools and their respective partying tendencies? I mean, really, not all that much. At best, several moments of short-lived satisfaction at having brought down a few thousand students who, in reality, are probably just as capable of succeeding in life as we believe ourselves to be. Is that really worth it? Those of you who have been commenting regularly should go back and see if you regret any part of what you’ve said over the course of this long, drawn-out, and more or less pointless strand of back-and-forth.
The Ivy League bashing tradition is, yes, an ancient one, but usually it’s done with a recognizable level of jest. All of this that I’ve been reading? Call me blind or naive or whatever you like, but I haven’t been laughing much in the past 15 minutes that I’ve spent reading all of this.
Every graduating class at every college/university across the COUNTRY parties. This has been true, as far as I can see, for at least the past several decades. I agree that this bragging trend that the more recent classes have gotten into is rather unattractive, but that’s just because now there’s an outlet for that type of crap–Facebook.
Get over it. This conversation is going in circles and a lot of you have said things that make you sound like idiots–regardless of whether or not you actually are. Be nice, already…or at least be civil…
July 20th, 2007 at 2:00 am
Hey! Stop making fun of me!
And to that Yalie freshman: Drinking is amaazing. Don’t knock it. I used to get drunk all the time with my a cappella group back at school, and pick up chicks, and it was Rock.City.
July 20th, 2007 at 2:06 am
CU2010: stop making us look bad.
And Yale 2010: “Yale’s expanding its financial aid to include pretentious poor kids like me…” thank you for making the only funny comment in this whole discussion. For that, I will have your babies.
July 21st, 2007 at 4:53 am
whatever, Brown is the best
July 24th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
when i was a freshman, i couldn’t comprehend why seniors would always be douchebags to clueless freshman.
now it’s all so clear…
July 25th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Looks to me like someone got left out as a freshman and is still bitter….
Sorry no one was there to help develop your probably non-existent social skills, but hey, I guess that’s why you’re writing blogs on the internet commenting about freshman. What a fucking pathetic excuse for a human being.
July 25th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
you know what’s more pathetic? picking fights with random people on those same blogs. also, taking jokes really, really, seriously.
August 3rd, 2007 at 12:19 am
You know, I’m going to Harvard this fall, but I don’t care about parties, and I don’t care about booze. What’s the deal with all these groups that apparently are so excited about the prospect of getting wasted like a real college student?
August 9th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Thank you for bringing the funny comments made quota up to 2.
Oh, and every school has douchebags but apparently all the Ivies unleashed theirs on this one blog comments page. Wow, as a current Yalie I don’t know whether to be horrified that people like you go to school with me/to a school closely affiliated with my own or to be happy that I don’t know any of you in person.
PS Thanks to all the people that have tried to put a stop to this ridiculous bickering.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:17 am
man, screw all this ivy league shit. you should all just go to reed. best “partiez,” best education. it would give you a run for your money. honestly, spending so much time bragging about your respective school which belongs to a group of schools united only through football. and even then, they suck. SE conference kicks ass. i digress. i’m not really a hater. just trying to demonstrate the slight overhype of ALL ivy league schools.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:41 am
let’s all just go to harvard.
February 11th, 2008 at 2:11 am
This is just fucking hilarious despite the fact that am reading it almost a year later…