Liveblogging Newman’s Day: Pissing with Pikes (UPDATED 11:57 PM)
Princeton’s dukes of drunk, Mike and Will, continue the 24-beer Newman’s Day challenge, with live and increasingly messily typed updates after the jump. For the morning liveblog click here. For an explanation as to why anyone would ever do such a thing, click here.
4:50PM: Pikes by the Pool
Mike: With Will in class, I’ve been looking for someone else to talk to about Newman’s Day. Luckily, I ran into a friend who told me Princeton’s Pikes were set up outside a dorm with a kiddie pool, grilling, and shagging golf balls down between the other residence halls.
I stopped by to talk to a few of them between beer 13 and 14. They were in generally good spirits, and one of them, who wasn’t doing Newman’s Day because his Junior Paper was due (but was still drunk anyway), gave me a few words about his ideas. For those of you who think Will and I aren’t getting drunk fast enough, my Pike friend would also offer some advice.
“Newman’s Day [the holiday in which one drinks 24 beers in as many hours] isn’t about getting drunk,” he said, “it’s about hanging out. When you’re a Freshman it seems really hard, but I’ve got friends who are doing 36 or 48 beers. Whatever. It’s not really about the holiday, either. One sports team that has to be dry tonight is doing it next week.”
While this was going on, Pikes were taking turns pissing in a grate that covered a basement window. Oh, they were wrestling, too.
Anyhow, Will and I are stepping it up. We’ve got dodgeball coming up, classes are over, and then the Street will open.
- Mike: Beers: 14, BAC: 0.02
- Will: Beers: 13, BAC: 0.08 (I am now unable to drive in most states. Thank god I don’t have a license.)
….
8:31 PM
We would like to highlight at this point the difficulty of Newman’s Day. It is not the fact of drinking 24 beers, but rather the rules that one must follow in order to drink those beers. Namely, not falling asleep and having to go to class, where one cannot look drunk. All over campus, Newman’s Day participants are slumped in lawn chairs, or on couches, hoping that the end comes soon. The urge to shut one’s eyes is overpowering, and similar is the desire to pick up a Red Bull, even though that means the intake of another diuretic. At the end of the day, sure, there will be a burst of energy, but right now we’re in the doldrums. The only way to make it stop is to drink the remaining beers…
Also, we found that there may soon be a Saint Newman. Alright!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article3807272.ece
Tallys:
Mike: Beers: 19, BAC: 0.05
Will: Beers: 19, BAC: 0.08
….
10:28PM: Mike Takes Victory Lap, Sober Enough to Drive Car. Apparently 25 Beers Is OK For Operating a Motor Vehicle?
Mike is finally finished. After 16 hours, 30 minutes, and 24 beers, Mike pulled ahead of Will while helping some late-coming dude-bros looking to stash some brews in a secret location. He snagged a Cream Ale for it, as a celebratory number 25.
Will is MIA. The duo will reunite for dodgeball soon and then for the Street. Stay tuned…
Tally
Mike: Beers: 24, BAC: 0.06
Will: MIA
….
11:42PM: Will’s Grand Return, and a Shot of Reality from an Old Person
Will returns from an embarrassingly early elimination from the dodgeball tournament and shotguns his last two beers. Maureen types because Will is not entirely stable due to an unfortunate run-in with a half-gallon of milk at dinner. He blows a 0.15 on the alcohol iPod. He claims this cannot be true; clearly, the alcohol iPod is miscalibrated; perhaps he needs to wash it down with some water; is God and/or soon-to-be-beatified Cardinal Newman intervening?!
Final tally:
Will: Beers: 24, Other liquids: Ugh, stomach turning, BAC: 0.15
Mike: Dodging rubber balls. Evening plans unclear, but we kind of doubt he’s going out.
The dukes of drunk retire for the evening, slightly ashamed to not have blown beyond 0.15, but seriously, steady drunkenness for an entire day? Tiring. A reality check comes in the form of an email from Maureen’s mother:
cant believe it. the two guys are not falling down drunk yet! actually, they are providing valuable info on the alcohol drinking and processing. ha!
Nothing like an old person to remind you that, yes, this is the kind of behavior that is only acceptable on a college campus. Ivy as we may be, we’re still just a bunch of asshole college kids who dream big and fall down prematurely drunk every time.
Think you can do better? Tell us about your college’s drinking traditions. Graduation, reunions, and senior weeks are coming up — let the liveblog of lush-ery live on!
Related Posts
40 Comments | 
Digg This | 
Share on Facebook | 
Print This Post
| 
Email This Post
Read more: liveblogging newman's day, Princeton
Search
Email
About
Report a bug
Archives
RSS Feed
April 24th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
By this time last year I was at 20. But then… I started at midnight.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Why is this significant - the body metabolizes alcohol at the rate of approximately one drink per hour - “24 hours in a day” therefore you never get drunk… wtf … Here at D we call 24 beers in an hour pong and 12 beers in 3 minutes a thunderdome. And still, who cares?
April 24th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
This “holiday” represents such a sad state of affairs at Princeton. How the fuck did all these morons get into a place like Princeton? Seriously, what the fuck?
April 24th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
tremendous effort guys!
April 24th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
one of them is going to Harvard Law next year. what does that say?
April 25th, 2008 at 12:05 am
It seems like their foray into this ridiculous tradition was for solely journalistic purposes. They also have completed any responsibilities that could have been adversely affected by heavy drinking.
The people I’m referring to are the douches engaging in this shit for no reason other than reveling in their adolescent stupidity. It’s unbelievable that Princeton , the institution of Albert Einstein, could accept such unabashedly retarded and immature individuals.
BTW: I’m starting at Princeton next year. Sad to say that my idea of Princeton as an academic utopia is slowly fading. And for context, I’m far from a Dungeons and Dragons nerd.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Every Ivy is brimming with idiots now, it’s not just a “Princeton thing” but a changing level of standards based upon the world that lost a level of gentility long ago.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:41 am
so if i hear you correctly the moral of the story is that the british should have never left india, right?
April 25th, 2008 at 12:55 am
Gentility is a funny word. It kinda sounds like genitalia.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:24 am
The moral of the story is that you should all practice abstinence….
JP, God doesn’t exist.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:53 am
“newman’s day” sounds like your average monday/wednesday/friday/saturday at dartmouth. 24 beers over a whole day? thats like a light evening of pong (tree, not that other bullshit).
April 25th, 2008 at 1:56 am
Hey Princeton Prefrosh…
let’s hear your ideas when you have a high school diploma? We’ll see how you feel about celebrating adolescent stupidity when your chance to do so is a tad more fleeting
April 25th, 2008 at 2:00 am
I’m not a Princeton prefrosh. I graduate from another Ivy in May. I deplore similar behavior at my present school.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Thunnnnnnnnnderrrrrrrrrdoooooooooooome
April 25th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Hm… grad school prefrosh? do grad schools have those?
April 25th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Princeton? HA HA HA….oh wait, were you super cereal?
April 25th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Wow you Dartmouth kids are so hardcore. Seriously, how do you rage all of the time? We want to be you and that’s why one day every year, we drink 24 beers in 24 hours. Never mind Lawnparties, Casino Nights, Dean’s Dates (fall and spring), Houseparties, Reunions, plus there’s Spring Fling at Penn, the Game, Slope Day. We less awesome Ivies are jsut trying to be you even if only a couple days a year. Douches.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Sorry I misspelled “just” - I’m drunk right now.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
P’009, you are so right.
Dartmouth is a great school academically and socially. That said, the Dartmouth people who are commenting here are retarded. Wow, you drink a lot, I’m sure there’s a medal waiting for you somewhere. The rest of us realized when we graduated high school that it isn’t about volume of drinks as much as it’s about having fun. So go play tree all night since you guys clearly can’t have fun otherwise, everyone else is going to be social.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
All the uptight, self-righteous Princeton kids need to relax. So one day a year students at your university drink 24 beers in 24 hours. In spite of this, Princeton is not quite the intellectual wasteland you imagine (or else you wouldn’t be here).
You should be proud to go to the school that boasts the #1 undergraduate academic program in the county, alongside traditions like Newman’s Day and lawn parties. I know I am.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
All the uptight, self-righteous Princeton kids need to relax. So one day a year students at your university drink 24 beers in 24 hours. In spite of this, Princeton is not quite the intellectual wasteland you imagine (or else you wouldn’t be here).
You should be proud to go to the school that boasts the #1 undergraduate academic program in the county, alongside traditions like Newman’s Day and lawn parties. I know I am.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
“the #1 undergraduate academic program in the county”
Yeah, Mercer’s a huuuuuge county, so it’s quite the achievement. Go Princeton!
April 25th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
In “Diaries of Kenneth Tynan,” Tynan (theater critic) relates a story about having dinner or something with Paul Newman, during which Newman makes the “24 hours in a day . . .” quote. It’s always possible that Tynan made up the story. But the quote wasn’t just randomly attributed to Newman
April 25th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
In “Diaries of Kenneth Tynan,” Tynan (theater critic) relates a story about having dinner or something with Paul Newman, during which Newman makes the “24 hours in a day . . .” quote. It’s always possible that Tynan made up the story. But the quote wasn’t just randomly attributed to Newman
April 25th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
how bout 21 club?
April 25th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I’m sure your undergrad ivy alma mater’s social scene misses you sorely. Why don’t you mellow out and let kids take a day-long holiday from intellectual pursuits. Most people don’t perceive college as an intellectual utopia. They perceive it as college. I’m sorry collegiate fun is too immature for you, that’s ok; but that doesn’t make you any less a d-bag for your pretentious disdain.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I’m sure your undergrad ivy alma mater’s social scene misses you sorely. Why don’t you mellow out and let kids take a day-long holiday from intellectual pursuits. Most people don’t perceive college as an intellectual utopia. They perceive it as college. I’m sorry collegiate fun is too immature for you, that’s ok; but that doesn’t make you any less a d-bag for your pretentious disdain.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
“It’s unbelievable that Princeton , the institution of Albert Einstein, could accept such unabashedly retarded and immature individuals…”
Einstein was never a Professor at Princeton. He worked for the Institute for Advanced Study which happens to be nearby. Einsten also completed Newman’s Day every year in between 1936 and 1951.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I never claimed that the domain of worthwhile activities was populated by solely intellectual endeavors. In fact, I don’t agree with that sentiment whatsoever. What I deplore is people who consider such a retarded exercise engaging. Binge drinking is a shallow activity whose positive result is machismo pride amongst weak willed, peer pressured pussies. I’m all for fun (sports, chasing ass, excursions to the City, etc…). I just don’t understand how such supposedly intelligent individuals could consider severely altering one’s mind state to be anything more than a waste of time and a possible detriment to one’s health.
April 26th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Thank god you don’t go to Columbia.
Sorry Princeton folks, but you’re taking one for the team with this guy.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Einstein was quarantined with the other Jews at Princeton in the era of the WASP.
April 26th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
People drink alcohol at Princeton?
April 26th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
You’re assuming I’m not currently completing my undergrad at Columbia? I’m attending a lower tier Ivy so they would include Columbia.
But anyway, why is it so unbelievable that I consider binge drinking to be a waste of time? So anyone who doesn’t get plastered on the weekend is a drain to a college’s social life?
April 27th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
@ @ C 08:
You don’t go to Columbia. It wouldn’t explain your aversion to drinking or your mention of a tiered system. Starting as freshmen, we Columbians are led to believe either that 1) we’re in the same tier as HYP (we’re not) or 2) there are no tiers. At Cornell, however, you’re constantly reminded of the tier system. Cornellians are neither too free to ignore it, like Brown students, nor too drink to not realize what’s going on, like Dartmouth students. A Penn undergrad would likely not want to go to Princeton for graduated studies, nor would he be so quick to admit he goes to a “lower-tiered” school, no matter what the tone of such an admission would be. Therefore, I submit that you are a Cornell student.
April 27th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Wow. That was awesome. Seriously, that’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.
But you ignored the second half of what I said. Why is my aversion to binge drinking so unbelievable?
April 28th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
dartmouth is an ivy?
April 28th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
It is.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:00 am
Yeah James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Winston Churchill, Van Gogh, and just about every 19th century Bohemian intellectual would definitely agree with this statement —- I just don’t understand how such supposedly intelligent individuals could consider severely altering one’s mind state to be anything more than a waste of time and a possible detriment to one’s health.—
You are obviously a cultureless fool with a stick so far up your ass you can’t even see straight.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:02 am
Yeah James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Winston Churchill, Van Gogh, and just about every 19th century Bohemian intellectual would definitely agree with this statement —- I just don’t understand how such supposedly intelligent individuals could consider severely altering one’s mind state to be anything more than a waste of time and a possible detriment to one’s health.—
You are obviously a cultureless fool with a stick so far up your ass you can’t even see straight.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:04 am
Yeah James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Winston Churchill, Van Gogh, and just about every 19th century Bohemian intellectual would definitely agree with this statement —- I just don’t understand how such supposedly intelligent individuals could consider severely altering one’s mind state to be anything more than a waste of time and a possible detriment to one’s health.—
You are obviously a cultureless fool with a stick so far up your ass you can’t even see straight.