Who Though Refusing To Perform Oral Could Get This Bad?
Looks like our frienemy Lena Chen isn't the only one with ex-boyfriend grad student stalker issues. We now bring you the sad saga of Angela Rasmussen, a Columbia GS, who, in her words, is "tired of Columbia dicking me around and telling me they're going to handle it, when it has come to my attention that my department's administrators have been lying to us both to avoid creating a big scene."
Basically, on her blog, Angela called out a certain Ryan "for refusing to perform oral sex on her and demanding it for himself nevertheless, insisting his "culture" forbade his going down on her. Saying he went apeshit is a bit of an understatement. Here's Angie's account of the story.
We went to my hotel room and proceeded to strip down, when things went awry. Since we didn't buy any condoms, he refused to have sex with me. I was like, "No problem, we can do other things."
He responded that on account of his being Jamaican, he doesn't "do that." When I established that "that" referred to performing cunnilingus, I informed him that he wasn't getting a free blow job from me. Actually, I don't think I specifically said that, but I somehow put the brakes on our hooking up. I am not stingy with the fellatio, but in the words of the inimitable Robert Sylvester Kelly, "I ain't goin' down on you if you ain't goin' down on me." Blow jobs are challenging! They really hurt your jaw and you don't know the meaning of "epic struggle" until you've had one with your own gag reflex. Giving a solid blow job is hard work, and I don't just hand them out to any asshole who wants one, especially someone I might never see again who I don't know and don't really care to impress.
After reading the post, Ryan - who at this point hadn't been called out by name - went nuts.
Several days later, Ryan apparently decided to check out my website, and discovered the entry. He marched right into my lab's tissue culture room to unleash hell. One minute I was loading mouse cells into a MACS column in the hood, and the next, Ryan was inches from me screaming, "YOU FUCKING CUNT! HOW DARE YOU SMEAR MY NAME? YOU WHORE, YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH MY CAREER!"
Ryand then posted an insane, insane diatribe on Razzy's blog. Angela then tried to get the Columbia administration to intervene, but to little avail.
After the jump: Ryan's JUICY response.
"Culturally" anti-cunnilingus man then posted on her blog:
As many guys have probably discovered, the only way to find you remotely attractive is to be one beer away from alcohol poisoning. The fact that I never express any interest in you when I'm sober or even only mildly intoxicated should clue you in to this. Those many months ago, I did not so mean that you were "cock-blocking" so much as I meant that you telling everyone here that we "hooked-up" (again mere ounces away from alcohol poisoning), made one person I was interested in feel unvalued because she thought anyone who could find you attractive must not have very high standards. You call what you wrote "calling me on my bullshit," but its just you once again trying to feed your insatiable need for attention the only way you know how - through dirt. Never mind the questionable veracity and selective storytelling of your account of the past few years, what you did and have been doing is potentially career damaging, and no one deserves that for his/her opinion regarding oral sex. Plenty of things happen in grad school, but no one broadcasts them quite like you do. You may not realize it, but when you go around talking about things like your sex life, and showing everyone your tits, not everyone thinks it's cute. It is many of these same people who will inevitably become some of your scientific contacts later in life. The higher-ups in our department cannot tell us how to behave outside of lab, but if they found out that you initiated the carryover of those outside events into this department through publicly trying to destroy another students image, they would have something to say about it. What you do with your name is your business. When you start playing around with mine as you did, you are getting dangerously close to libel and I am compelled to respond.
So, the fact is that Jamaican culture does frown on oral sex; even your friends know that. But that's not why I don't do it. Jamaican culture does not dictate my life. Truth is I would do it, just not to someone like you - not in a billion, billion years. To anyone else who reads this, as Angie has proven, having too many beers can alter one's judgment so severely that one almost literally becomes a different person. In fact, as upset as Angie's blog has made me, I cannot guarantee that if I had too many drinks tonite I would not do something just as stupid as what got me into this whole mess - and that's a problem. The bad thing about having a high tolerance is that you get stupid before you get sick and instead of passing out, you're walking around in an alcohol-induced daze.
Following a couple more posts, Ryan threatened legal action, hiring a lawyer and drafting a long cease and desist letter and threatening suit for "defamation of character." You can see the legalistic, Vayner-esque nonsense here. There's obviously more back-and-forth, but if you're that interested you'll have to look it up yourself.
Here's a tip, folks: if you have an extremely creepy boyfriend or hook-up, do not blog about him. It will only make things worse.
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March 20th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
typo…
March 20th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
They don’t call it a “job” for nothing..
March 20th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Wow…he doth protest too much.
March 20th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
That Razzy is one ugly and mean woman! I’m amazed that I just wasted 20 minutes reading her blog that was filled with the most vitriolic rants imaginable. And who let her into a Ph.D. program at Columbia of all places? Doesn’t interest in professional sports eliminate you somehow?
March 20th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
THere’s nothing even remotely insane about Ryan’s post. He’s lucid, clear, straightforward and defending a piece of information that was made GLOBALLY public about him without his consent or permission. He’s not creepy. SHE is.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Does anyone think the girl is a tremendous douchebag for blogging about a hookup? Did the boy know this was going to happen? Did he consent to have his name published in this fashion?
March 20th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Can we agree that she’s clearly a attention whore as per this picture posted on her blog:
http://www.razzy.org/RazzyBlog/uploaded_images/Photo-212-711987.jpg
March 20th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Please don’t click on the razzy.org image. Please don’t. Now everyone in the Reading Room is staring at my screen.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
so, when this girl has nothing to write about she just posts topless pictures of herself? and these photos are connected to her name? and she has aspirations of potentially being a successful research scientist? she must be a complete idiot. not to mention i have way better boobs than her.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Tony Blair and the Terminator are both coming to Yale, Penn and Hahvahd post the smallest tuition increases in a decade, Cornell got raped by Standford in ball and Princeton… won some more shit having to do with sports… and you report on this?
March 20th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
you expect us to believe that sight unseen?
March 21st, 2008 at 1:07 am
As they say on some parts of the intertubes, tits or gtfo
March 21st, 2008 at 9:33 am
do jamaicans seriously have a cultural taboo against cunnilingus? anyone know what the deal is? that shit’s fucked up, glad she called him out on it.
March 21st, 2008 at 9:51 am
lolz - all he managed to do in his post is establish that he’s an irresponsible drinker who frequently gets himself into stupid situations because he is so wasted… good job salvaging that reputation, there, ryan!
March 21st, 2008 at 9:57 am
i don’t understand why so many are taking the side of the girl…ok well the WORST you can say about the guy is that he was a jerk in expecting a bj without giving anything back. but that doesn’t mean you expose his name and write crap about him online. go read the stuff online…it’s pretty defamatory. i would sue too.
March 21st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
razzy’s original post had no name, mr./ms. “do you fact check?” check it. http://www.razzy.org/RazzyBlog/2006/06/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-but.html
that piece gets what he deserves.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Taking the side of the girl? I read the stuff online but seems like you didn’t very closely, because I don’t see how any decent person can have much sympathy for him. Did you skip over the part where he constantly pestered her for sex and then screamed at her for writing about it without using his name, then tried to get her in trouble at school for it? I’m surprised it took her so long to call him out publicly. What a creep.
March 21st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
As someone who read the posts in real time - she did not start using any part of his name until several stalking / harassment incidents. I am quite a bit older than the probable demographic for the site and do not claim to agree with all her cultural/political views (nor get any enjoyment from the titty shots) but do find her intelligent in how she states them.
And I do find taking a full offense as a defense understandable for her. Aw, did the poor baby boy realize that maybe a half-dozen people who did not already know MAY be able to put the pieces together? Did he harass her in a manner similar to the harassment he doled out to other women? It doesn’t matter if she is BSC, he has a history of harassment and has a high dose of BSC as well.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I think these two deserve each other, so they should make up and have sex. They’re equally deranged and childish. And this is what Ivy-league schools are all about?!?