Ragtime March 26, 2008: The alumni group with the creepiest name
- Columbia: In response, Columbia decides to celebrate 1685 founding of Harlem
- Columbia: Luckily, they have superheroes instead of employees, which redeems the entire institution
- Cornell: Girl finds God on airplane; everyone else busy looking for the barf bag
- Dartmouth: Dartmouth Undying eerily reminiscient of Opus Dei
- Penn: Guy attempts break-in to free chick from the Matrix and/or scare the living daylights out of her
- Princeton: Quidditch! (seriously)
- Yale: Korean university gets litigious
Note: Sorry for our brief black-out, readers! Turns out the internet is a “privilege” at Princeton, one easily lost by those watching inordinate amounts of porn– or, you know, attempting to use two computers on a single WiFi account. Word to the wise: Register your devices. PU’s personal-computing Panopticon demands full disclosure.




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March 26th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I love how at the end of D article critizing Dartmouth Undying is a paid advertisement for, you guess it, Dartmouth Undying.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:44 am
“I don’t think I feel less safe now because Penn Police responded fairly quickly and it wasn’t an outside Philadelphia resident who somehow broke through security or anything.”
oh thank god it wasn’t, like, a Philadelphia resident! Philadelphians are, like, filthy and dangerous, and, uh, totally unfashionable.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
The Dartmouth column is partially plagiarized from an article in the Dartmouth Review. Didn’t some guy have to leave the White House staff for ripping off the Review?
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 am
all contate name