The War on Fun: Harvard Update
In a sharply-worded letter to some student leaders, Interim Dean of the College David Pilbeam explained his decision to shut down the UC Party Grant program, demonstrating in the process just how much he hates fun, sex, and America (you can find the full text here):
“The UC Party Grant program is inherently flawed, and must be ended immediately. From this date forward no further funds can be dispersed for private parties… the UC has not assumed responsibility — and, as emphasized in your most recent email to Dean Nelson, affirmatively refuses to assume responsibility — for verifying that underage students will not be reimbursed for purchasing alcohol. As sponsors of the Party Grant program, it was the UCs responsibility to ensure that grants that included funds for alcohol did not go to students under 21. Since you have not assumed this responsibility, we cannot continue to allow funds to be used for this purpose, as institutional funds can never be used to sponsor private events with alcohol that the College has no way of regulating.
Second, it is quite apparent that the UC Party Grant program, in practice, has funded parties where the focus is on drinking. Alcohol abuse is the number one student health concern at Harvard… I also would like you to consider recommitting your funds for uses that will benefit the majority of students who are members of student organizations…. Although my decision that the Party Grant program must be discontinued is final, members of my staff will work with you to find the best ways to redirect those funds.”
If you ask me, this is PCU, Animal House-style oppression. Where is Jeremy Piven to rage, rage, against the dying of the light?
After the jump: the histrionic student response.
Our favorite frienemy, gold-medalist blogger of ill-repute Lena Chen, had this to say:
“Maybe it’s just me, but I actually think depression is going to skyrocket on this campus if the booze is taken away. There is very little to look forward to as it is. Without the occasional tipsy end-of-week party, what’s left?”
Just death and taxes, Lena. Just death and taxes.
One 24/7 party dude expressed similar dismay in a Crimson article:
“It’s just financially impossible to host as much as we would like to, or at all, because we don’t have those kinds of resources.”
According to the Crimson, the party grant program doles out $1,750 every week to students holding events.
After several hours of painful mathematical calculation, I discovered that $1750 comes out to less than thirty cents a week per Harvard undergraduate. How will Harvard kids ever survive?
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October 3rd, 2007 at 12:20 pm
And I thought UChicago was where fun came to die…
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
They used to get money from the university for parties? That’s insane. Why can’t these Harvard kids just fund their own parties?
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:28 pm
COlumbia 08, the UC funds used for the party grants actually came straight out of the UC activities fee that undergrads pay every year. So, technically, Harvard kids were using their own funds. And, interestingly, the deadline for getting a refund of that $75 fee was September 30th- before Pilbeam sent the letter.
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
harvard kids don’t have a lot of parties. the point is to encourage them to socialize. having been to a number of the ivies, harvard is one of the most boring in terms of the party, or just the hang out and drink scene, so they really do need the help. trust me.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:02 pm
http://uc.fas.harvard.edu/uploads/Correspondence/071002%20Pilbeam%20Party%20Fund%20Memorandum%20Unappended.pdf
is the response of the UC president…
While I disagree with the University’s decision, I could respect/accept it if the manner in which it was made wasn’t so despicable.
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
what’s probably most depressing is that a large contingent of students seem to support the administration’s decision. only in the ivies would you get students fighting to end parties
oh, and not sure if this was mentioned…this news from the dean came one day after the deadline to opt out of the voluntary student council fee (where the party funds come from. party funds allocation is about 15% of the fee.)
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
the picture youve used is not pilbeam. sloppiness!
see this link:
http://www.college.harvard.edu/deans_office/
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Yeah, wrong dean! The unidentified “adult” in the pic is actually a very cool fun administrator who the students really like. I worked for him for 11 years and he is hardly the face of a fun-killing machine.
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Alcohol is the only thing keeping these kids from jumping out of windows. As someone who’s been there, trust me. Watch the suicide rate climb from 6 a year to 10 a year with even a small decrease in lubricated social functions. Give the kids their damn jesus juice, please.
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
pilbeam is so stuffy and out of touch that he probably cannot stand the thought of someone else having fun when he has been unable to for his entire life.
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:54 pm
I have nothing to say that doesn’t say itself.
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Oh boo hoo, poor Harvard babies won’t have their parties paid for them any more. No more congac?! The HORROR!! Now they’ll have to pool their money for cases of PBR or raid alumni parties for bottles of liquor like the rest of us. Say it aint so!!
October 4th, 2007 at 12:46 am
corpulentbastard, you’ve been here? as a tourist, i guess. 6 suicides a year? where did you get that from? if you have nothing to say, shut up instead of lying.
October 4th, 2007 at 6:44 am
This on top of all of the decent watering holes in Harvard Square being shuttered over the past decade (Rest in Peace Bow & Arrow, Crimson Grille) Harvard is becoming a very dull place.
October 4th, 2007 at 7:35 am
For God’s sake, please remove these smiley ads! With all those stupid sounds, they are completely NSFW - but if I don’t read IvyGate at work, what else am I supposed to do?
October 4th, 2007 at 9:54 am
we are working on an advertising redesign. smileys will hopefully be gone in a couple of weeks.
October 4th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Do you guys even read your comments? That’s still the wrong photo…
October 4th, 2007 at 11:34 am
@mk: A lot of those fees are paid by finaid or parents (which makes the beer taste better). Now poor students will use more of their limited cash for booze - or drink less with well-to-do classmates. I’m surprised students are OK with that.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
I wish Dean Gross stayed…
I’ve seen him in the yard on numerous occasions this year. He would never have done this…
October 7th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
h’09:
No, as a grad student. And with two siblings in undergrad, who complain about the social life. The 6 deaths a year statistic comes from a friend of mine who was an RA who had to deal with issues like this (she also testified in an undergrad rape case). You may make whatever assertions you like about grad students. . .but the undergrad 6 deaths a year statistic is accurate. MIT’s is the same. Compare to like, one a year at Stanford. Obviously, suicide rates are not something Harvard wants to publish. Go freaking figure. Check your records, and get back to me, ‘09.
October 10th, 2007 at 5:56 am
Harvard (undergrad) doesn’t even have RAs. Your statistic about 6 deaths per year is total and utter crap.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Yeah. That’s definitely not Pilbeam. Sloppy.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Grad RA (they’re called Proctor or something in undergrad, right?). They do have them! The case she testified in involved a grad student and an undergrad. The undergrad became suicidal (I probably shouldn’t be disclosing this much as I was asked not to). . .anyway, long story short, I’d be happy to be disproved by someone in the peer advising system or someone dealing with psych issues at Harvard. It’s not like I want people to die! Just, from personal experience, Harvard only seems like a marginally happier place than MIT. And then perhaps even not so much.