September 28, 2007

Despite the fact that we spend hours and hours obsessively scanning obscure publications like Inside Higher Education and painfully low-quality dailies like The Daily Princetonian for any mention of the Ivy League which could supply us with a post, no matter how tenuous or irrelevant (thanks, Chris and Nick -- you guys are the best), somehow we missed this incredible article which ran in the WSJ about a month ago.

The WSJ dispatched their spirits critic (yes, the WSJ has a spirits critic) to write a column on drinks named after schools from the Ivy League. The result is a cool, complex mix of colorful reportage and incisive comment that goes down easy yet leaves one shaken. The author begins with a story surely familiar in one form or another to many denizens of the LES:

The bartender knew the times were changing when some Ivy League toffs wandered in: "You'll think I'm kidding," the saloon-keeper told Delaplane, "but I got an order couple nights for a Yale Cocktail!"

Yale wasn't the only Ivy with a cocktail to its name. Depending on the Bartender's Guide the saloon-keeper bought, he likely would also have found cocktail recipes immortalizing Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia and Brown (Dartmouth and the University of Pennsylvania seem to have missed out when the collegiate cocktails were being named). Sadly, these drinks have been all but forgotten, and in the rare instance where one persists -- the Yale -- the cocktail has become a parody of its former self."

Imagine that: Yale a parody of itself. The problem with the Yale Cocktail, opines the author in vaguely racist undertones, is that its once signature constituent, Crème Yvette, an exotic, expensive European liqueur "flavored with violet petals, vanilla, and spices," has been replaced by blue curacao. The Yale Cocktail has lost its "subtle taste and elegant dignity (a status impossible for any drink that relies on blue curaçao)." Yeah, we know what you really mean.

The author writes of the Harvard Cocktail, "It is as delicious as it is aristocratic," and he calls the Princeton Cocktail,"one of the most appalling concoctions ever devised." Cornell gets mentioned a couple times in parentheses.

After the jump -- the full article.

Continue reading "Tasty-Ass Drinks of the Ivy League" »

September 28, 2007 8:37 PM by Hal Parker | | Comments (17) | Read more: Cornell , Harvard , Ivy League , Princeton , Yale , wsj

ANTM episode 2 opens with Yale '09 Victoria Marshman. Tyra Banks voices over: "This season we have a Yale student with brains and beauty." Hunchback computer-programmer Heather has been branded as "stunning beauty struggling with a disability," assuaging my premiere-episode fear that she would be a threat to Tory’s status as Token Smart Girl. Since molestation victim Marvita was eliminated in prelims, six-year foster care veteran Lisa takes over the hard-knock role: "I’ve seen every kind of hurt." Plus, she’s an exotic dancer with a heart of gold, which is so Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Instant underdog status!

The girls arrive in LA and Mr. J announces the season's theme: environmentalism. Yawn. The girls board a biodiesel bus pimped out with grass and other weird outdoor shit. "Weird outdoor shit" must be the design-world companion to "environmentalism" because the mansion is decorated that way, too, with shrubbery and strange plants creeping from every corner. Of course, the real theme of every ANTM cycle is "Tyra Banks," and blown-up images of the Amazonian host's airbrushed, pore-free face plaster virtually every flat surface. We move to the bedroom and discover that the girls will be sleeping in ONE BIG ROOM this year.  Budget issues?  Or a dastardly plot to induce lights-out melodrama and scantily-clad pillow fights?

After the jump -- take a wild fucking guess. 

Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: Episode 2" »

September 28, 2007 4:46 PM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (6) | Read more: Yale , america's next top model , reality tv,

Hal, Jacob and I have written about Brown twice in the four weeks we've been editors, and since the one I did was bullshit, it's really like 1.3. It's nothing against Brown per se; more that our curriculum-less brethren run a quiet academy free from the whorish distractions of, say, Columbia. Surely this appealed to Reade Seligmann.

But if schools aren't going to make news, we do offer a subchannel of coverage for which they might qualify once they've proven that news never will happen. Consider it IvyGate's Medicaid, or like when NFL teams are so bad that they throw their last regular season game to get the first draft pick.

We're writing about Brown today because a skunk is dominating its campus. Not Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, not the Democratic presidential candidates, but a skunk. No sarcasm, it's article of the week. More after the jump.

Continue reading "See, Brown? All It Took Was a Skunk!" »

September 28, 2007 3:28 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (3) | Read more: Brown , skunk

princeton cjlWe’ve stumbled across a Hillel staffer’s guide to Princeton’s eating clubs. It’s touching in its banality; it’s the view of an outsider pretending she's in, though it’s pretty clear just how out she is (full disclosure: I was in Ivy; Hal's in Terrace).

Despite its blatant over-generalizations and reliance on hearsay and stereotypes, the guide is a testament to just how far Jews – and Princeton – have come. I can only imagine what this guide would have looked like 50 years ago: “Don’t even bother.”

Here’s the guide’s un-charming, extraordinarily exaggerated, David Brooks-inspired intro:
“Princeton is a work hard/play hard school. Thursday and Saturday nights are party nights at Princeton on the Street. Friday nights are quieter. A typical weekend works like this: Finish class on Thursday and study until it’s time to go out to the street (11pm or so), stay out all night, sleep and go to class on Friday. Work all day Friday and Friday night, and all day Saturday. Do the Street thing again on Saturday night and work all day Sunday. Only at Princeton do you have structured playtime. It’s as if students can’t have fun at other times and must be out drinking on those nights.”
After the jump: the descriptions of the clubs in full.

Continue reading "A Jewish Guide to the Eating Clubs" »

September 28, 2007 1:20 PM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (9) | Read more: Princeton , clubs , eating , jews

Last Monday, we posted an invitation to "The Masquerade," a formal Yale party which sought the company of an elite group of freshmen. Directives to meet at "NINE THIRTY POST MERIDIEM" and to "TELL NO ONE AND DO NOT BE LATE" usually signify a hoax, but this was at Yale, one of the one places in the world that such pretentious secrecy can be taken in earnest.

As our commenters noted, however, "The Masquerade" was a prank -- an annual one to boot. Certain freshmen Casper-aspirants -- as determined by Facebook pretentiousness -- would show only to find an upperclassmen society called the Pundits getting nakey-like. But this year, according to a source, very few went due to an anonymous e-mail dispersed to freshmen warning them of the Pundits' penisy intentions.

The Pundits planned another of their usual pranks for Wednesday night, this one involving a cappella recruits (hate them so much...) and their stupid Tap Night. The invitation read as follows:

"Your musical talent has come to the attention of a very select group of singers. You are poised to join the ranks of the best musicians to pass through Yale's gates. Congratulations. Please be at the Nathan hale statue on old campus promptly at 10 pm. Be in formal dress. All the singing groups will be notified of your location, to ensure that you will be tapped by the group of your choice. Tonight will be an evening to remember. Ad Harmoniam Perpetuandam, TTS [Top Tap Society]"

The same anonymous informer of "The Masquerade" e-mailed freshmen about the Pundits plans again:

"They will take you to some hard-to-find location and give you food and drink.  Meanwhile, they will play pranks on the singing group(s) that wish to tap you."

Ooooh! Does this mean they surgically remove each of their larynxes? Where can I sign up??

Hmmph. What should we make of this anonymous informer -- is he a hero, a buzzkill or just a Pundits reject? Or better yet, a Pundits mole...

After the jump, the anonymous informer's latest e-mail to stupid a cappella wannabes.

Continue reading "Anonymous Eli Continues Quest to Destroy Pranks" »

September 28, 2007 12:13 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (6) | Read more: Yale , a cappella , anonymous informer

September 28, 2007 9:32 AM by Jim Newell | | Comments (4) | Read more: RagTime , Yale Daily News

September 27, 2007

Here's Dartmouth columnist Daniel Belkin's assessment of the 907th '08 Democratic presidential debate held last night in Hanover. IvyGate dedicates this two-part series to keggy.

With the start of classes yesterday here at the College, the newly-minted members of the Class of 2011 were flabbergasted at the bizarre world that lay just outside their dorm room windows. For a fleeting 24 hours, the Big Green was transformed from the tranquil academy depicted in admissions brochures to the wretched hell of presidential politics and media feeding frenzies, replete with activists, politicos and wonks. Not sure which is better.

Continue reading "The Dartmouth Debate: I'm Gonna Go Sleepers" »

September 27, 2007 3:58 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (7) | Read more: Dartmouth , chris matthews , daniel belkin , democrats , keggy , presidential race

 

So apparently U.S. News & World Report has thrown in the towel when it comes to reporting news items that AREN'T gimmicky lists of colleges generated from statistical trivia. Following the lead of such pioneers of capitalism as Blackula and Black Caesar, U.S. News & World Report is proud to present America with another overhyped, arbitrary list: "America's Best Black Colleges."

According to the press release, this list "closely resembles that of of U.S.News & World Report's annual "America's Best Colleges" rankings." No shit -- you could almost say it's the exact same thing, just tailored to a specific minority in order to make more money.

Here are the top five colleges:

1.  Spelman College (Atlanta, GA)

2.  Howard University (Washington, DC)

3.  Hampton University (Hampton, VA)

4.  Morehouse College (Atlanta, GA)

5.  Fisk University (Nashville, TN)

I guess Howard University, 1st in prestige but 2nd in thist list, really is the "black Harvard." We are eagerly awaiting the list of America's best Jewish colleges.

After the jump -- IvyGate selflessly, courageously violates yet another USN&WR "embargo" (you guys might want to stop sending us these, btw).

Continue reading "Is Spelman the Black Princeton?" »

September 27, 2007 2:20 PM by Hal Parker | | Comments (11) | Read more: rankings

Accidentally sent out to all of Princeton's ECO 100:

uwe reinhardtDearest Prof Reinhardt,

I'm your fan from ECO 100! I heard you're going on OPRAH some time soon~ if you're not too busy, perhaps you can inform me of the time it's gonna be on air so that I can catch the show? Also, can I know if I can invite you for a meal, *like*, a date, in the hope that you would be glad to advise me on major stuffs? Feel free to reject me though.. understand you're busy prof! Thanks for your time~ and err, I hope you haven't been offended by the way I've written my email. I thought I need to devise a cool way to talk to cool professors.

Regards,

[name redacted]

September 27, 2007 11:40 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (41) | Read more:

cornell sun

The Cornell Sun, arbiter of Fine Journalism, subject of famous documentaries, and in the words of one of its former editors, “one of the best newspapers in the Ivy League” (i.e. “better than the Daily Princetonian”), has a bit of a paraphrasing problem: the September 25 issue contained two articles directly cribbed from Inside Higher Education.

On August 31, Inside Higher Education featured an article entitled “Jon Stewart, Oral Exams and More,” about new, “innovative” ways that a certain Professor Ryan Lee Teten has reached his students.

In a September 25 article, “Jon Stewart Book Aids Professors: Students find comedy increases interest in government,” the Sun relates more or less the exact same story about new, “innovative” ways a certain Professor Ryan Lee Teten has reached his students.

IHE: “He also wanted to consider whether the book would provide a good introduction to the key topics an intro course should cover, and whether it would encourage critical thinking.”
SUN: “He felt it offered a solid introduction to American government and encouraged critical thinking.”
IHE: “If you compare the table of contents of America the Book with those of traditional texts, Teten noted that they cover much of the same ground, with chapters on the presidency, Congress, the courts, the media, the world outside the United States, and so forth.”
SUN: “In comparing the content of America to standard introductory political science texts, Teten noticed that much of the same material was covered, such as the presidency, Congress and foreign policy."
IHE: “First, he said that a review he did of America the Book convinced him that it was 90 percent true, with the rest satire.”
SUN: “Teten said that his research on the book indicated that 90 percent of the content was factual and that the remaining 10 percent was satirical.”

After the jump: more of the Sun’s creepy journalistic practice of paraphrasing and localizing boring stories from Inside Higher Education.

Continue reading "The Cornell Sun's Paraphrasing Problem" »

September 27, 2007 9:48 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (21) | Read more: Cornell , paraphrasing , sun

September 27, 2007 8:13 AM by Jim Newell | | Comments (1) | Read more: RagTime , debate

September 26, 2007

Hal, Jacob and I can't empathize with the standard Ivy League Gordon-Gecko-wannabe, but we want one. Badly.

Wharton, Tuck, eponymouses and other Ivy dens of sin: please share your evil with us.

After the jump, find out how you can apply to be IvyGate's Business Manager.

Continue reading "IvyGate Seeks Business Manager of Vile Disposition" »

September 26, 2007 8:42 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (5) | Read more: being confused by numbers , business manager , evil , mr. burns

 
According to statistics I just made up, but which are probably true, almost %65 of Ivy League graduates go on to work in the financial services industry. At many Ivies September and October degenerate into grim rituals of greed and acquisition on behalf of both students and recruiters. Here are some unintenionally hilarious recruiting materials I found on the floor in Princeton's library.

After the jump -- "12:00 p.m. Lunch with a referral at her private club. She's wearing a velvet headband and pearls. I gear myself up for a very polite tutorial."

Continue reading "A Glimpse Into Your Future" »

September 26, 2007 12:56 PM by Hal Parker | | Comments (10) | Read more: Ivy League , jp morgan chase , wall street

We dispatched Daniel Belkin, Dartmouth senior and opinion columnist for the Dartmouth to give us a rundown on the school's furious preparations for tonight's debate. Stay tuned for his report on the event itself.

The mean streets of Hanover, New Hampshire seldom produce headlines that garner the attention of the world outside the confines of the White Mountains. Stories that chronicle squirrel infestations or scandals at the local Chinese restaurant (personally and affectionately deemed “Pandagate”) are the ones that paint the broadsheets and tabloids of the Upper Valley of New Hampshire. But all that ends for at least today.

The gang of loveable losers vying for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination are rolling into Dartmouth for a nationally-televised debate as the eight aspiring chief executives continue their horserace to inherit the utter and complete mess that President Bush has left his screwed successor. Both MSNBC and New England Cable News are co-sponsoring the much anticipated verbal jousting match, airing live Wednesday night from 9pm to 11pm. And despite being in notoriously frigid New Hampshire, no disgruntled snowmen will be grilling the candidates — à la the infamous YouTube/CNN debate. MSNBC has called in the big guns of political journalism to referee the bout: Tim Russert, the moderator of NBC’s Sunday morning staple Meet the Press. Suck on that, Anderson Cooper.

After the jump: The awful truth about Dennis Kucinich.

Continue reading "Fear and Loathing In Hanover" »

September 26, 2007 11:12 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (8) | Read more: Dartmouth , debate

September 26, 2007 10:31 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (6) | Read more: RagTime

Sighted: Beauty & the Geek star Joshua Green at Princeton University's D-Bar ("Debasement Bar," in de basement of de graduate college here, remember? B&G brought their camera crew there to recruit last year). The 5'5" Joshua wore yellow shirt unbuttoned at the neck, damp black chest hair mussed across his pallid chest. His dance-move of choice is a lateral jumping movement paired with upraised arms and pumping fists.

I cornered Joshua and demanded an impromptu photo shoot (more pictures after jump). Sadly, the CW keeps its reality slaves on a strict gag order; I failed to get any details juicier than those his stock-quote-chocked Daily Princetonian profile. Penn '06 Will Frank got some press, too, in the Daily Pennsylvanian. Where is he these days, anyway? Anybody have sightings?

But enough rumormill foreplay. Let’s get down and dirty with this week’s episode, after the jump.

Continue reading "Beauty & the Geek: Episode 2" »

September 26, 2007 12:16 AM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (7) | Read more: Beauty and the Geek, , Daily Pennsylvanian, , Daily Princetonian, , Penn , Princeton , reality tv

September 25, 2007

No, but seriously, enough with this schlemiel. To conclude our coverage of Ahmadinejad's visit to Columbia, here's Columbia miscreant J.D. Porter again with a roundup of the reactions in the news and on campus. Hopefully Lee Bollinger won't take offense at one of J.D.'s statements and yell at him, but that's his problem.

Of all the media covering the Ahmadinejad speech, Fox News was the most impressive. After a week decrying Columbia as maniacal liberals supporting a dictator, a weaker network might not have known how to report on an orderly hour spent ridiculing him. In classic form, however, Fox simply elected to report on their own fictional version of the event.

More of J.D.'s trenchant commentary and edgy photography after the jump.

Continue reading "IvyGate's Last Coverage of Iran... For Now?" »

September 25, 2007 1:59 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (8) | Read more: Columbia , ahmadinejad , bwog , fox news , j.d. porter , new york times , spectator

What’s the deal, Danish Commenters?

First, a disclaimer: we love inquisitive Europeans. A bemused Danish correspondent, whose real name – no, we’re not joking – is Claus Christensen, has written in:

“Here in Denmark we read about the case in newspapers – and then we laugh! Come on – why turn this into a headline-scandal?? Alright, had he distributed the recorded sex – then that would be an offense. But turning on the webcam, sharing it with a couple of friends – that’s just plain stupid.”

The consensus in Denmark: no porn distribution via the internets, no foul. Interesting, though we’re not sure we agree.

After the jump: we unreservedly endorse Claus’ brilliant suggestion.

Continue reading "A Word to Our Danish Readers" »

September 25, 2007 8:30 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (12) | Read more: Yale , casper desfeux , denmark

From the Cornell op/ed:

P.S. A personal note to Rob Fishman ’08 — I stand proud with your other “Sex-Crazed Sunnettes” in discussing issues of this nature which need to be discussed; issues which I don’t see you, or the male columnists, bringing up of your own accord, but rather sporadically criticizing without foundation.

Anyone know what this is about? Some kind of cross-column fight?

September 25, 2007 4:50 AM by Hal Parker | | Comments (7) | Read more: RagTime

September 24, 2007


IvyGate dispatched Fernanda Diaz, Columbia undergrad, former Spec columnist, and current deputy opinion editor, to follow in the illustrious footsteps of J.D. Porter. Her report of Ahmadinehad's rambling speech -- from within the belly of the beast -- is below. See also the award-winning (in our heads, at least) coverage at Bwog and the Spec's Ahmadineblog. Well done to you both, kind sirs.

Maybe it was the presence of Secret Service agents roaming the aisles, or the baffling smirk on President Ahmadinejad’s face as he listened to President Bollinger recount his achievements in human rights abuse and Holocaust-denying, or maybe it was just the fact that we all wanted to seem cool and over it before it even began, but today’s Ahmadinejad-at-Columbia extravaganza was nowhere near as tense, shocking, nor revolting as it was supposed to have been. For the most part, it was actually pretty hilarious.

Structured like the Ivy League version of a boxing match, in which Columbia President Lee Bollinger, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and SIPA Dean John Coatsworth were given an allotted time to throw their punches before a bell literally rang and allowed the other to fight back, the culmination of the whole affair was entertainingly unreal.

Continue reading "Ahmadinejad II: The Aftermath" »

September 24, 2007 4:41 PM by Hal Parker | | Comments (5) | Read more: Columbia , ahmadinejad , spectator


 

IvyGate dispatched Columbia undergrad and Spectator columnist J.D. Porter to weigh in on the hype surrounding Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's visit to the school. The Iranian Prez's event began at 1:30, and we'll have a recap coming later this afternoon. Someone instigate some mob violence out there! The media world is waiting. Just no one get hurt. OK, I'll shutup... here's J.D., with his own photos, from around noon:

Ahmadinejad fever took its time heating up today, but it looks like it's finally starting to spread, much like the deadlier literal fevers. Although event organizers scheduled the madness to begin at 11:00, the crowd only really began to swell around noon. Low Plaza, the main site of the student protests, went from almost empty to packed in about twenty minutes. The numbers don’t look anywhere near the estimated 10,000 protesters, but the main action is supposed to get under way closer to one, with some protesters supposedly busing in.

More words and pictures, after the jump.

Continue reading "A Last Look at Antebellum Columbia (UPDATED)" »

September 24, 2007 1:21 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (11) | Read more: Columbia , ahmadinejad , j.d. porter , spectator

Chris and Nick will be "available" today at noon on the WashPo's website to discuss their scintillating op/ed in Sunday's edition of that paper, which we definitely did not skim. Hurry and submit awkward/uncomfortable questions for them to answer. Make them work for it.

UPDATED: The session is now concluded. Here was my favorite exchange:

Sanaa, Yemen: Hi guys. Love the blog!

I was considering applying to some of America's Ivy League universities (once my visa comes through, Insha'Allah!), but your column is causing me to reconsider. Basically, I'm looking for strong academics, and the opportunities for some new experiences.

My question: Among America's best academies, where is your column least true?

Nick Summers: Hi, thanks! Good luck with your visa. I would apply to Wellesley and major in anything other than studio arts.

After the jump -- Insha'Allah! -- the full transcript. 

Continue reading "Sex Blogging Beam Summers" »

September 24, 2007 10:13 AM by Hal Parker | | Comments (3) | Read more: chris beam , nick summers , washington post

September 24, 2007 9:39 AM by Jim Newell | | Comments (3) | Read more: Columbia , RagTime , ahmadinejad , bwog , spectator

September 23, 2007

     

According to the Spec's newly minted "Ahmadineblog" -- we'd take more time to make fun of that, but too much stuff at the moment -- up to 10,000 protesters are expected tomorrow at Columbia's Low Plaza in response to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's speaking engagement.

Things are getting nasty on all sides, and the New York City Council has anted up its pressure on the school. After requesting that President Lee Bollinger rescind the Iranian President's invitation, City Councilman David Weprin asks "that the Board of Trustees of Columbia University intervene and force President Bollinger to rescind the invitation."

The Bwog and Spec staffs will be freaking the fuck out all day tomorrow (love you guys), and Spec's website may or may not work. We'll have some posts of our own, too, with reporting from Columbia students. 

After the jump, some ominous photos from the night before. Thanks to Columbia's J.D. Porter for these shots, and he'll be back midday tomorrow for a pre-lecture post. This means fuck Nick and Chris' talky thing.

Continue reading "Columbia To Be Fucked Tomorrow" »

September 23, 2007 8:20 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (40) | Read more: Columbia , ahmadinejad , lee bollinger

Let's cut to the chase. After the jump: IvyGate editors emeriti Nick Summers' and Chris Beam's feature, "College Sex: Going Home Alone," from today's Washington Post. It's mostly about Hot Pockets.

No new pictures of Casper at the moment. Sorry to the lady and gay men commenters.

Continue reading "Nick and Chris Go Home... Together?" »

September 23, 2007 1:04 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (11) | Read more: Sex , casper desefeux , chris beam , nick summers , superbad , tom wolfe , washington post

September 21, 2007

Prime your Google Readers:

                    

For this Sunday's Washington Post, IvyGate founders/editors emeriti/slavedrivers Nick Summers and Chris Beam have penned an op-ed both wistful and erotic. As the screen grab shows, we've got a title confirmed, "Going Home Alone," but the tracklist has yet to leak. It will appear in the Post's Outlook section -- the poor man's Week In Review -- awkwardly near George Will's weekly socio-political history lesson. Then they'll discuss the article in a washingtonpost.com session Monday at noon ET. All this is to say that by Monday around 1 p.m., we'll know Nick and Chris' sexual histories very well.

Check into IvyGate Sunday for the official op-ed reception. This means we'll sloppily post the op-ed, and Nick and Chris probably won't answer your questions. Instead they'll sit back and watch as commenters somehow start debating whether Barnard is part of Columbia within half an hour. "Well tut tut and fiddle-dee-fum," they'll muse, a bittersweet raspiness cloaking their aged voices. "How we do miss the commenters at IvyGate."

And if that's not enough, we'll try to post more hot pictures of Casper (by popular demand) with Nick and Chris' op-ed. Nothing has ever been as important as this upcoming blockbuster post. Eh, maybe this.

September 21, 2007 9:12 PM by Jim Newell | | Comments (1) | Read more: aleksey vayner , casper desfeux , chris beam , nick summers , washington post

Back on the island of Manhattan, Ahmadinejad-gate rolls on.  Columbia president Lee Bollinger sat down with 50-odd student leaders yesterday to discuss his decision to allow Iran's resident bad boy, Holocaust-denier, alleged international kidnapper and suspected terrorist-enabler President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on hallowed university grounds.  Present at Bollinger's heart-to-heart were representatives from the College Republicans, Hillel, Iranian Students Association, Sikh Association, the Law school, B-school, J-school, and the Spectator (which, despite presence at said event, still managed to have suckier coverage than the Bwog). Apparently some Iranian chick cried, and two politicians have joined the anti-A-Jad fray:

Presidential candidate and U.S. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., whose daughter graduated from Columbia last year, denounced the University for inviting Ahmadinejad. "A man who is directing the maiming and killing of Americans troops should not be given an invitation to speak at an American university," he said in a statement.

City Council Speaker Christine Quinn issued a similar denunciation. "The idea of Ahmadinejad as an honored guest anywhere in our city is offensive to all New Yorkers," she said in a statement. "He can say whatever he wants on any street corner, but should not be given center stage at one of New York’s most prestigious centers of higher education."

Today's New York Post features a column by neo-con John Podhohertz entitled "A Terrorist For Tea" in which J-Pod imagines a conversation between Bollinger and Ahmadinejad. PrezBo talks about hurt Jewish feelings and A-Jad talks about how much he loves American liberals because they are actually terrorists, just like him. J-Pod is extra-qualified to comment on the dangers of mass murder, genocide, and racism because his dad, Norman Podhohertz, wants to nuke Iran and penned a clever little ditty called "My Negro Problem" in Commentary magazine in 1963. Always ahead of the curve, those Podhohertzes.

September 21, 2007 1:21 PM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (13) | Read more: Columbia , Iran , Lee Bollinger, , ahmadinejad

Settling in to view the much-anticipated premiere of America's Next Top Model cycle 9 (featuring Yale '09 Victoria Marshman), I went to pre-pop my popcorn to avoid the snack-induced tardiness of yesterday's Beauty & the Geek premiere recap. But the co-op down the hall was locked!  The communalist chefs of Brown Hall must be on to my appliance-abusing ways. Maybe because I write about it on the internet.

ANTM cycle 9 begins with a bang: The girls are going to the Caribbean! Requisite shots of screaming girls with tears of joy streaming down their faces, then cut to sunny San Juan and a busload of skinny chicks, faces wrapped in black satin eyemasks. Is ANTM going SM this year? They disembark and Miss J. Alexander, Tyra Banks' gender-bending black male runway coach, is wearing sailor whites. Surprise! The semi-final cut will occur on a cruise boat!  The girls freak out; apparently they don’t realize that cruise boats are less Titanic more shuffle-board and all-you-can-eat-buffet these days. Boats are so 20th century.

Continue reading "America's Next Top Model: The Season Premiere" »

September 21, 2007 10:48 AM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (24) | Read more: Yale , america's next top model , reality tv

From our inbox:

On last Sunday evening, the Yale Society for the Exploration of Campus Secrets (YSECS) held a meeting for freshman recruits.  Basically, they promised that all YSECS members are actively recruited for the CIA.  For the past week, tons of freshman have been aimlessly wandering Sterling library in search of a secret room where supposedly professors would go to hide from their students (freshman were told of this room at the meeting and told that if they found it or other hidden places, they could be tapped for ysecs).  A group of four freshman (1 girl and 3 boys) were told the location and wandered into the room.  The room is actually on top of the L & B Reading Room in Sterling Library.  At 9:45 Thursday evening, they were crawling in the room and broke through the ceiling of the reading room sending large chunks of plaster to the ground, within a packed room of studying students.  They came down and then stood around gaping at their hole in the ceiling.  A Yale security walked in and they quickly left.  A student studying and observing this whole escapade ratted them out.  New Haven police were then seen interrogating them outside Sterling Library.  There are rumors circulating Yale campus of them being sent to the ex-comm.

Eh, who cares. We've seen this before in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Pictures of the alleged damage after the jump.

Continue reading "Oh, Yale" »

September 21, 2007 8:07 AM by Jim Newell | | Comments (11) | Read more: Yale , freshmen , libraries

September 20, 2007

September 20, 2007 6:06 PM by Hal Parker | | Comment | Read more: RagTime

Casper Desfeux, the Great Dane of Davenport, never got a chance to email his sex video to anyone. As an AP story recounts, wretched technical difficulties got in the way:

Desfeux told Yale police he never sent the video to anyone because, at 45 minutes, it was too lengthy to process. He also said he did not make any still photos from it.

Those Danes can go! We assume the Yale cops all slowly nodded their head and said "45 minutes? Nicccccce."

After the jump, more details from the silly arrest warrant affadavit. And silly lawyers.

Continue reading "Yale Sex Tape Clocks in at a Whopping 45 Minutes!" »

September 20, 2007 5:12 PM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (25) | Read more: Yale , casper desfeux

As IvyGate's Resident Jew, it's fallen upon me to write about President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's--Iran's Resident Anti-Semite--planned September 24 visit to Columbia.

The cameras, the protesters (this time right wing!), and the Iranian nutjob are all descending on Columbia like it's May 1968. The Spec's site is so deluged with traffic that it's not even working anymore (granted, this happens every few days). Read the Bwog's intense coverage here. 

After the jump: various reactions to the beige-suited madman's upcoming visit.

Continue reading "Columbia's Iranian Crisis: Day 2" »

September 20, 2007 2:38 PM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (24) | Read more: Columbia , Iran , jacob being jewish , lee bollinger

As they await further word on *allegedly* libidinous Admissions Dean Lee Stetson's departure, the playful scribes at the Daily Pennsylvanian are venturing into more frivolous subject matters. Yesterday's edition featured an unusually long feature about shitfaced freshmen pissing on one of the school's 432,542 Benjamin Franklin memorials (right). It's a little bit amazing.

Erotic peeing after the jump.

Continue reading "Penn Students Pee on a Sculpture" »

September 20, 2007 11:30 AM by Jim Newell | | Comments (17) | Read more: Penn , franklin , freshmen , peeing

The Beauty & the Geek premiere opens with a little hot girl-on-girl action, and geeks in a rocket ship of their own invention, hurtling through outerspace, pointy Spock ears glued to every orifice!  Okay, you got me, I missed the beginning because I was busy breaking into the co-op down the hall to make popcorn.  But given the Ashton Kutcher-invented show’s schtick – nine hot bimbos paired with nine brainy geeks for a crash lesson at how the other half lives and a shot at a $250,000 cash prize – I can’t be that far off.

Cut to host Mike Richards introducing the contestants to their first challenge: A get-to-know-you talent show, ostensibly to help the Bs and Gs picks partners for the show.  The geeks are nervous because they will be forced to make eye contact with hot chicks. The hot chicks pretend to be nervous, but since they’re all aspiring actress/model/soft-core-porn-stars, they’re actually pretty jazzed.

After the jump: an obsessive recap of a television show merely because two of its stars happen to be Ivy Leaguers? Welcome to IvyGate.

Continue reading "Beauty & the Geek: The Season Premiere" »

September 20, 2007 3:45 AM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (8) | Read more: Beauty and the Geek , Penn , Princeton , reality tv

September 19, 2007

Readers, you were right: sometimes in our haste we overlook an eminently postworthy story and delegate it to RagTime's one-liner status. Yale sophomore Casper Desfeux, 20, was arrested last week for allegedly filming himself having sex with a girl without her permission. Of course, a sex tape is nothing to keep private, so Casper apparently showed it to others. At some point, we're guessing, the girl found out. Even better? Casper's Danish, i.e. creepily European. His lawyer calls the whole thing a "misunderstanding."

After the jump: More douchey revelations that we strongly recommend you see. Just look at that picture!

Continue reading "Yale Sex Scandal: Meet the Worst Eli Since Whatsisname" »

September 19, 2007 1:33 PM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (64) | Read more: Yale , aleksey vayner 2.0 , casper desfeux

A bit more on the (latest pathetic) Penn crime wave: "Though the juveniles fled, Penn Police were able to apprehend two 11-year-olds a short distance from the scene of the robbery." Penn Police: Cleaning up West Philly one surly fifth-grader at a time.

September 19, 2007 11:28 AM by Jacob Savage | | Comments (3) | Read more: RagTime

02138, which won the Pulitzer Prize last year for intrepid journalism in the Field of Writing About Harvard, has just released its second annual list of Harvard's 100 most influential alumni. Can you name all twelve women? (Hint: don't forget Benazir Bhutto.)

Like all lists of this sort, it comes packaged with a poorly edited preface full of stilted phrases ("in the catbrid seat"), inane platitudes ("With so much at stake in the coming year, there's a lot to influence"), and a groping desperation to say something meaningful about what is basically a self-satisfied exercise in name-dropping ("The Supreme Court has shifted ideologically, and the struggle for creating and undoing precedents is fierce.")

The usual suspects are to be found on the list -- financiers (Lloyd Blankfein, Stephen Schwartzman, Henry Paulson), media-barons (Jared Kushner, Mortimer Zuckerman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker), like a million politicians, and pretty much the entire Supreme Court. And there are a few Harvard is probably not so thrilled about (George Bush, Alberto Gonzales).

Other choices are just baffling -- Frank Rich, really? B.J. Novak? And didn't Bill Gates drop out? But most of all, is Al Gore in fact the most influential Harvard grad today? There's just something sad about that. Discuss amongst yourselves.

After the jump: the list in full.

Continue reading "A Hundred Points of Light" »

September 19, 2007 10:27 AM by Hal Parker | | Comments (7) | Read more: 02138 , Harvard , alumni

"Beauty and the Geek," the CW’s most reliable source for social schadenfreude and the only place on television where you can ogle fake titties and test your knowledge of Star Wars allusions, features two Ivy dweeblets this season: Penn '06 Will Frank and Princeton astrophysics grad student Joshua Green.

Though Will's comp sci geek-cred is nothing to sneer at, neither he nor any of the other geeks hold a candle to the unadultered nerditude of Joshua, a stoop-shouldered fan of type 2 quasars whose physical presence is that of a pale, curled fetus.

"He’s not even real," muses beauty queen Shalandra during a talent segment in which Joshua’s talent consisted of calling his mother and getting her to talk her baby up on speaker phone. While I have suspicions about some of the contestants' genuineness (example: Josh's bio features a reasonably shapely bicep, clear evidence that his loserhood is contrived, or--even worse--ironic), Joshua appears to be the real deal. Then again, it's hard to get an accurate read through the shade of his transitions lenses. With a penchant for squinting romantically into middle distances and folding his knobby limbs into pretzel-like contortions, Joshua alternates between baffling obliviousness and aww-worthy moments of dopey clarity, like when he speculates that the beauties' attention is "because they think I'm pathetic and need help... And I do."

Our covert GS operatives say Joshua, a fan of "jumping around to random beats," is available for public viewing most Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday nights at Princeton’s D-Bar. That’s "Debasement Bar" to the uninitiated. And yes, it is literally in de basement of de graduate college here.

Novices to celebrity, Will and Joshua’s Facebook profiles contained their phone numbers and home addresses at press time. Ladies, get your speed dials ready! Joshua’s profile contains links to his personal website, LiveJournal (where we learn that Mr. Green recently traded his calculator watch for a radio-calibrated Casio), and MySpace, which includes the following riddle:

I can think of four distinct letters with the property that, of their 24 permutations, six are normal English words.  Can you do the same?

GEEK!  NERD!  LOVE! I'm officially on Team Joshua.

This is the first entry of my Beauty & the Geek series, which will last as long as Will and Joshua stay on the show.

September 19, 2007 9:26 AM by Maureen O'Connor | | Comments (8) | Read more: Beauty and the Geek, , D-Bar, , Penn , Princeton , reality tv

Lena "I lowered my mouth over his cock and slid my lips over his shaft easily" Chen, the genius behind Sex and the Ivy, recently wrote us an indignant email, claiming that we "scooped" her without linking to her blog:

Saw that your full text of the Craigslist ad has the same omission "No Black, Asian, overweight, or unattractive women please" as my original blog entry (accidentally deleted "black" when I was editing). For future reference, I'd appreciate it if you linked to my blog when you use it as a source. Thanks!"
In fact, we received the tip in our inbox, probably because we're a real blog. Gawker used the same text. 

This is the girl whose daily postings of utter banality include delicious "scoops" like these:

I just had a flashback. It wasn't until my mother delivered a lecture today on smoking, that I realized I watched "Thank You For Not Smoking" in its entirety last week while simultaneously getting high... In other news, I scored three packs of Turkish Golds for a cool $11.17. Hard to beat Cali bud or cigs when it comes to price (and definitely in terms of qualit