How to get Your Baby in the Ivy League (or Break Them Trying)
Everyone agrees there is nothing more obnoxious than a baby in a “Future Harvard Grad” onesie. Whether the kid has alumni parents or came from the Ivy League sperm bank on the corner, she’s not going to grow up normal.
Which is why this new trend of dragging siblings along to college orientations has us concerned. According to a recent Boston Globe article, at most schools the rugrats don’t even have to sit through lectures on Pell grants, academic advising, and “the role of the university in today’s world.” Instead, it’s all sorts of arts and crafts, science lab, birthday cake, moonbounce, pony ride fun.
That’s healthy. Hey, Jane! Not only have we expected you to go to Harvard since before you were conceived and your sister got in, but you also have delightful childhood memories of it being the funnest place in the world.
Now go work on your admissions essay.
–BETH MILTON
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July 29th, 2007 at 5:39 am
This bib will mostly be seen on Asian babies. What kind of soulless losers love Harvard that much?!
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/02/10/fbi.espionage/index.html
July 29th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
I was at this awful dinner party the other day and I was introduced to this kid, who was wearing one of those ‘Ha-vah-ad’ shirts. Since he was in high school, I congratulated him on his acceptance and he was like, “no, I haven’t applied yet. But I’m going to Stuyvesant…” It took every fiber of my being not to laugh in his face. He was white, rich, wasn’t doing any charity work–hadn’t even taken an SAT!
July 29th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I was at this awful dinner party the other day and I was introduced to this kid, who was wearing one of those ‘Ha-vah-ad’ shirts. Since he was in high school, I congratulated him on his acceptance and he was like, “no, I haven’t applied yet. But I’m going to Stuyvesant…” It took every fiber of my being not to laugh in his face. He was white, rich, wasn’t doing any charity work–hadn’t even taken an SAT!
July 29th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
cor08: Asians=soulless losers?
July 29th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Cor08: Please keep your mouth shut when you have something stupid to say. Every idiotic/racist comment you make reduces the value of my Cornell sheepskin. And no: referencing the Columbia Falun Gong brouhaha did not make your comment less offensive.
Now, regarding this bib: I understand that “Class of 20??” makes this appeal to multiple years of alums. But it also unintentionally raises another issue: Will those parents hold their kid back a year so he/she is older in kindergarten, does better on tests, and is more likely to get in to Stuy (and, thence, Harvard)?
“We’re not sure what year he’ll be there. We still haven’t decided if we want to wait a year before sending him to kindergarten.”
July 29th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
OK, Ezra, I’ll ignore the fact that that last part of your post made no sense. Nobody referenced the Columbia Falun Gong crap except for you (did you even see the link?) Most likely these “tour” groups (aka “casing groups”) are being financed by the Chinese communist government. It’s part of their culture to not question things like college/life, hence, “soulless” would apply.
@09yalie: Who the Hell said Asians=soulless losers? Where do you get this crap? Now that you mention it though, there ARE about 15 groups of 60+ black-haired Chinese students blindly moving about Harvard’s campus every day (you should see them taking pictures of random Harvard kids).
July 29th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
cor08 has a point. every time i see huge seas of black hair at princeton, i think “get a life.”
July 30th, 2007 at 1:28 am
Actually, the last bit of Ezra’s comment did make sense. More and more families are keeping their kids out of school an extra year so that the kid will be one of the oldest, and therefore more developed, students. They’ll master tasks faster, perform better than their classmates, and get better grades, thus boosting their chances of getting into Harvard or wherever.
There was a New York Times article on that topic in early June, you might need to be a member to read it: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/03/magazine/03kindergarten-t.html?ex=1185940800&en=46c238feead8ed43&ei=5070
July 30th, 2007 at 5:09 am
Poor parents have no idea that Harvard doesn’t give a shit about it’s students.
July 30th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I still can’t understand how people who did well enough in school to get into an Ivy League school don’t know when to use “its” versus “it’s”. It’s really not that hard. Jeez.
July 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Cor08: I thought your post regarding Asian spies was referencing the Falun Gong IGB blurb — since the link you posted was noted in the comments to that story. I’m sorry, I guess I gave you too much credit.
Thank you nacac for also reading a newspaper and understanding my point.
Finally: Cor08, are you sure all the “Chinese” students you see at Cornell are “casing the joint”? You might not know this, but ex-President Lee Teng Hui of Taiwan went to Cornell. And, for that reason alone, numerous Taiwanese tour groups come to Ithaca to see where one of their famous politicians was educated.
August 1st, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Yeah, there are a lot of Asians touring the Ivies, but there are even more white people.