Hands to Yourself, Adam

by Beth Milton | July 27, 2007 at 11:14 am

Hands to Yourself, Adam

Unlike Penn or Yale, Princeton Public Safety is having a monumentally slow summer crime-wise. That’s really the only explanation for the ultimate read-between-the-lines security bulletin they issued yesterday:

    The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members of an incident that took place in the Blair Hall courtyard on Tuesday, July 24, 2007, at approximately 10:30 p.m.

    A group of male juveniles were talking to several female Princeton University summer camper [sic.] attendees in the Blair Hall courtyard. During the conversation one of the male juveniles grabbed a body part of one of the female campers.

    The male juvenile was described as a white male, approximately 16 years of age, 5′ 5″, medium build, with short, blonde spiked hair. The male juvenile told the female camper that his name was “Adam.”

Sure, there’s a chance that something really nasty went down. But more likely, the police are actually investigating that sacred camp tradition: after-hours groping.

Remember, Princeton residents, if you see any 16-year-old boys eyeing your chest… oh, nevermind.

–BETHANY MILTON

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2 Responses to “Hands to Yourself, Adam”

  1. Comments -.-..-..-.-- Says:
    July 27th, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    Also be on the lookout for: Old lady that shoplifted a slice of bread; Janitor that illegally downloaded a copy of ‘I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry’; Old Enron exec moving wawa holdings to offshore accounts.

  2. Comments mill Says:
    July 28th, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    No need for the period after “sic”. Sucks to be that guy and get named, ouch.

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