Dartmouth Diversity VP Lays On the Sarcasm a Little Thick
“Hey, looks like one of our deans got blitzjacked (his email account got hacked, to normal people),” a reader at Dartmouth emailed us yesterday. One look at the attached message, and we had to agree:
Date: 14 May 2007 16:16:53 -0400
From: Stuart C. Lord
Subject: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
To: (Recipient list suppressed)MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
I have amazing news to report to the student body! In just a few months as the Interim Vice President for Institutional Diversity, I am delighted to report that the Campus climate is repaired and we have achieved a standard of excellence other schools only long to attain!
I know this because I had invited students to Campus Climate lunches, and out of the entire student body, only 20 (yes, just 20!!) students responded. I am certain this must be because we have accomplished complete diversity and harmony and almost no one thinks there are any discussions left to be carried on.
However, in the event you think there is still need for discussion, and still need for healing, I would invite you to sign up for one of the lunches. There is plenty of room. There is also probably plenty to discuss. Tomorrow Tuesday May 15 or Next Tuesday May 22, 2007.
Stuart
To RSVP respond to the email and say ___ Yes I will be at Lunch this Tuesday or Next Tuesday.
**************************************************
We Must Be The Change We Wish To See In The World
~Mahatma Gandhi
**************************************************Dr. Stuart Calvin Lord
Vice President for Institutional Diversity & Equity (Interim)
and the Virginia Rice Kelsey ‘61S
Dean of the Tucker Foundation
Associate Provost
The William Jewett Tucker Foundation
Dartmouth College
Has to be a “blitzjacking” stunt, right? No administrator would joke about diversity with a sarcasm sledgehammer like that — and certainly not a guy whose name is, terrifyingly, Dr. Vice President Dean Associate Provost Stuart Calvin Lord. And no one seriously has that Gandhi quote as their signature. We were all set to bemoan the continued devolution of the college prank into all-digital form when we got an update: Lord really had sent the message in question.
Date: 14 May 2007 23:43:20 -0400
From: Stuart C. Lord
Subject: Regarding Mission Accomplished
To: (Recipient list suppressed)The goal of the e-mail I sent earlier was to generate publicity and increase attendance at our campus climate luncheons. In addition, The Office of the Vice-President for Institutional Diversity values the hard work that many members of this community have devoted to raising awareness about issues of diversity. The purpose of the Campus Climate Lunches is to provide a forum [blah blah blah]…
Stuart
Ooooookay then, Stu. Our tipster gets the last word: “Sorry for the false tip. I guess I just never expected a college-appointed dean would be so flippant about a serious campus issue. … Evidently our vice-president for institutional diversity just thought diversity was a joke.”
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May 16th, 2007 at 12:31 am
Well, if the campus already is diverse, there has to be someone like him to help us remember that we hate everyone not ourselves and need to talk about it. Otherwise, you know, we students might just live with all the people around us instead of thinking “omg there’s a white one / omg there’s a chinese one / omg there’s a black one.” If he didn’t stir up racism, his diversity position wouldn’t need to exist…
May 16th, 2007 at 12:35 am
Humor, like free speech, is offensive to me. Therefore, we should ban it.
May 16th, 2007 at 1:10 am
I think his email is fabulous — since I’m imagining more than 20 people at Dartmouth have bitched about racism there (how many people were at those protests earlier?) it seems that he’s trying to call out those who hypocritically complain about campus racism and then don’t actually try to change anything. I doubt he’ll succeed, but it’s heartening to see an administrator acknowledge the challenge of apathetic hypocrits.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:41 am
Yes, Elliott C. Back that’s exactly it! You’ve obviously missed a lot of ridiculousness, allow “read more: Dartmouth” to fill you in.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:42 am
That’s awesome!
And yes diversity, the way it’s understood in most universities, IS a joke.
May 16th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Heaven forbid that most people on campus could actually care less about race. I’m part native (granted, I don’t look it and it doesn’t really count if you can’t SEE it) and my best friends are chinese and haitian. We’d be good poster children for diversity except for the fact that race and diversity have nothing to do with it. Association based not on the color of each other’s skin but personality and character? Not thinking race is a good measure of anything other than race? Apparently this is the new definition of racism.
May 16th, 2007 at 8:26 am
I’m so glad that an administrator at Dartmouth finally has the balls to call our student body out on their false sense of tolerance and consciousness and say it like it is: we’re a bunch of lazy, apathetic jerks.
May 16th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Who cares about “diversity” and “tolerance”?! This isn’t kindergarten people, grow up. It was probably a ‘10 who thought he got blitzjacked; did he/she not understand the reduction in sarcasm at the end?
May 16th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Flippant? Nah. Use of barbed humor to prod the students into considering becoming more involved was refreshing and makes him seem more approachable and involved. Good job. And good job to you guys for making it seem like you were taking a poke when you really were just supporting him. You were right?
May 16th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
To C-Red: Yeah, our take could have been clearer. It’s just funny that a dean’s email was so out there that people assume it’s a prank, and that he had to issue a meek admini-speak followup.
As to the substance of the thing itself — after re-reading, it’s EXACTLY the kind of smartass missive that ordinarily gets us all tingly; I kind of want him to apply for a summer guest editor spot.
May 16th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I will also point out that the terrifying Dean Lord frequently lifts at the campus gym and benches in excess of 400 lbs and leg presses over 1,000lbs. I pity the fool that crosses Dean Lord.
May 17th, 2007 at 7:44 am
Seriously… the man used to come in to the mens locker room in full sweats and rip off sets of push-ups in the sauna! Dean Lord is not to be trifled with…
May 17th, 2007 at 8:35 am
there are saunas in the public dartmouth locker rooms?
May 17th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Columbia’s gym locker room has a sauna as well, albeit a small one.
May 17th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
There’s a sauna in one of the men’s locker rooms at the Yale gym as well. It’s mostly used for gay hookups. Oops I’ve said too much already. The Yale gay mafia is going to come after me now.
May 17th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
PWG: not funny, not appreciated.
May 17th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
you’re wrong y08…it was kinda funny and sort of appreciated even though the execution was pretty bad, the thought and intention was received
May 17th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
One in four maybe more, One in three, maybe me?
May 17th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
One in four, maybe more. One in three, maybe me. One in two, maybe you. One in one, no more legacies.
May 19th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Dartmouth is not diverse and compared to the others, it’s fairly segregated. Leave it to WASPs to declare themselves leaders themselves the most open-mined people ever.
Actual conversation:
Then-boyfriend, Bob*: This is Ashley
Al: Pleased to finally meet you. Where are you from?
Me: Connecticut
Al: I meant originally
Me: Uh, New York
Al: What’s your… nationality?
Me: I’m American.
Al: Where are your parents from?
Me: Quebec.
*names changed to protect the identities of students
May 21st, 2007 at 1:55 am
Dean Lord is been investigated for doing more than push-ups in the boys sauna. Stay tuned…
August 22nd, 2007 at 6:31 pm
This dean lord fellow is shameful. An administrator of his calibur writing a blitz like that to get students attention is like parents trying to use “hip” slang to relate to their kids. I expect more from dartmouth than this. This alum can’t stand whats happening to my beloved dartmouth… president wright and all the loonies are ruining our tradition rich, proud, little college. That’s why I voted against the idiotic constitution and continue to speak out against the agenda of the president. dartmouth is not a vocational school. hard liberal arts education, period. i got the best most individually catered education of anyone i know (and most of my friends are from ivy league schools)… no one should fix what’s not broken in my opinion. The administrators want to turn dartmouth into a harvard… none of the alums will stand for it. A large grad focused institution with easy majors like inter-racial studies or something to that affect has no place at dartmouth. if you want to study far out subjects, go to brown. if you want your vocational certificate diguised as an ivy diploma, go to cornell…