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Acceptance Letters Will Ruin Your Life

by Chris Beam | March 26, 2007 at 10:12 am

Must suck to live in a soap opera. Every episode it’s a new ordeal: Your old boyfriend dies of AIDS, your new boyfriend is in with the mob, your father fakes his death and vanishes for 15 years, your mother miscarries after an elevator crash, and to top it off you get taken hostage and shot in the stomach. But none of these tragedies come close to the horror of … gosh, it’s hard to even say it … the unparallelled heartbreak of getting into Yale.

We stumbled across this 1995 clip from General Hospital, in which Robin Scorpio — who later loses her virginity, tests positive for HIV, and experiences all the terrible things listed above — gets a “big fat envelope from Yale.” Her reaction: utter dismay. See, she doesn’t want to be far from her boyfriend, Stone, not for all the Whiffenpoofs in the world. Most girls with similar situations in the real world deal with this by trying to keep up a long-distance thing (racking up $140 Cingular bills and listening to a lot of Lifehouse, before the inevitable “love you too much to do this” breakup and ensuing hookup spree). The GH screenwriters solve the dilemma just by, uh, killing him off.

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7 Responses to “Acceptance Letters Will Ruin Your Life”

  1. Comments IvyExperienceOverrated Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am

    So… umh… why couldn’t she just defer for a year?

  2. Comments J Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 11:42 am

    Reading Wikipedia about soap stars is now my new favorite activity. Thanks IvyGate!

    Check out this great quotation:

    “She met his current girlfriend, Sam McCall, as they were both involved in a train wreck (during the November sweeps.) In helping him, Robin enlisted the help of neurosurgeon Dr. Noah Drake (played by Rick Springfield) and his son Dr. Patrick Drake, who is a neurosurgeon. Together, they were able to save Jason, and Robin made the decision to stay in Port Charles, citing that she enjoyed being around her family, particularly her uncle Mac and his two daughters Maxie and Georgie, again.”

    WOW! So much action!

  3. Comments Neo Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    You can defer two years even for some schools.

  4. Comments ummm... Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Didn’t this storyline take place years ago? I know, cause my mother used to watch the wretched show…

  5. Comments SDJ Says:
    March 26th, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    “I don’t want to be that far away from stone.” AAAAAAHAHAHAHHA

  6. Comments jacob Says:
    March 27th, 2007 at 9:53 am

    Damn you, IvyGate! I thought Stone was going to die at the end of the clip, and I watched that whole stupid thing just waiting for him to get shot or keel over or drive into a tree or something–and then it didn’t happen! I watched that whole stupid thing for nothing!

  7. Comments Sarah Says:
    March 27th, 2007 at 10:33 am

    I’d KILL my boyfriend for an acceptance letter (e-mail?) this Thursday.