More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About the Dartmouth Fraternities
Two anonymous Dartmouth alums write in this week with a brilliant guide to the Hanover Greek scene. Don't go to Dartmouth? Read anyway, out of respect to the men and women whom history alleges invented beer pong.
On a campus where there's not much else to do than drink, where one spends the majority of his/her time drinking is, understandably, a matter of utmost importance. Hence, the frenzy surrounding fall rush -- that magical time of year when the powers that be (juniors and seniors) spend three days deliberating over which obsequious sophomore guys and girls they will deign (or beg, depending on the social cachet of the house) to let join their respective fraternity or sorority.
Despite frequent attempts by school administrators to curtail the "vibrancy" of the Greek system, about half of all guys, and an even higher percentage of girls, join one of Dartmouth's 15 frats and nine sororities. In the interest of time (and relevance -- some of the houses technically considered "fraternities" by the college are actually minority "affinity houses," and are thus, for the most part, totally marginalized by the rest of the overwhelmingly white Greek system), here's an abridged, house-by-house guide to frat life at Dartmouth:
Fraternities
- Alpha Chi (Athletic affiliation: none): A solid enough bunch of guys who throw the occasional well-attended pig roast but mostly keep to themselves. Not a major party destination, but not a bad place to have a beer, either.
- Alpha Delta (Athletic affiliation: Rugby, soccer, squash): An absolutly filthy sty of a place, as one might expect from the frat that inspired Animal House. Pissing and projectile vomiting are standard practice in the basement (even during crowded parties), which literally doubles as an open sewer. An ecletic bunch, the house has shifted in character in recent years from rugby meatheads to scrawny hipsters who think they're cooler than they actually are, which is why Heorots and Theta Delts (see below) consistently get hotter women.
- Bones Gate (Athletic affiliation: none): A vaguely secretive house that always seems to be at odds with the administration, which is why they're usually on probation. A bit more "alternative" (read: more experimental drug use) than the mainstream houses, Bones Gate is perhaps best known for serving "Cutters" during major party weekends, a drink of dubious origin but of definitive effect (euphoric inebriation).
- Chi Gam (Athletic affiliation: Baseball, tennis, date rapists): Historically, the sleaziest house on campus. Has tried to clean up its roofies-laden reputation of late, but that hasn't stopped the brotherhood from throwing parties specifically tailored to freshman girls. A disproportionate percentage of the house hails from Long Island and New Jersey, essentially rendering Chi Gam the Meatpacking District of frat row.
- Gamma Delt (Athletic affiliation: football): Big steaky meatheads, and the sort of girls who are attracted to a bunch of guys who haven't been competitive in the Ivy League in almost a decade.
Heorot (Athletic affiliation: hockey, skiing, crew): Fun fact #1: Heorot derives its name from a mead hall described in Old English epic Beowulf. Fun fact #2: No one in Heorot is smart enough to have ever read Beowulf. Boasting the highest percentage of athletes of any of the houses, Heorot is where intelligent discourse goes to die. It's also where most attractive freshman girls and sorority sluts go to get rummaged by large hockey defensemen from Saskatchewan. Heorot parties are perhaps best known for turning into Top 40-fueled raves at 3 a.m., which is awesome or awful, depending on whether you are one of the aforementioned females.- Psi U (Athletic affiliation: sailing, squash, gay bashing); SAE (Athletic affiliation: none): Two seperate houses joined by one common bond: extrodinary douchebaggery. Psi U and SAE embody every abhorrent stereotype you can conjure up about an Ivy League fraternity: elitist, WASPY, rich and preppy. (UPDATE 11:53 a.m.: A Psi U alum informs us they've recently had openly gay members.)
- Sig Ep (Athletic affiliation: none): The house for those that don't want to be in a real house. Big, gay-friendly, and an all-around bunch of nice guys. Not exactly bedding the hottest girls on campus, but they're not trying to bang your girlfriend, either.
- Sigma Nu (Athletic affiliation: Dungeons and Dragons aficionados): The nerdiest house on campus, bar none. No one really knows anything about the house 'cuz no one actually goes there.
- Theta Delt (Athletic affiliation: Lacrossse, basketball, football): Conservative jocks/ex-jocks and the girls who love them (Stepford Wife hot, emotionally and intellectually vacant). Dude, bump that Van Morrison and O.A.R. a little louder, dude? For shizzle. Robert Frost was a brother, and he didn't graduate. Go figure.
- Tri Kap (Athletic affiliation: none): The only legitamately diverse house on campus (lots of Asians, increasing number of blacks). Double Asian stereotype alert: hypercompetitive about beer pong.
- Phi Delt (Athletic affiliation: none): "You don't like us...We don't care," proclaimed an old Phi Delt shirt. Amen. Phi Delt returned to campus in '03 after being derecognized for attempting to burn down Chi Gam. The vast majority of campus wishes sleeping dogs had stayed down. The cultish, socially inept brothers of Phi Delt strive to embody the "Good Old Boy" Dartmouth mentality -- that is to say, loud, obnoxious and entirely loathsome. Phi Delts do have a loyal coterie of groupies from the dregs of near-by sororities, though you'd be hard-pressed to find an attractive (even for Dartmouth) one in the bunch. Memo to anyone forced to suffer the terrible fate of attending a Phi Delt party: they piss in their punch.
Tomorrow: Sororities.
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October 11th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
You forgot Zeta Psi, which was, I believe, shut down due to their date rape guide in their pledge manual. Or so I heard.
October 11th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
You also forgot SAE.
October 11th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
SAE is on there, next to psi u. they’re both lame.
October 11th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
easy to tell the perspective of the writer: female or gay grimbo who has never had a good time at a party because the opposite sex largely ignores him or her
October 11th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I’d agree with pretty much every description! Nice summary.
You did forget to mention that Alpha Chi is the go-to place for fake IDs.
And while Sigma Nu is nerdy, you would certainly go there before you would go to Phi Tau, the true home of D&D. The Early 80s party at Sig Nu was always fun.
October 11th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I’d agree with pretty much every description! Nice summary.
You did forget to mention that Alpha Chi is the go-to place for fake IDs.
And while Sigma Nu is nerdy, you would certainly go there before you would go to Phi Tau, the true home of D&D. The Early 80s party at Sig Nu was always fun.
October 11th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
So true about Heorot. They definatly pull the most tail, though. Theta Delt also refers to themselves as “Sweeta Delt.”
October 11th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Well since every guy who’s posted here is probably more dumb, lame, poor, and stupid to go to dartmouth and be in a respectable frat, and every girl who’s posted here is a skanky dumb bitch, i’m going to say these evaluations AREN’T “right on” and tell you all to lick my balls.
October 11th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
For the last time, Zete was derecognized because internal brother newsletters were pieced together and printed in the D. Pledge manuals had nothing to do with it. The date rape thing came from a “headline” in the newsletter (”Brother X’s date rape tips”). Note that Brother X was actually a really sweet shy guy.
So you heard wrong
October 11th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
this has to be some of the dumbest crap I’ve ever read. Clearly a biased perspective and lame enough to promote every archetype in the book. What a waste of time. You need to get over the fact that your were dung by by some house and get on with your LIFE.
October 11th, 2006 at 7:26 pm
this has to be some of the dumbest crap I’ve ever read. Clearly a biased perspective and lame enough to promote every archetype in the book. What a waste of time. You need to get over the fact that you were dung by some house and get on with your LIFE.
October 11th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
I doubt this author has ever spent much time in most of the places he mentioned seeing as the descriptions are completely inaccurate. what an idiot. probably spends saturday nights in the library or is a 10 trying to act like he is the shit becuase he can post things online about the school he only recently started attending.
October 11th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
This was pretty funny, and mostly on the mark, although isn’t Sig Nu also associated with the marching band?
October 12th, 2006 at 1:04 am
Most of these were right-on. With the stunning exceptions of Sig Nu and Phi Delt, which were fantastically inaccurate. Sig Nu is more nerdy in a politics-geek kind of way– definitely not the D&D crowd. And Phi Delt? Not even close. Maybe back in the day they were this awful– what year were those two anonymous alums, anyway?– but the guys I know are really decent.
October 12th, 2006 at 1:15 am
Young enough to agree that, in our humble and obviously biased opinon (a guy and a girl, for the record), Phi Delt is pretty lame (they also align themselves politically with the uber-conservative nutjubs at the Dartmouth Review
And yes, Phi Tau is probably more D ‘n D than is Sig Nu, but you’re splitting hairs there.
October 12th, 2006 at 4:20 am
Gee, I remember when the hottest tail at Heorot was the little curly one on the back of the greased pig they had as the guest of honor for some party or other. I guess times change.
October 12th, 2006 at 10:30 am
I didn’t get your description of Phi Delt. Way off. They have the best basement on campus.
October 12th, 2006 at 10:49 am
Its important to note that it wasn’t just hockey players who scored at heorot, but skiers and track guys too! nevertheless, i’m fairly certain that crew guys suck.
October 12th, 2006 at 11:23 am
Psi U gets lumped in with SAE? This is pretty much the best thing that has happened to SAE this decade, what with nearly dying off and all (for lack of membership, not for anything ballsy like trying to burn down another house and murder all its sleeping inhabitants). Oh, and AD is the house to really play some D&D.
October 12th, 2006 at 11:55 am
Since 2002, AXA is no longer the fake id destination. It is a good place to rage, fyi.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
Since 2002, AXA is no longer the fake id destination. Cops can be a bitch. It is a good place to rage though, fyi.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Psi U and SAE together? not even close. And neither is the lie-filled Phi Delt description. The guy and especially the girl who wrote this obviously have a vendetta against certain houses. The female author is an inveterate social climber who bitched her way into a sorority after an failing to get a bid. I’m not surprised in law school right now.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
correction for the above comment…i’m not surprised she’s in law school right now.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Writing about Greek life at Dartmouth (or any other college) should probably be reserved to people that have some sort of idea of what they are talking about. Clearly the authors of this piece do not. Anyone who actually cares to know what the Greek scene at Dartmouth is like should either a) actually come up here themselves, or b) read Hoyt Alverson’s 2005 study of drinking culture at Dartmouth. I’m not sure that either of these options are as accessible for the average user of this website, but they are certainly better than reading this trash.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
I usually stay away from frat parties and go to ice cream socials instead because they don’t serve alcohol there… and the women don’t have crabs.
October 12th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Come on, even if you don’t like the description of your house, you know it’s based on some truth. Obviously none of these reviews are 100% accurate, but they’re pretty close to getting at least the reputations down.
However, I’d change the Psi U/SAE and Phi Delt. Phi Delts are mainly nice guys. They’re quiet and never leave the house, but rarely are they assholes. The Review people seem to be gravitating towards AD anyway.
And yes, Psi U/SAE are both upper-class, but in two different ways. Psi U is more of the Westchester/Fairfield County preps (add stereotypes here), while SAE is everything you hate about the White, Upper-Class, Priviliged Male (”The Man”). And Psi U has too many gay brothers coming out to bash.
October 12th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Ay Oh! The frat I pledged RULEZ!! We sometimes throw some great ragers with the local Theta Chi fraternity on Tuesday nights. So sick!! And on the off-nights, we have bowling mixers with a local sorority FOAD. Your stereotypes are all wrong, dude!
October 12th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
YO, ME TED. MY FRAT RULEZ!!! AN THE U-S-OF A IS A GREAT CUNT!
October 12th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
be sure to do the coeds!!!
October 12th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Hey Anonymous (if that’s even your real name), why don’t you just go cram it up your cramhole, ok? You dullard!!
October 12th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
a haiku:
writing of social groups
you are too ugly to join
please kill yourselves now
October 12th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
YO, TED. MAH NAME’S JAMAL… JAMAL JENKINS AND I’LL CUT YOU, FOO!
October 12th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
a Haiku? What is this, the GGMM?
October 12th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
No, this is not GGMM. Drink a beer.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Welcome to teh world of AIDS
you needle sharing pricks.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Wow, like, this article is totally dead on. Whoever wrote this must be SOOOOO Dartmouth.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
what the fuck is a GGMM?
October 12th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
yo anon… im from Dartmouth and you don’t know a damn thing about me. when i read your comment, i picture a hot blonde with a tight bunghole and a prada glasses. come visit me at dartmouth so i can give you the ass-rimming of your life.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
I have a knock-knock joke for everyone. Ready?
Knock-knock
….
Your mother doesn’t love you.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
http://muttonbone.com/
October 12th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
These descriptions all are pretty accurate. I can bet you a million dollars that the only people bitching about this are the people in the frats that you’re making fun of. Grow a pair, guys, and realize that this is what everyone else on campus thinks about you. Quit being so sensitive, get with reality, and come to terms with the fact that the description in this guide is exactly why you joined said frat in the first place.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:36 pm
As a distinguished alumnus from Dartmouth, I found this entire conservation childish, appalling and barbaric. All of these immature comments have done nothing more than prove the article to be correct. That being said, I just farted a wet one and I don’t think that chili I ate for lunch was a good idea.
October 12th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
don’t forget the co-ed houses!
October 12th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Sigma Nu ain’t that nerdy… I tried to ask some of them for PSP hacks and they didn’t know what I was talking about! jeez!
October 12th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
As a member of Psi Upsilon, I’d like to say that everything in this article is true and if it isnt true, well then. I don’t know the rest but I heard the working-stiffs is the bomb. I’m just saying. Don’t tell Joe.
October 12th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I don’t need to pay for my friends. Nuff sed.
October 12th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
you asians are all dullards.
October 12th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
i’m a fellow psi u & have to agree with mongo…not only cause we are brothers, but because he’s my ghey lover
October 12th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
I think we need to broaden our scope and redefine what we call a fraternity. A fraternity is an organization that is only as strong as its weakest link. In order to grow and strenghten our diversity, it is time that we allow new intersexual members to join among our ranks. We can train these trannies to not only be our brothers but also our sisters with benefits only after consuming our body weight in alcohol. Amen and god bless. Warmest regards,
October 12th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Listen wise@ss. I don’t pay for my friends. We contribute to the fraternity out of the goodness of hearts. I love all my brothers as close friends and as pirates. Like any other organization, it needs money to survive and make things happen. But your mother on the other hand will do anything for a $1.
October 12th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
hey vanessa au…your stupid!
October 12th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
this is exactly the type of response that i would expect from a juvenile frat member who can’t hold a decent argument and has to resort to mother sloring. I will not stoop or squat to your level no matter the urge to do so. I will end my commenting for now as i need to tend to my pastor who has been im-ing me for the past 5 minutes.
p.s. your mom is a slore.
October 12th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
you’ve been hit by the Working Stiffs.
http://working-stiffs.com/mambo/
October 12th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
“I don’t need to pay for my friends. Nuff sed.”
Yes you do, bitch. I know who you are. Your alleged friends actually don’t know your name, they just politely wave to you every time you venture out of your single to take a shit.
October 12th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Wow…I graduated 4 years ago and these stereotypes pre-date my tenure. I think these alumni should head back for a reunion if they weren’t so embittered about the fraternity system.
October 12th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
Neel Shah ‘05, did you write this? I know you’re probably checking the comments section every minute or so, you little shit.
October 13th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Oh, B.B. I’ll tell you my name if you tell me yours.
October 15th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
No one has posted in DAYS! Where is the drama? The controversey? Please, someone, keep me company. I miss you.
October 16th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
It’s ironic how the Sig Ep ‘06 one is pretty much what the Zete one would have been in, say, ‘94. Zete screwed up, but the Administration wanted a scapegoat even more.
October 16th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
It’s sort of pathetic that the sorority list completely objectifies ‘types’ of women, while this shit goes on about what guys are getting more tail at what places. It’s disconcerting how, even when cutting these houses down, the tone is mad aggressive. Reinforcing gender dominance is going to make this campus more awful than it already is, and this shit makes my heart sink a little. Mostly because You and I know it’s the mental fucks that take this shit for rote who’re going to be in congress some day because they sucked the right dicks. May you all be shot in the face and have the hole fucked until your brain is filled with cum.
October 16th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
here here. all you women haters need to grow up. i didnt know we were having social commentary hour. even so, “get a job” has a point. Many young and impressionable souls don’t have the life experience to get the joke that is the greek system. the pressure to hook up with the “right” person certainly contributes to date rapes by men and social climbing by women, and other crappy things. Even though my class took steps toward eliminating that pressure, it was still palpable in the culture. In an environment of hypercompetitive and horny people, i doubt it will ever go away. oh, and as of four years ago, those descriptions were excellent stereotypes. “mad aggressive” though. I’ve had good times at all of those places, even co-ed houses. ( even Panarchy! sort of. DnB in the weird-ass dungeon). Every place has guys that are cool and guys that act like assholes. most of these assholes just need to grow up and relax a bit. Some never do.
October 16th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
It is articles like this one that make an amazing school a much lamer place. How is a school filled with such intelligent people able to buy into this crap? Do you really think if a guy ends up getting into Psi U instead of AXA he ends up being a gay hater instead of a chill dude? Mad Agressive said one intelligent thing: every place has decent guys and assholes. Stop perpetuating obnoxious stereotypes that are only semi-right because people write crappy articles like this, it’s chafey.
October 17th, 2006 at 12:10 am
Word this shit is dead on, uhh hrmmm i take my shirt off at phi delt and no one cares, itook an axa hat and dont even care, i went to theta delt and got roofied and i dont care man i dont care
October 17th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
WHERE ARE ALL THE HIPSTERS?
October 23rd, 2006 at 1:55 am
Author, B.B. stands for Brigitte Bardot.
By the way, I’ve heard from a credible source that Neel Shah ‘05 did in fact write this fraternity guide.
Please direct further commentary on this matter to Neel.Shah.05@Alum.Dartmouth.ORG
October 29th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
poke him on facebook
October 30th, 2006 at 2:35 am
1) go to a different school
2) rush TKE
November 4th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
The guy from Animal House has a new book out:
http://www.amazon.com/Real-Animal-House-Awesomely-Fraternity/dp/0316057010/sr=8-1/qid=1162665091/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-8886365-1148114?ie=UTF8&s=books
What is the reaction?
November 14th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
Heorot and TDX will always be the strongest on campus because of GK. If you don’t know, you don’t deserve to know.
November 21st, 2006 at 6:01 pm
neff you are a huge tool, phi delt is cool but you are not. kill self quickly and quietly.
January 16th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Just to lend some credence to the Heorot description, the reason they are currently college owned is because they at one time tried to flood the first floor, freeze the water by opening all the windows and create an indoor ice-skating rink… problem was, the immense weight caused the floor to buckle creating hundreds of thousands of dollars of structural damage. Good self-chafe.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:03 am
What is the GGMM?
I’m an ‘03 and can’t figure out what it is… neither can any of my ‘03 friends… what is this elitist thing that’s popped up in the years since we’ve graduated? I feel so out of the loop!!!
Oh, and Heorot did try to make an indoor ice rink… disaster…
March 20th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
I’m an Dartmouth grad late nineties. These are the same nutshells of the frats that existed back then. Douchebaggery was right on. I was always a little worried about that piss rumor. Oh well, I’m still alive.
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Me and some of my bros have shit in the punch before.
On an unrelated note, the Reds party is coming up - everyone should attend.
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
you gotta split it into two scenes. there are the normal frats, then there are the meathead frats. Team Webster:
BG > Phi Delt > AXA > Sig Nu > SigEp > Zete > Chi Gam
(chi gam is only good for dance parties where none of the girls who go actually want to have sex with the brothers, who are mostly douchebags and diddlers)
meats:
AD > Heorot > TDX > GDX > Psi U
tri kap just sorta stands alone.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:33 am
The stereotypes expressed in the article are certainly not right-on. They are, however, the stereotypes that we all know and love–even if we pretend not to believe in them.
The best part of this is actually the discussion board. If you know anything about Dartmouth at all, then you know what house each of these people comes from, who writes for the GGMM, who is a ‘10, and even some of the “anonymous” individuals. Guessing who’s who is a great game!
Love you!!!