Wharton Professor Really Good at Farsighted Answering Machine Messages, Having Sex With Minors

by Nick Summers | August 29, 2006 at 8:50 pm

Wharton Professor Really Good at Farsighted Answering Machine Messages, Having Sex With MinorsDial Penn Emeritus Professor of Marketing Scott Ward's office at (215) 898-8249, and you'll get this message:

"This is Scott Ward. I'm not in the office and will not be for some time. Please email me ... "

Not for some time, eh? No, we should think not. And, uh, Scott -- they probably don't have email where you're going, either.

Prof charged with sex acts will not teach, Gutmann says [Daily Pennsylvanian]

UPDATE 11:44 p.m.: Wait, wait, we totally have a better punchline! Q: How many UPenn Emeritus Professors of Marketing does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, to be charged with corruption of a minor, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, solicitation to commit prostitution, assault and battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction of emotional stress, negligence, fraud, statutory rape, indecent assault and indecent exposure over a 12-year period. Um, in a lightbulb.

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