Skorton Braves Hipster Jungle, Forgets “Iron Chef” T-Shirt

by Chris Beam | August 31, 2006 at 2:37 am

Skorton Braves Hipster Jungle, Forgets "Iron Chef" T-ShirtCornell Cornell President David J. Skorton has, if nothing else, huge balls. First he sleeps among the unwashed fresh-masses, now he ventures off into the drug-doing, brow-piercing, Morcheeba-listening, God-hating, cross-dressed (but otherwise naked) den of iniquity that is Risley Hall.

Our undercover Cornellespondents tell us that Skorton and his wife, Robin L. Davisson, dined chez Risley last night. When they entered the dining hall, one student reportedly sprung up from his table and gushed over Ms. Davisson: "You're beautiful! You make Jackie Onassis look like a crack whore!" (Kind words, but you be the judge.)

They then proceeded to eat dinner as ironically as possible.

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2 Responses to “Skorton Braves Hipster Jungle, Forgets “Iron Chef” T-Shirt”

  1. wondering Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 12:34 am

    What if Jackie O got addicted to crack, though?

  2. Anonymous Says:
    September 1st, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Dude, my mom was addicted to crack. Party foul.