Dartmouth Trekkers Prepare For Lives of Solitude, Cannibalism

by Nick Summers | August 30, 2006 at 9:53 pm

Dartmouth Trekkers Prepare For Lives of Solitude, CannibalismWe grew perplexed reading this about Dartmouth's outdoor orientation programs for freshmen:

"Our Trips are just plain sweet. We offer everything from canoeing to climbing and everything in between. Check out all of our different types of Trips and what your outdoor-lovin' five days will look like. And if your New York City behind is not in tip-top shape, no need to fear! We've got all sorts of difficulties to suit your outdoor style."

These trips are pretty common; they might even be universal across the Ivy League. But these kids are about to spend four years at Dartmouth. Aren't they going to spend enough time isolated from society, a la Alive, as it is? Maybe the tiniest Ivy should offer its students a truly unique opportunity, like a trip to the mall or a nearby urban center, like White River Junction or Concord.

Also, what do they mean by "New York City behind"? Is that like a "New York City sense of humor"? Like a JEWISH behind, perhaps? Anti-semites. Seriously, have they BEEN to Columbia lately, seen how skinny they all are? All part of a balanced diet of cigarettes and nose candy.

Comments 2 Comments | Digg! Digg This | Facebook Share on Facebook | Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post
Tags Read more: , , , ,

2 Responses to “Dartmouth Trekkers Prepare For Lives of Solitude, Cannibalism”

  1. The BMar Says:
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:05 am

    Whatever, Dartmouth invented these programs to distract the students from our lack of electricity or running water.
    Hopefully, no one pranks the new freshmen with a fake ritual murder as was done a couple years back. Whoops.

  2. the notorious OBGYN Says:
    September 4th, 2006 at 12:47 am

    Is that hiker girl pregnant?