Remember that one time you hit 'reply all' and the entire Undergraduate Assembly found out you were going to be 10 minutes late because of an emergency GYN appointment? Um, me neither.

Picture the worst email gaffe you ever made, and magnify that times a thousand, because a Cornell Business School tech consultant just made the worst email error of all time. According to Guest of A Guest, tech consultant John accidentally passed on a ridiculously steamy email exchange with his mistress Lisa (who is also a Cornell Business School employee) to the entire freaking school. They're both married. They're both so, so screwed. And they're both, um, apparently fans of tickling and tasting each other's naughty bits.

you bring me right to the edge of release, over and over and over again, yet each time I’m denied, and fiendishly tickled even more???

Pictures of these two fiendish ticklers, and the best bits of their email exchange, after the jump:

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The Daily Beast recently profiled Katie Kitamura (Princeton '99), whose debut novel, The Long Shot, is out this month from Free Press. Although the Beast pokes fun at the "young Asian ballerina" who wrote a novel about MMA, or ultimate fighting, they can't help but admit that the book is fantastic:

"Katie Kitamura, a Princeton-educated former ballerina, has produced a lean, taut little novel as authentic as any sport could hope to have represent it. The Long Shot, her debut effort, reads the way we imagine the best fighters to be: quiet, measured, self-assured, always thinking ahead.

This book sounded like a great end-of-summer read, so we checked it out and convinced the author to give away a personalized, signed copy to one IvyGate commenter.

That's right! For all of the times when you've bashed our posts, calling us out on typos or less-than-stellar sentence structure, the tables have turned, anonymous friends.  To enter, Leave your most awesome fight story in the comments. We'll update this post to let you know who Katie has selected as the winner on Sept 1, and you can email IvyGate to claim your prize.

So, to recap: Leave a fight story in the comments. You have until Sept 1 to make shit up recall that drunken night at 1020 where you maybe clocked your orgo TA over a wrongly-graded problem set. You can enter as many times as you'd like.

Ready? Let the commenting begin.

Edit: We have winners! Two, actually. H'?? (Gentlemen's Death Club dude) and "Two Tooth" Tommy. Email your mailing address/instructions to personalize to robyn@ivygateblog.com. Congrats!

Lately, everyone’s been going on about how they wish they could hate Nick McDonell, Harvard ’07, whose third novel, An Expensive Education, came out earlier this month. They want to hate him, interestingly enough, for the exact reasons they want to hate the Ivy League: rich, connected, intelligent, internationally famous, good-looking, well endow—um, you get the picture.

Just like wait-listed Harvard hopefuls who secretly despise their already accepted classmates, many of McDonell’s latest interviewers haven’t quite been able to mask their sheer loathing for the lot they’ve been cast. Oh no, of course they’re not bitter. Not when the New York Times journalist deems McDonell’s background “insufferable” and calls him out on having (wait for it!) used family connections for summer internships.  I know! Surely you too are shocked.
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There are certain things you'd expect of a Harvard lax recruit who went on to work at a hedge fund and boast of his penchant for Sarah Palin on Facebook.  Co-founding a restaurant with Britney Spears' dad and then using his Harvard connections to find Brit Brit the perfect Online Media Manager (the rest of the Ivy League--and all other plebians--need not apply) is not one of them.

Good job, Joe Nejman (H' 03).  You've suprised me, and not in that "oh, wow, it's soooo much bigger than I'd thought" way.  Joe, I've got a present for you: the Epic Elitist D-Bag of the Week award.  Congrats.

Because, of course, when Britney Spears needs someone to manage her online persona, Princeton and Yale grads just won't cut it--especially with such tough job requirements as being "a Social media expert with Googloe [sic] Analytics." The job ad, taken off a Harvard-only private job board, after the jump:

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• Cornell: Cornell's president might be, but probably isn't, meeting with Ahmadinejad.
• Cornell: The memorial service for dead '08'er is sad, the fact that they read parts of his moldering admissions essay out loud to the community is terrifying.
• Penn: Nerds at other schools hack Victoria's Secret competition, Penn grudgingly applauds but can't veil their bitterness at having lost
• Princeton: Instead of simulating poverty, students simulate homophobia, except, actually, they don't.
• Harvard: "The most unsuccessful show ever"
• Harvard (or is it Yale?): We iz in ur paperz, writin ur editorialz
• Dartmouth: "Anonymous" doesn't mean that you can sleep safely, my pretties.  They will KNOW IT IS YOU.

• Brown: students who protested the corporation meeting and made it inside are being punished, students who created diversion are not.
• Cornell: College bartenders- they watch girls comb through dude's pubes and have sex on bar stools.
• Penn: Anderton (of fearsome, identity-thieving duo Anderton & Kirsch) to be sentenced today
• Princeton: Smug that an alum might be appointed to a cabinet-level position in Obama-Biden administration.
• Harvard: True Love Revolution hosts an abstinence discussion, cautions speaker not to be homophobic, but he still offends people anyway
• Dartmouth: Cuts budget by $40m, which will apparently "have consequences." Ya think?
• Yale: Most intellectual cheerleaders ever decide to resurrect ancient Greek cheer for Princeton-Yale game

Aleksey Vayner, Yale ’07, clearly has nefarious plans.  I mean, this is the man who circulated an eleven-page CV around Wall Street, made a video resume of himself ballroom dancing and lifting weights (crotch-eye view!), “wrote” and “published” a book from the perspective of female Holocaust survivors, declared himself CEO of a suspiciously hard to track down company, and tragically lost his shot at a pro tennis career when his partner suffered a sprained wrist only moments before their first match at the US Open.

Aleksey Vayner is not, for example, the sort of guy you would expect to update his blog with pathetic little posts entitled "Best Way to Fight Fat!"  Well, maybe.  Like, if the best way to fight fat was to buy his nonexistent book, Millionaire's Blueprint To Success.

But this?

Basically, if you are successful at losing weight, you’ll burn fewer calories per day then [sic.] someone of the same weight but who was not overweight and did not diet to shed pounds. This is one of many reasons you find it easier to gain weight (and then some) after you have just lost some weight.

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• Brown: Co-ops not above the economic crisis, blame lack of records, we predict smackdown.
• Brown: Best. Idea. Ever. Ordain your roommate online, or ordain yourself or, hell, ordain your little Jewish Bubbie for Chanukkah--she'll love it!
  
• Penn: McVillains: "They come in here and set each other on fire, or throw up on each other."
• Princeton: Smugness about Princeton grad heading Obama's transition team doesn't stop them from using crap picture of the guy.
• Harvard: University sues Filipino Jeans Company with dumbest brand idea ever.
• Harvard: It's on, Yale Daily News!

It's election eve, Ivy Leaguers, and we at IvyGate are hoping that you'll all go out and vote tomorrow for Obama.  But until the polls open, you'll need something to do with your lives (besides eating half-off Halloween candy from the grocery store), and we humbly suggest that you check out YA For Obama.  YA For Obama is a social networking site created by young adult (YA) novelist Maureen Johnson (Columbia SOA '03).  It's also the website where both Judy Blume and the creator of Gossip Girl officially endorse IvyGate's favorite candidate.  We sat down with Maureen Johnson to find out how she came up with the idea for a political website that targets, well, people who aren't old enough to vote (aka next year's doe-eyed frosh).  Check out the interview after the jump:

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Oh yes, this just in: the Daily Princetonian is (allegedly!) being audited by the New Jersey Department of Labor.  According to our anonymous source, an incriminating and highly contraband email from the Prince’s tax guy, and our nose for scandal, it is SO on.  DOL vs. the Daily Princetonian.  And we’re taking bets.

Intrepid journalists that we are, Ivygate decided to contact the Prince for their side of the story. After a week of emails unanswered, phone calls dodged, futile attempts to leave a voice mail in their filled capacity box, and a bevy of confused business office lackeys who promised to “pass on our message,” Ivygate finally heard back from the Business Manager at the Prince. What he said: “no comment”. What we heard: “damn you, Ivygate, how did you guess?”

Don't concern yourselves with our seeming omniscience, Daily Princetonian. Just make sure that all of you who were issued a 1099 from the paper for 2007 have your stories straight, and your contraband hidden in your hollowed out textbooks.

And as for you, readers, we'll let you know how this scandal plays out.