We didn't want you to go on summer break without first knowing which Yalies got into those fantabulous secret societies! Like, your entire summer would be ruined! Sure, that first Skull and Bones list we posted was a total fake-out (only one correct name in the end!) - but who really cared? Here are the society lists, forealz.

We wish these kids the best. As long as the new members of Scroll and Key and Skull and Bones and Wolf's Head don't paint their theses with the blood of aborted fetuses, or make giant swastikas out of snow, or construct giant penises out of Christmas lights, or have enormous flame-wars with their gay lovers on our comment boards, or go to war in Iraq because they're "deciders," they're fine by us.

After the jump: the not-so-secret society lists in full.

Read the rest of this entry »

Breaking news: it looks as though unhinged post-modernist and writing professor Priya Venkatesan will or will not be pursuing legal action against Dartmouth College. Trying to stay in the news despite her rapidly fading 15 minutes, Venkatesan contacted Dartblog and The D yesterday to say that she was dropping the suit. Never mind, though. Within 24 hours she re-contacted them to say that she will indeed be pursuing legal action. What seems most likely, however, is that Venkatesan, despite her claims to the contrary, has not seen a lawyer.

The D has one pithy student's take on the whole matter:

If Venkatesan followed through with her lawsuit the same way she followed through with grading our papers, no one would have had anything to worry about,"

Meanwhile, the Dartmouth Administration seems more bemused than angry, exasperated that Dartmouth's spam-blockers can't shoo Venkatesan away. Here Gail M. Zimmerman, the Dean of First-Year students, pretends to care about Venkatesan's legal action:

Robert Donin, Dartmouth's General Counsel, was present at yesterday's meeting. He advises that we do not believe there is any merit to a potential lawsuit and he does not feel it necessary for students to retain their own legal counsel at this time...

Questions arose as to our ability to block Prof. Venkatesan's emails. Whether that ability exists or not, it would not likely stop her emails from reaching your inbox given the dearth and ready availability of other free email systems such as hotmail, gmail, and yahoo. If these emails are distressing, please don't hesitate to forward them to me unopened. I would request you to forward any emails to me regardless of whether you read them or not so that I can be apprised of and assess how best to respond and support you.

After the jump: we analyze Venkatesan's academic work.

Read the rest of this entry »

Our commenters aren't known for taking the high road. Our boards tend to devolve into a sort of "my school is better than yours but at least we can all agree that Cornell sucks" type mentality. But people, you ain't seen nothing yet. Gaylies extraordinaire Akash and Victor - or maybe just their campaign "surrogates" - are duking it out, JuicyCampus-style, on our comment boards. Despite all sorts ofpseudonums, most of the comments come from the same IP addresses, posting again and again. Both Victor and Akash claim they are not the posters, only to follow up their denials with juicy tidbits more or less proving that they are in fact Victor or Akash or close friends. Did Akash lie to get into Yale? Did Victor ruin his life? Who knows?

Highlights: "cc" calls Akash a "psycho-loser" and "midget," and writes with glee about how Akash will soon be "raped and beaten in prison for 25 years." "ha ha" responds, calling Victor a "cross eyed bipolar, trailor trash freak" and insinuates that Victor may have had sex with his uncle as well as underage children - and that his mom supposedly had an affair with an illegal immigrant. It only gets worse from there. In all likelihood, none of these things are true - but to see the horrific results of love gone awry is nothing short of incredible.

After the jump: the flame war continues. How about a cease-fire, guys? We'd happy to engage in some shuttle diplomacy.

Read the rest of this entry »

So remember when Brown student / enraged leftist Margaree Little pied Tom Friedman in the face and some of us thought it was awesome and others were like, no, I love semi-retarded columns about globalization?  Well, we finally have a visual on her, people. Let's just say it makes her seem a little less like an adorable hippie and a bit too much like a real revolutionary. In retrospect, Tom Friedman got off easy. Up against the wall, motherfuckers.

So yesterday the internets were all a-twitter with news that Tom Friedman got pied in the face by an unhinged Brown leftist. Here's the footage you've been waiting for.

Brown students really are the Ivy League's revolutionary vanguard. Yesterday, at a guest lecture by New York Times pseudo-journalist Thomas Friedman, two students accomplished their revolutionary duty: they pied Friedman in the face. One woman was caught by an intrepid professor, even as her male accomplice got away.

The Brown Daily Herald with the scoop:

At the same time the woman threw the pie, a male accomplice seated a few rows back ran down the aisle and onto the stage, throwing small pamphlets explaining the actions into the crowd. After the pie hit Friedman and splattered on his face and torso, the two jumped offstage and ran out of the southeast exit of the building, followed closely by a man trying to catch them. A police officer also ran toward the exit but stayed inside. The thrower was eventually caught by police, who detained her in Salomon's lobby before moving her elsewhere.

According to our commenters, "the pie thrower was Margaree Little '08, a transfer from Colby who is responsible for much of the pro-Palestinian activism at Brown." Pro-Palestinian views or not, the pamphlet thrown on the floor by the would-be revolutionaries does a pretty good job of justifying the pie-throwing, accusing Friedman of a "sickeningly cheery applaud for free market capitalism's conquest of the planet" and "for helping turn environmentalism into a fake plastic consumer product for the privileged."

After the jump: the aftermath, sort of.

Read the rest of this entry »

Certain things: death, taxes, pre-frosh baring their innermost secrets on Faceook, never seem to get old. Remember back when the now-esteemed Class of 2011 discussed their favorite drinks with the world (consensus: beer is gross, but foreign beer is like okay)?

Well, members of the Class of 2012 are not so different than their intrepid predecessors: they still like to talk about how much they love mojitos and margaritas and that "jager = good taste" (!!!!) and that they hate beer because it "smells funny and looks kind of funny too."

Indeed, worried that Princeton is for squares, Mary-Jane Smith (what a clever pseudonym!) writes in:

I made a fake ID (ok, the name's really lame... whatever) Do a lot of people smoke weed? And since the 17- 19 preview is near 420, will there be a lot of smoking? Because personally I smoke at least once a week and I was wondering if anyone else at Princeton did the same...

Still the vast majority of the 2012's have moved on to a more important subject: themselves. They want to answer the most burning of questions: in this, the most competitive of all college seasons, how did they get in?  We'll let them tell you themselves:

You guys think you have tough choices! Ha! Listen to this... I got into Harvard, UPenn, Yale, Brown, CalTech, Stanford, MIT, and Dartmouth. Unfortunately, I somehow got denied from Cornell, which I really liked, but I was in all likelihood overqualified. This was unfortunate.

One Yalie on how "funny" life can be:

omg its so funny. like i got accepted here, but waitlisted at harvard and princeton. i mean what the fuck

After the jump: the academic records you never wanted to see.

Read the rest of this entry »

• 
• Brown: Child pornographer / Brown hockey player sentenced to slap on the wrist.
• Cornell: I heart Huckabee.
• Columbia: "Columbia Students for a Free Tibet address each other as "freedom fighters." The insurgents in Iraq also share this revered name." A batshit column by another Chinese propagandist. Have you no sense of decency, ma'am? At long last, have you no sense of decency?
• Harvard: Don't worry, kids. Primal Scream won't be affected by that pesky 1784 lewdness law that's still on the books.
• Dartmouth: So they're arresting kids for marijuana again.
• Penn: Doesn't Barack Obama know the DP isn't worth his time?
• Princeton: "An Yi '10, a Chinese student, said she thinks the protests against China are based on misinformation spread by a biased Western media." Have these Chinese shills infiltrated all of our campuses?
• Yale: Gaylies having a tough time of it.

• 
• Brown: How many times must a man turn his head...
• Cornell: A campus winery!
• Columbia: A brand new effort to prevent Columbia kids from shitting on "ditzy Barnard girls."
• Penn: Proud members of the Colbert Nation!
• Princeton: "I totally got raped by my history test."
• Harvard: "And while it may seem futile and even self-indulgent to sit uncomfortably in an armchair in William James feeling guilty, the opportunity for honest confrontation of our privilege as Harvard undergraduates will prove worthwhile as long as it informs future interactions with those that might not share in the same advantage."
• Yale: Check out "Yale Decides 2008" - it's a parody but without the self-knowledge!

So you think you're pretty awesome. You are, like, the greatest thing that's ever happened to Harvard. You effected lasting change during your time there, and you want to make sure, at the tender age of 23, that your legacy will be remembered. So what do you do? Why, you create an "award" in honor of your greatness and name it after yourself!

Aaron Chadbourne, Harvard '06 and now a first-year at Harvard Law School, felt that his myriad accomplishments as an undergraduate were being overlooked. I mean, Aaron Chadbourne changed Harvard! Aaron Chadbourne is a legend! So Aaron Chadbourne decided to create the Aaron Chadbourne Student Advocacy Award to honor Harvard undergrads most similar to Aaron Chadbourne. Chadbourne sent out an email detailing his latest accomplishment - the Aaron Chadbourne Award - to the Harvard UC list:

Nominate a Student Representative for the 2008 Aaron D. Chadbourne Student Advocacy Award:

Aaron Chadbourne has established an annual award to recognize a student who has made a positive and lasting impact on Harvard, for the benefit of the student body, by forging and leveraging relationships with Harvard administrators and faculty members.This award shall be given annually to a junior or a senior at Harvard College who has served as an Undergraduate Council-appointed representative to one of Harvard's administrative or student-faculty committees or in a similar capacity on a board or committee at Harvard that works closely with faculty and administrators.

An honorary award may also be given to a faculty member or administrator who promotes student representation and participation in decision-making at the College and University and who serves as an advocate for student interests at Harvard. 

Many originally thought the Chadbourne Award was an April Fool's joke. The Crimson has a pretty good take:

Originally questioned as an April Fool's joke over the UC general e-mail list, the self-titled award was announced under a blurry panorama centered on Lowell House, where Chadbourne lived as an undergraduate, and was accompanied by a paragraph detailing Chadbourne's involvement in student government. While at Harvard, Chadbourne was a UC representative for three terms and served as chair of the Student Affairs Committee (SAC) in 2005."

After the jump: the Aaron Chadbourne Award proves D.O.A.

Read the rest of this entry »