We Want You

As the school year starts up and our vacation is over, we’re gearing back up for yet another year of college. But every archetypal old guy still living in the frat house needs new recruits to initiate, and that’s where we’re looking at you, kid.

We’re looking for smart writers and editors to join the crew and embarrass celebrate their classmates and professors. You don’t need a crammed resume and scores of serious clips, you just need enthusiasm and willingness to dig into the lives of those across these eight unsightly campuses. IvyGate is an open group of nosy quacks, and you will have the opportunity to experiment with ‘journalism’ and pissing people off. We offer test drives and guidance for all levels of experience. You’ll also have the opportunity to interact with the IvyGate alums who have somehow emerged successful from these storied halls.

If you are interested in writing, editing, photographing, and/or socializing online or IRL, hit us up at ivygate@gmail.com. If you’re not interested in any of that but have a story you think we’d like, embed this in your brain: tips@ivygateblog.com.

Happy first ~week of school. Don’t lose those fucking syllabi.

Changes at IvyGate

Yes, it’s time: IvyGate is looking for its next class of editors — the brave, maladjusted souls who will lead this wretched blog into and beyond the summer of 2013. These editors will report on the eight well-heeled schools known as the Ivy League, with a particular focus on the embarrassing antics of their students, alumni, and faculty — in other words, what IvyGate has always done.

Qualifications are nonexistent. Experience working on the student paper won’t count against you — but a willingness to tackle and publish gossip, whether it’s funny or actually important or simply gross, will count for more. You will have ample opportunity to snark and disparage, of course, but you’ll want to concentrate on breaking stories, many of which are supplied by our active tipline. This will, on occasion, require using a telephone. You should be prepared, and a little bit excited, to piss people off. (You should also know basic HTML.)

Perks are meager but important: control over what and when you publish, a hungry if irascible audience, plus any money (minus server costs) generated by the site’s advertising. You’ll also join the disaffected ranks of IvyGate alumni, who despite this blog’s ignoble reputation have gone on to work (and apparently flourish) at legitimate publications in New York and beyond.

So, if you’re interested and want more details, drop us a note at ivygate@gmail.com. We’re scouting for both summer and full-time editors. You’ll get a test drive and plenty of guidance. If we don’t get back to you shortly, please re-send; our spam filter is aggressive. We’ll be hunting for our successors for the next few weeks.  Read the rest of this entry »

And We’re Off

Some housekeeping: we’re taking a break for a bit, and will return to regular posting in early December. In the meantime, if you want to write for us, get in touch. (And be sure to follow us on Twitter.)

— YOUR EDITORS

Today’s Dose of Admissions Melodrama

“Despite the 14 Advanced Placement tests (11 top scores) and two consecutive placings in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair under his belt, he found no welcome at any of the eight Ivy League schools, and neither did his co-founded company aid him in clinching even a position on the wait-lists of several of their peers.”

Because: “He’s an Asian applying for financial aid.”

The Evolution of a Campaign Platform

Read more here. Read the rest of this entry »

ATTN: Concerning This Morning’s Harvard Article

Dear readers,

IvyGate posted an article this morning about the recent resignation of Michael Marc D. Hauser, a Harvard professor who was found responsible for eight different cases of scientific misconduct. Shortly thereafter, we were alerted to a number of striking similarities between our own story and one published two days ago in the Harvard Crimson. We’ve since removed the article, and followed up with its author, a first-time IvyGate contributor, who will no longer be writing for the site.

We regret this error, and we apologize to the Crimson for the serious editorial oversight.

Peter Finocchiaro
Editor in Chief, IvyGate

IvyGate’s Looking for Summer Editors: APPLY NOW!

You may have noticed — if you weren’t too busy slaving away on terms papers in some dimly lit corner of library-hell — but the seasons have changed.

The sun is out. The birds are chirping. All manner of Ivy League fauna — butt-chugging bros, tiger cubs, felonious transfer students, fucking Kurt Schneider — have shed their extraneous outerwear and appear poised to continue making poor decisions well after the vernal equinox. In short, summer is just around the corner.

Your fearless IvyGate editors will continue to plug away here through the end of May, after which time we’ll step back into advisory roles. Then starting June 2nd, in the finest of IvyGate traditions, we’ll hand over the reins to a fresh-out-of-the-box team of Summer Editors, equipped with their own distinguished brands of Internet muckraking.

But who, pray tell, possesseth the verve, the panache, the editorial derring-do to lead IvyGate? Maybe you!

Here are the detes: If you’re interested in applying to be a guest editor for the month of June, shoot us an email at tips@ivygateblog.com. We’ll send over the application info, post haste. Then you can get to work showing us exactly why you deserve a shot at the helm of the Good Ship IvyGate. Who knows? This plum gig could be your first step to media glory. (After all, former summer chief Maureen O’Connor is on TV like every other day now.) So, if you’re interested, hit us up.

Happy Finals,

Constance, Peter, and Eve

Harvard Hoochies’ Guide to Final Clubs

If you haven’t heard about @harvardhoochies, it’s time you took notice. They are self-proclaimed wannabe-housewives and BU biddies who spend five days out their week hooching and husband hunting in Harvard Square.

Although they are typically not fond of RUHGs (random ugly Harvard girls), they offer the Ivy League their comprehensive vocabulary to successfully become Final Club crashers or even full-time residents.

Grad board (n): Ruling body of Harvard and final club alumni who assist in executive decision-making for the clubs. Not all grA.D. boards and club members have the best relationship.

Harvard Final Club Ego (n): A male final club member’s acknowledgment of his final club appeal which spawns his tendency to demean women (mostly BU women) as well as think he is ridiculously good looking when in all actuality, he is not.

Member (n): The best of the best. Current Harvard junior or senior “brother” of the final club. Members are full-fledged Harvardian manmeat and have all authorities of glorious clubdom and membership. Members oft hold keychains with swipies for door entrance to clubs, have hooked up with at least three or more of your friends and have lost count of how many times they’ve had sexual intercourse on the upper floors of the club house. Members also genuinely respect club rules more, as most have official club positions or are vying for them, and members have grown into their tuxedos so they always look more comfortable and are indubitable more attractive at annual initiation parties.

For some more need to know terms, follow the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

IvyGate Basketball Roundup: “Nobody thought Dartmouth was going to win anyway” Edition

Whether you were black and yellow or green and yellow this past Sunday, you can all enjoy Tom’s basketball roundup for this past weekend…

After barely escaping their weekend at Princeton and Penn with one win, Harvard (16-4, 5-1) fans have got to be relieved this week.  Things were looking dicey for the Crimson in double overtime at the (finally) raucous Palestra on Saturday night, as they trailed by three with less than two minutes to play after having already dropped their Friday contest in New Jersey.  But Oliver McNally’s baseline jumper with 11 seconds to play saved the weekend for Tommy Amaker’s squad, who return to the friendly home confines of Lavietes Pavilion this weekend to host Yale and Brown. 

The Harvard-Penn thriller was a fitting cap to a great weekend of Ancient Eight play which showcased the depth of the league this season.  Princeton (16-4, 4-0) stayed perfect in conference play with crucial home wins against Harvard (65-61) and Dartmouth (68-53).  Led by Ian Hummer (17 pts/4 rebs) and Dan Mavraides (15 pts/ 7 rebs/ 6 asts) – and assisted by the league’s best sixth man, forward Kareem Maddox (14/5) – Princeton found just enough offense to get by the Crimson in a tight, low-scoring affair typical of Jadwin Gym.  What’s more impressive for Tigers fans is that Princeton found a way to slow down Harvard’s frontcourt stars, Kyle Casey and Keith Wright, who combined for just 27 points and 14 rebounds while racking up four fouls apiece. 

Penn (9-9, 3-1) showed their class as well, taking Harvard to the wire (83-82) and earning a weekend split which keeps them very much alive in the title race.  Also surging is Yale (11-9, 4-2), who got 21 points and 9 rebounds from Greg Mangano on Saturday night to see off suddenly struggling Columbia 72-67 at home on Saturday and complete an important weekend sweep.  Now at 4-2 in the league, the Elis can safely be considered the dark horse contender for the Ivy crown.

Columbia’s (12-8, 3-3) troubles began the night before in Providence, where Sean “The Professor” McGonagill dropped 39 points on 15 of 19 shooting to lift Brown (8-12, 1-5)  to its first league win by the final of 87-79.  Despite playing with a facemask due to injuries sustained the night before the game, McGonagill still managed to dominate the Lions from start to finish, and consistently beat the multiple defenders Columbia tried on him.  Meanwhile, Columbia star Noruwa Agho struggled all weekend, scoring just six points in each Light Blue contest while shooting just 33% from the field.

Cornell (5-15, 1-5)got off the schnide the following night against McGonagill and the Bears, who couldn’t replicate their Friday performance despite 26 points from Tucker Halpern.  It was Andrew Ferry who led the Big Red, netting 20 points and going 7 for 8 from the line in the 91-79 win. 

And Dartmouth (5-15, 1-5) was swept at Penn and Princeton.  Big Green fans should try to find solace in the fact that nobody thought they were going to win anyway.

The Mouth that Roared Podcast – Recruiting Report

This week in the Mouth that Roared Podcast, Tom talks about recruiting. (The IvyGate editors think the secret for success is just being really, really tall. Although, apparently there is more involved than that.)

Also, here is the IvyGate Team of the Week:

F Kyle Casey, Harvard – 16.5 ppg, 10 rpg
F Jack Eggleston, Penn – 19 ppg, 10 rpg
G Errick Peck, Cornell – 17.5 ppg, 5 rpg
G Noruwa Agho, Columbia (2x) – 21.5 ppg
G Doug Davis, Princeton – 15.5 ppg