We’ve come a long way from twee harmonies and admissions video prancing… Here’s “Love of the Dead,” a zombie-romance-horror short film from the minds of some truly depraved Yalies.

General plot outline: Boy meets girl. Girl becomes zombie. Boy imprisons and rapes zombie girlfriend. Boy poses as gay, trapping and killing enticed men in order to provide zombie girlfriend with food. Boy takes off shirt and works out. Boy rapes/kills different girl, feeds her to zombie girl. Zombie girl eats boy.

This is seriously horrifying:

Love of the Dead – the Yale Zombie Project from Yale zombie project on Vimeo.

Columbia Professor Eric Foner appeared on The Colbert Report last night to lay down the gauntlet against some down-home history-rewriting conservatives. (The Texas School Board recently axed apparently-too-liberal Thomas Jefferson from their textbooks.) Colbert had Foner “answer for his liberal crimes,” and in so doing, provide a lot of food for thought on the politicization of the classroom. Watch and laugh your Wednesday away:

Our Cornell frat hazing story has gotten the Internet all in a tizzy; it’s currently lighting up the front page at Huffington Post and enflaming the feisty Gawker-crowd (also, these nerds). Just to add to the fun/fuel the fire, look what we just stumbled on, right on the front-page of the Cornell ADPhi chapter website:

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Zero Tolerance for Hazing at Alpha Delta Phi

Several Cornell websites help visitors to learn about allegations of hazing at Cornell, report alleged hazing incidents, explore non-hazing group-building activities, and find out what they can do to prevent hazing. Take a look at: Hazing at Cornell and services for victims of hazing.

The best part? The links lead nowhere.

Yes; frats haze, no big deal. We think only an idiot would subject oneself to it, but to each his own.

But lying and hypocrisy? Didn’t know that was a brotherhood kind of thing… Ritual abuse, however “voluntary,” seems a little bit like Monica Lewinsky; you only get in trouble when you start fibbing about it.

You heard it here first: hipioneers and Wesleyanites, electronic duo MGMT, will be headlining Yale’s Spring Fling music and booze-spectacular. The name “Missy Elliot” has also been thrown around, though with less conviction. (Last year’s big names were GirlTalk and The Decemberists.)

The news comes to us from several well-connected sources, and if we’re wrong, we’ll eat our hip, hip hats.

The bros of “literary fraternity” Alpha Delta Phi (yeah, really…) may not be living up to their noble, stated aims. IvyGate has received an exclusive copy of an email sent to this year’s ADPhi pledges, detailing their hazing lineup. We’ve also gotten our hands on an anonymous report of the night’s disgusting, dehumanizing festivities.

The young pledges were:

• Forced to chug a slurry of dogfood, tabasco sauce, and sour cream;
• Run relay races, while blackout drunk, through the great halls of the ADPhi manor–filled with flour, beer, and water–while being pelted with dodgeballs;
• Jog naked laps outside the house in the below-freezing Ithaca winter;
• Stand outside in a “lineup” for two hours, with only a shirt, jacket, tie and slacks.

Brotherhood and ritual abuse FTW!

ADPhi bros: we hope you successfully vented all of your testosterone/closeted-homoeroticism/self-esteem-issues/meathead aggression on these defenseless freshmen. We don’t want to see exploding sweatpants in the back-row at lecture.

Defenseless freshmen: Remember when Pike–that other frat at your college–poisoned those other defenseless freshmen? Maybe a warning sign…? The experience sure doesn’t sound like, in the words of the ADPhi website, a

process [that] enhances individual self-respect as well as fostering responsibile concern for others within the chapter

I bet hypocrisy tastes even better mixed with dog-food and sour-cream.

Full ADPhi email (fun fact: from a kid I went to high school with!) after the jump:

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Dartmouth President Jim Yong Kim: AIDS-fighter, MacArthur Fellow, Asian… MJ impersonator. As part of some strange American Idol-style Dartmouth talent show (how you all survive Hanover escapes me…), here’s Prez Kim–leather-jacket, white glove, and raw sensuality clad–shimmying to the best of the late King of Pop:

A man of the people indeed. Serious Fame Caucus points your way Kimmy.

Sometimes we get tips too acerbically bitchy not to post. It’s certainly interesting that HerCampus, Harvard’s fem-mag founded by Windsor Hanger, is expanding into a shop by teaming up with Sasha Rhett. And it’s definitely hysterical that most of Harvard thought their grand announcement email was a silverware advertisement. Just as Editor eye-catching, however, was this sassy rhetorical:

Will Sasha Rhett actually sell a watch(a feat it has not managed up to this point), or will Windsor’s website get any traffic besides Windsor constantly refreshing her page and trying desperate to click her own ads in order to make her site the next Perez Hilton/Daily Candy for the unwitting college girl?

Sweet mother of sass… So, what do you think of HerCampus?

poorly written college women’s magazine founded by Windsor Hanger (Harvard 2010), which usually acts solely to expand its branches to numerous college campuses without producing original content and use endorsement deals to host parties (only Jack Wills would fall for that).

So not the most glowing of reviews. Final thoughts?

If this is the state of ideas coming out of Harvard, God help them.

Well, “Anonymous,” you sound like quite the Mean Girl yourself. Maybe HerCampus should hire you?

Full tip after the jump:

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There was something about Rumpus’ recently released 50 Most Beautiful list that seemed a little off. No, not the typos, falsifications, or numbers accidentally written in Arabic (seriously). We couldn’t quite put our finger on it. Something about the gradient: white after white after white. Maybe their printers ran out of black ink? If only…

Apparently, in the gossip rag’s esteemed opinion, a disproportionate number of Yale’s pretty people are, well, of the Caucasian variety. We’ll let the ‘50 most’ numbers speak for themselves.

For comparison’s sake, here are the racial demographics of Yale as a whole, courtesy of Questbridge:

(FYI, 20 out of the 29 Rumpus-ites who worked on the issue are white… yup, about 68%)

So, using the power of math, our crack quants at IvyGate HQ have calculated that Rumpus’ 50 Most Beautiful List is 21.6% whiter than Yale in general. Ouch.

So much for the post-racial America, Barry.

Yale’s cruelest and least copy-edited “publication,” Rumpus, just dropped its trademark issue: the much-heralded and uber-nepotistic Yale’s 50 Most Beautiful. And inexplicably, there are 52 people on it. (Oh, and the cover mistakenly advertises 49, see below.) The rarely published and never fact-checked gossip rag also alludes to the exploits of a certain promiscuous “Cock Goblin,” public masturbation in Zeta, and more “truths they couldn’t prove.” Hot off the presses!

But don’t kid yourselves, you tasteless pamphleteers; we’re here for 50 Most. Best ways to get in? Know/hookup with Rumpus staff, make a public fool of oneself, (check, check) be a twin… or be beautiful, too, we guess. IvyGate’s got the list, and the balls to fact-check (stay-tuned).

Stats: The hottest Residential College is Davenport (mine, baby), with nine beautiful people, and the worst represented, Ezra Stiles, with a measly two. There are 11 freshmen, 12 sophomores, 18 juniors, and 11 seniors.

The actual hotness of these snarkily profiled folks is soon TBD. For now, feast your eyes on Movement for Beauty and Justice founder and professional airhead Justine Kolata, who made the issue alongside an exploited and confused horse above. After the jump: the full 50 Most list.

(Photo courtesy of Miranda Lewis, list graciously compiled by Joe Satran)

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Hide your co-eds. Noted badass, saxophonist, and first black president, Bill Clinton, LAW ‘73, will be delivering Yale’s 2010 Class Day speech.

His wife (also a Senator) Hillary did the honors in 2001. This year, Harvard, having settled for Christiane Amanpour, has definitively lost the fame-game.

But after Christopher Buckley’s deliciously sassy 2009 speech, the former prez will have his work cut out for him. Maybe he’ll bring those two cute Korean journalists he rescued. Maybe he’ll inhale.

At the very least, he’d better not fall asleep.