It should come as no surprise to our faithful (and always charming) readers that we've been a bit scarce lately. Turns out that IvyGate is a great way to get a great job that takes a great amount of time and effort to do. That's where a few of us have been lately.
So here's an open call to anyone and their most attractive friends. Want to write? Let us know. Want to edit? Give us a shout. Want to design some cheeky imagery? Talk to me.
Experience is arbitrary. But we will demand that you understand teh internet, possess a cutting sense of humor, and write with a proto-David Foster Wallace voice. Seriously, otherwise, just email us if you're up for cranking out content.
IvyGate pays in beer and glory. And trust me, it flows freely.
Late this afternoon a woman's body was found in the basement of 10 Amistad Street at Yale Medical School. Based on the wording of Yale President Richard Levin's email to the community, the body is presumably Annie Le, the graduate student and bride-to-be who went missing last Wednesday. Today was to have been her wedding day.
Our hearts go out to Annie Le’s family, fiancé and friends, who must suffer the additional ordeal of waiting for the body to be identified. I have met again with her family and conveyed to them the deeply felt support of the Yale community.
The body—which was hidden inside of the walls of the same building where Le was last seen—has yet to be officially identified by the Connecticut Office of the Chief Medical Examiner.
Yesterday, investigators discovered a set of bloody clothes hidden in the ceiling of the Amistad building. Though the clothes did not match the outfit Le had been wearing when entering the building Wednesday morning, police began searching local landfills and an abandoned industrial area in Hartford for evidence.
Le's wedding has been canceled and her fiancé, a student at Columbia, is not a suspect.
Read President Levin's email in full after the jump.
A student at the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences has been the first to die of complications of swine flu in the recent outbreak on Cornell's campus. Warren Schor '11 of the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity passed away at the Cayuga Medical Center. He was 20 years old.
Although approximately 450 students have presented flu-like symptoms, a representative of the Cornell Flu Line stated in a phone interview yesterday that so far only two students had been conclusively diagnosed with H1N1. Vice President of Communications Tommy Bruce now reports that number at 520. Neighboring Ithaca College has reported at least 18 students are symptomatic.
The Cornell Sunreports that, at the behest of Gannett Health Services, the Inter-Fraternity Council had instated a weeklong moratorium on social events to help prevent the spread of the disease. But, due to a flood of flu-related visits, Gannett also has stopped scheduling routine appointments, so they may just be canceling frat parties to avoid the standard Sunday morning rush for Plan B.
After the jump, the administration's response: a lesson in hygiene.
UPDATE: Some have questioned whether it's appropriate to have jokes in the same post that acknowledges a death. No element of this post mocks the deceased or those grieving—in fact, any humor is directed at the administration and their lack of response that precluded the student's death. However, since we wrote most the post before the death, then updated it afterwards, the tone may now be off. It's our policy never to take down posts, but as a concession we've added a more somber picture and adjusted some language.
Harvey Cox, Hollis Professor Emeritus of Divinity, exercised his 300 year-old right to graze his cow in Harvard Yard yesterday.
The Hollis chair, first held by Edward Wigglesworth in 1722, is the oldest endowed professorship in the country, and the perks match the needs of 18th century Harvard professors. (Might these also include the right to own house slaves and the liberty to beat women with thumb-sized sticks?)
Cox equates his cow grazing with saving the Earth, although the event itself seems a bit more niche. In front of a crowd of students, faculty and onlookers the cow, a Jersey named Faith, ate grass while a band of tubas played in celebration of Cox's retirement. There was even a pretentiously titled Latin oration: Ager Secularis: Movere ad Deum et Ruminare.
This cow idea could spawn some budget solutions. And it could potentially revitalize the Cambridge meatpacking industry. Think Bartley's best burger but MUCH fresher. And, in this case, blessed.
After the jump, more photos and a real live (think anticlimactic) video of Faith eating grass.
Annie Le, a graduate student at the Yale School of Medicine, has been missing since Tuesday. Surveillance cameras last spotted Le entering the Amistad Street facility at the medical school where she was a research assistant for associate professor Anton Bennett. Le is supposed to be married on Sunday.
The Yale Daily News describes the 24 year-old student as such:
Le, a 4-foot-11-inch Asian female who has shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes, was last seen wearing a knee-length brown skirt, a bright green short-sleeved T-shirt, brown shoes and a brown necklace.
Curiously, Le had left her purse, cell phone, and other belongings in her lab before leaving. She's carrying only her Yale ID card and does not have access to a car.
Anyone with information about Le's whereabouts should contact the Yale Police Department at (203) 432-4400. We will make any necessary jokes upon her safe return.
Today's Crimson featured a neat little open letter from Bradley Smith, founder of the Committee for the Open Debate on the Holocaust. Yep, it is exactly what it sounds like. A group that questions the existence of the Holocaust.
Bradley Smith, the founder of the organization that placed the ad, is a known Holocaust denier who has been identified for his hiding behind the veil of free speech in America. Here's his coolest quote:
I don't want to spend time with adults anymore. I want to go to students. They are superficial. They are empty vessels to be filled.
Really, economic times are hard—Harvard knows that—but the Crimson business board is really opening the flood gates with this one. Not only is the Harvard Hillel pretty serious about not ignoring Jewish history, but to be frank, their student body is pretty aware of the sensitivity of certain issues.
Seriously, the First Amendment is awesome, but would the Crimson might as well run a full page for the Imperial Klans of America on that campus. (Yeah, that's the real link. I'm on some sort of list now I think. Fuck you, Harvard Crimson Business Board for making me reckon with freedom of speech!)
After the jump, pictures of kittens. Because IvyGate was not built to deal with bigot-speak. But you can see the ad in context, too.
UPDATE: Max Child, President of the Harvard Crimson, published an apology. Evidently it was some sort of crazy accident. They even gave the ad money back to Mr. Hates-the-Jews. Nice cover-up, dude.
Emma Watson has arrived in Providence with the paparazzi in tow. A few hours ago, the UK's Daily Mail newspaper published the first photos of a very un-Hermione-looking girl lounging in the grass at Brown and performing what appears to be a variation on the tolasana yoga pose.
According to a statement from Brown's director of communications, Watson will receive the same rights and protections as any other student on campus. (Seriously, we want this confirmed in party photos.) Emma is following suit, explaining that she's just a regular limey:
But I do hope that it will be only a short time before I am known as "Emma Watson, the student from the UK" rather than "Emma Watson who starred in those Harry Potter films".
Good luck in college, Emma. And remember: No Glove, No Love.
About a minute after a small man does an ariel while wearing a loin cloth and some sparkly body paint, the camera man says: "Swim right through that sexiness."
The video is pretty much downhill from that point on.
Brown is the douchiest school in the country, according to GQ. Princeton is number three. Harvard is number four. Does this seem wrong? Keep reading, Deep Springs grads. It gets worse.
Just before the station wagon left the IvyGate garage, GQ published a "heavily researched, possibly stereotyped, but still accurate guide" to the nation's 25 Douchiest Colleges. In their own words, the GQ editors observe the inherent paradox of the douche:
The question isn't whether you're a douche bag when you go to college. We were all kind of douche bags when we went to college, if we're going to be honest about it. No, the question for America's youth is: What kind of douche bag do you aspire to be?
Gottseidank Yalies, Dartmutts, and Columbians, you're off the hook. Harvardians, Princetonians, and Brunonians are not so lucky. Cornell, Penn: honorable mentions don't always need mentioning.
After the jump, what's wrong with the list, and what you can do about it.
We've got the station wagon packed and Igloo full of beers. Meanwhile, those lucky freshman moving into the lauded zip codes (02138, 06520, 08540, etc etc), have their own road trip to sort out. And the Senate Finance Committee is doing whatever they're going to be doing to make sure the American health care system stops killing people's dads.
So IvyGate's taking a little vacay. I'll be working on my Member's Only jacket collection—not a joke—and recruiting new writers. (Email me directly with discount codes for eBay Top Sellers.) We'll be back on September 1st with a cache of embarrassing move-in mix-ups and pictures of Emma Watson's underwear drawer.
It should come as no surprise to our faithful (and always charming) readers that we've been a bit scarce lately. Turns out that IvyGate is a great way to get a great job that takes a great amount of time and effort to do. That's where a few of us have been lately.
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