Get the Flash Player to see this player.

When not beating out Iowa City for the best college town, Ithaca can get a little dull during its down time. That might explain why a bunch of frat bros have created a new drinking game, now unfortunately available on YouTube. Produced by a vague “Society,” the video borderline Chef Tony infomercial details “Russian Roulette,” which consists of a frisbee, Solo cups, and Cornellians too sober to simply play beer pong or Kings (yes, we’re also wondering why everyone isn’t just piss drunk 24/7 in Ithaca).

After the jump, learn the rules!

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, the Cornell Sun published a photo of a severed pig’s head on the Arts Quad, displayed in all its rotten glory along with a sign proclaiming, “Maybe it’s the beast, maybe it’s just us.”

According to Dear Uncle Ezra, a campus-related advice blog and Cornell’s own stand-in Carrie Bradshaw, the slaughtered head may have been a fraternity’s collegiate reference to Slope Day, Cornell’s drunken end-of-the-year party. It might also be a literary reference to Lord of the Flies. (Too stupid to create their own reputation so they had to steal Dartmouth’s and Brown’s? We thought as much.) Uncle Ezra went on to elaborate on the accused frat members:

Perhaps, deep inside, they truly crave the common sense authority that members of a mainstream society have and yet they have been denied by this godless institution where apparently “adult” students behave within a supposed institution of higher-learning as if it was merely high school with no rules…. I would hope that, in the future … other students at Cornell would see past some silly fraternity idiocy and be more disgusted by the deplorable self-poisoning and immorality occurring around the fraternity’s fitting choice of symbolism…

Come on, Uncle Ezra, cut them some slack. How else are Cornellians going to allude to Hogsmeade in order to hang onto the one piece of good publicity in a decade?

The first book in the Harry Potter series–Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone–was released in the United States in 1998. (Yes, it was that long ago.) Over the next 11 years, the millions of children who first read the book back in the 20th century would all grow up and go to college. And one common action all of these kids took was to evaluate how much the university they attend is like Hogwarts. Well here to finally settle the dispute of which American universities would be most likely to have a chamber of secrets is college admissions counselor Katherine Cohen. Ms. Cohen has toured many colleges over the years and has compiled a list of the five best suited for wizardry. Unsurprisingly, some Ivy League universities made the list. Perhaps surprisingly, only two Ivies made the list.

Cornell University, Ithaca, NY
Located on 745 acres overlooking Cayuga Lake in upstate New York, this research university is fairly removed from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan (as Hogwarts is from London). Cornell’s West Campus residential community, appropriately called “The Gothics,” along with the War Memorial, Risley Residential College, and the Law Library, are gothic masterpieces. There’s big school spirit here, too. Ice hockey, lacrosse and football games bring out huge crowds. Like competitors in the Triwizard Challenge, Cornellians wear their red scarves when they compete against their Ivy League rivals.

…

Yale University, New Haven, CT
As the third-oldest college in America, this might be as close to Hogwarts as one can get. The campus is full of towers, courtyards, arches and balconies, and boasts some of the country’s most breathtaking gothic architecture. Like Hogwarts, the Yale campus conceals many nooks and crannies. For example, under Sterling Library there’s a tunnel that leads to another library, part of Yale’s large underground network of unseen passageways, some of which remain locked or forgotten. Yale’s secret societies (such as Skull and Bones which has been made famous by Hollywood) may remind Rowling fans of Dumbledore’s Army. A defining feature of this Ivy League institution is its twelve residential colleges. Like the infamous sorting hat, the administration places incoming students in one of twelve residential colleges, where loyalties and rivalries abound.

Ms. Cohen lists “physical appearance, residential community, academic rigor, extracurricular opportunities, and unique traditions” as her criteria for wizarding universities. Oddly, having actual Hogwarts wizards as students is not included. While Ms. Cohen does appear to have all her facts in order (Cornell’s Risley Hall is known for its annual Harry Potter night), she should apologize to Dumbledore’s Army for comparing them to Skull and Bones. Read the rest of this entry »

Given the insanely high costs of tuition these days, college students have certain expectations of their academic institutions. These expectations include good concerts, at least one place on campus that sells crepes, and cops that aren’t complete buzzkills. Most importantly, students expect their college to keep their personal information safe. So when a Cornell-owned computer containing the names and Social Security numbers of thousands of Cornellians was stolen, it was clear that somebody focused too much on the crepes. On Tuesday afternoon, Cornell sent this e-mail to over 45,000 current and former students and faculty in order to say “our bad”.

Dear Current or Former Member of the Cornell Community: 

Last week, we learned that a Cornell-owned computer that was stolen earlier this month contained your name and Social Security Number. Please accept our most sincere apologies for this unfortunate event. 

In order to inform you of this situation as quickly as possible, we are sending you this email in advance of a formal notification via U.S. mail. 

Hooray! We’re all fucked!

The entire e-mail after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

The thrills of this year’s commencement exercises clogged up our emotions here at IvyGate. And by emotions, I mean health. With all those stabs at the swine flu and the poor Ivy Leaguers stuck in quarantine, some virus sought revenge on at least one IvyGater. (Guess who.)

So most humble apologies for being out of commission this week. As some of our contributors are taking the big walk this year, we’re going to take another few days to do the family thing. We’ll be back June 15 under the leadership of a new team of summer editors. I’ll make the announcement once things have been finalized, but suffice it to say the application process is now closed.

In the meantime, here are the top stories from this past semester for you to munch on:

• 1. Dartmouth Students Jump to Racist Conclusions About New President: 12,000 views for the we-hate-Asians response from a student humor group after the election of Jim Yong Kim to Dartmouth’s highest office.
• 2. How To Get Into An Ivy League School: A Step-by-Step Guide Featuring Testimony From a Real, Live Silver-Spoon Legacy and a Racial Minority! 10,200 views for admissions tips that work.
• 3. Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Members Panic and Leak Pictures from Inside the Hall: 9,010 views for America’s favorite Invisible Girl inside Yale’s flimsiest society.
• 4. Yale Group Releases Racy (or -ist?) “Single Asians” Video: 9,000 views for an annoying song and dance with black-face implications.
• 5. How To Sneak Into The Ivy League, Or Why Columbia Is Not As Selective As You Think It Is: 8,000 views to get you a Morningside Heights address with little effort.

After the jump, a few of our favorite posts, the hot comments boards, and a close up from yet another picture inside a secret society.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s time once again to look back at the weekend in sports in the Ivy League, or as it is also known, the Old Ocho. With last week being spring break for most of the Ocho, many teams took road trips to schools in the west and south. It was a nice chance of pace as they were able to lose in warm weather. But one Ivy school stayed in the cold and won, and that’s why they lead this week’s list.

1. Yale

Holds bragging rights over: Cornell

The Eli’s men’s hockey team won its first ever ECAC Hockey Tournament Championship this weekend. In the semifinals on Friday, the Bulldogs scored two goals in the final two minutes to rally past St. Lawrence 4-3, and in the finals on Saturday, they stomped Cornell 5-0. Yale received even better news when the NCAA men’s hockey tournament bracket was released on Sunday. Thanks to what can only be Skull & Bones working their dastardly influence by annexing Fairfield University, the Bulldogs were named the host of the East Regional in Bridgeport, Connecticut. They managed to be the host despite not actually hosting any games there this season. Anyway, this means that the Elis only need to win two games in their home state to make the Frozen Four. This is example #5,763 of Yale making the world less fair for the rest of us.

2. Brown

Holds bragging rights over: Dartmouth

Both Bears teams in the Ivy League’s only nationally competitive spring sport (lacrosse) won this weekend. The nationally ranked men beat Dartmouth and the women squeaked by UConn. Of course, Connecticut’s women’s lacrosse team is essentially the bizzaro version of their women’s basketball team, but still…

Everyone else after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

• Brown: Brown has identical twins; they’re even friends and look alike!
• Columbia: Eric Holder, first black Attorney General, to be class day speaker, Maggie Gyllenhall clearly robbed
• Cornell: Recession prompts Cornellians to graduate early and escape high tuition for even higher rates of unemployment
• Dartmouth: Koreans react to appointment of Jim Yong Kim, anger level at undergrads uncertain
• Harvard: Funding furor over $200. Well, it’s the principle.
• Princeton: Princetonians no longer surfing porn during class
• Penn: Meningitis! Run for the hills!
• Yale: In this economy, being a history major might override where it came from.

Yesterday Ann Coulter directed her incendiary commentary towards Cornell, the “plastic Ivy.” By basically trashing their College of Agriculture and Life Sciences for NOT being an Ivy League school, Coulter compares Keith Olbermann’s referring to his “Ivy League education” to many forms of deceit. The best of it:

Olbermann’s incessant lying about having an “Ivy League education” when he went to the non-Ivy League ag school at Cornell would be like a graduate of the Yale locksmithing school boasting about being a “Yale man.”

As Coulter further muddles her own understanding of the Ivy League—originally and still just a sports conference—she raps about how alums of the “Ivy League Cornell” go on to become Supreme Court justices and stuff while the Ag School grads are basically all hicks and hockey players. So does this mean that Cornell is full of imposters playing Ivy League sports but who will eventually fail in becoming the next Paul Wolfowitz?

Not if the author of the Daily Sun’s Shameless Commerce has anything to do with it. Read all about it after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Cornellians,

I’m packing my long underwear and trekking up to Ithaca for the weekend with Heywood, a band that’ll be playing at Tammany Nightclub at Risley Hall tomorrow night (details below). I’ve never been to Cornell and need something to do to pass the time while they’re rehearsing — anything fun on campus or off this weekend? Leave your suggestions in the comments. I will document the good times for IvyGate, natch.

And come see Heywood (and, I assume, your friends). This is the schedule:

10:30 – Shadow’s Dance Troupe
10:40 – Rhythmix Break Free Hip-Hop
10:50 – Whistling Shrimp
*intermission*
11:00 – HEYWOOD
*intermission*
12:00 – Sarah Rae Robinson
12:10 – Willis Improv
12:30 – Natalie Masis
12:40 – Ethan Cohen
12:50 – Anders

Happy Election Day! While you stare vacantly into your television waiting for the country to choose one leader or another, here’s a bunch of election-related YouTubes that may or may not be fun.

First up: Cornellians rap about rocking the vote:

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

After the jump: Under the Button parodies that obnoxious “Don’t Vote” video, and cute kids impersonate the candidates.

Read the rest of this entry »