Flush after their Superbowl victory last weekend, the New England Patriots chose the unlikeliest of places to celebrate their achievement: a Harvard finals club.
Never one to miss the intersection of professional sports and professional learning, BroBible’s meticulously updated article chronicles every single second of the alleged night, including the potential grievous bodily harm that occurred.
The story goes something like this: after their parade through Boston, a few members of the Pats spent their evening in one of the country’s most hallowed academic grounds, where a lucky finals club member had a sports agent connection via his dad. Thus, Patriots at Harvard. There are multiple photos of a bearded man who, according to our careful Wikipedia-ing, appears to be Julian Edelman, the team’s punt returner; various tips also claim that wide receiver Danny Amendola and cornerback Darrelle Revis were also in attendance. It was only Edelman, however, who graciously lifted his shirt to the tune of several dozen screaming ladies of both Harvard and BU. The photos on BroBible beautifully capture the rapturous joy on his face.
Now it gets really risqué: while at the party, a daring young girl challenged Amendola to an arm wrestling match. He agreed, and then proceeded to LITERALLY BREAK HER ARM. BroBible’s hosting a photo of a Snapchatted X-Ray to prove it – thankfully it looks like a pretty clean break, and it seems like there are no hard feelings on the victim’s part.
But wait! – was the perpetrator Amendola or not? A few angry reports claim that it was actually Edelman, he of the shirt-baring and ferocious facial expressions, who broke that poor girl’s radius. BroBible smoothly shoots that alternative rumor down by implying that Edelman was too busy taking home a dozen Harvard and BU girls on each arm (c’mon, BroBible, we could have gossiped up that detail ourselves). Here’s wishing that student a speedy recovery, while wondering whether the glory is worth the pain. If any of you over at Harvard want to correct, clarify, or send your very own Snapchats of the night, shoot an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.