Nathan Harden, Yale ’09, just released his first book, Sex and God at Yale: Porn, Political Correctness, and a Good Education Gone Bad. The book has some street cred, as Harden is a Yale man himself, and the foreword comes from no other than fellow Bulldog Christopher Buckley, Class of 1975.

However, all of Harden’s arguments are based on the basic principle of “eww, sex.” And if you don’t hold his views, Sex and God at Yale gets real confusing, real quick.

In the introduction, which is puzzling for a whole host of reasons, Harden attempts to identify with an imagined freshman girl at Yale, exploring the weird, wild world of the university. Harden-as-freshman-girl discovers Olympic gold medalists and African orphanage builders scattered around her dorm, so how should she, just a simple small town girl, separate from the pack?

“Let me give you a clue,” Harden says. “You had better throw any ideas you have about self-respect and women’s equality out of the window.” Because, lest you forget, this is Yale, where people play by their own rules. And those Yale boys want one thing: sex.

“Time to get with the program, sister.”

After outlining the sex-obsessed, screw your way to the top, environment of modern-day Yale, Harden tackles the next big issue facing the campus in his opening chapter: pornographers as educators. Because how dare these people, who are known sexual practitioners (seriously, you can even find evidence of their acts online), have the right to speak at Yale, when the good men and women of the United States military are barred. Or, as Harden puts it:

“Why should university administrators allow a dildo peddler into Yale’s classrooms when for forty years they forbade the ROTC the same privilege?”

As a refresher, Yale had a long-standing ban on ROTC based, like several other Ivy League schools, on the military’s discrimination against openly homosexual individuals (see: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell). As opposed to the dildo industry, which has never said their product shouldn’t or couldn’t be used for man-on-man, or lady-on-lady, action.

Seriously, can someone explain this to us? Is there some odd connection here between Yale reacting to the military’s institutionalized sexual discrimination and an industry actually promoting sexual inclusivity? Or, is sex just depraved, deranged, and immoral, and goddam it, it has no place in one our country’s elite educational establishments?