Orientation 2011: Advice for Freshmen, Part 1

Rejoice! Orientation is under way, or fast approaching, at our schools. As hordes of nervous and awkward first-years stream through the ivy gates, us upperclassmen happily anticipate the chance to impart some of our time-tested wisdom upon our eager new friends, with minds so pure — and yet-corruptible.

In particular, student publications at  Columbia, Cornell, Penn, and Princeton have taken the lead in creating orientation guides for their freshmen, chock-full of charts, stories, advice, and photos. After the jump are some of the best bits we found. (Look for upcoming coverage on the rest of the Ivies.) 

Columbia

Cornell

  • From an op-ed in the Daily Sun: “There is way more to this college experience than beer pong and cow tipping… Ithaca may be in Bumblefuckerton, but your college experience will only be as fulfilling as you make it out to be.”
  • Another Daily Sun op-ed stresses the importance of never wearing Cornell t-shirts to parties.
  • The Cornell Review reminds readers to hold Reagan dear in their hearts, be wary of “the liberal excesses of the myopic institution we call Academia.” Your one-stop guide to being an ornery College Republican!

Penn

  • The Daily Pennsylvanian: An upperclassman declares, ”I envy the way freshmen see Penn.”
  • Penn’s 34th St. Magazine: Your Questions Answered. A helpful primer for those of you who have ever wondered, “How many ears of corn should I hang up in my dorm to remind me of home?”
  • 34th St. also provides a quick and easy guide to figure out whether or not your future roommate is a psycho or not with a simple study of their Facebook.
  • And last but not least, 34th St. hits us with this brilliant graphic series, entitled “NSO: Before and After”.
Princeton