High School Senior Promises Not to Publicly Urinate on Harvard Landmarks if Admitted

Although you don’t have to know ancient Greek to get into Harvard these days, some people have trouble making the cut. But what happens when those individuals think demonstrating their cult-like zeal and devotion to the place is the super-shiny golden ticket to acceptance? Bad news, that’s what. First, there was “Harvard, Please.” And now, waitlisted Harvard applicant Grace Oberhofer is unwisely taking lessons from a page out of Aleksey Vayner’s book.

Not a completely bad song (despite the whole shrieking thing), but she probably should have brushed-up on IvyGate in order to come up with some more entertaining Harvard references. (You know she was running out of them when she had to affirm she’d never pee on John Harvard’s statue.) And maybe she shouldn’t have made it public. For one thing, even if she does get in, she will now FOREVER be known as that pre-frosh who made a slightly creepy and overly impassioned plea to be admitted to Harvard, exemplifying how a competitive admissions process turns people into raving, singing lunatics.

Quick question, Grace: How do the colleges that actually admitted you feel about the fact that you think a desperate video plea was a better alternative to attending their institutions? And how is Harvard going to feel, PR-wise, about admitting someone who calls it a “school that intimidates the average fool?”

Perhaps, though, the joke here is that she’s a legacy who got waitlisted. Maybe Ivies don’t just admit legacies with impunity. Maybe just the really wealthy ones?