It all started with White Girl Problems (@whitegrlproblem). Bemoaning everything from carbs to cocktails to cute boys, Babe Walker’s Twitter pokes fun at the luxurious life and has managed to lure in almost 120,000 followers. While her complaints are not unfounded (“I had the worst nightmare last night. I was eating a bowl of brown rice and it turned into white rice.”—Err, yeah, I hate it when that happens?) they likely appeal to a rather niche audience. Namely, her readers include girls who weigh less than 90 pounds, spend more than $500 getting their hair done, and, in at least one case, go to Cornell.
Cornell Girl Problems (@crnellgrlprblms), whose tweets assume a similar thematic tone, might well be one of these readers is def an avid fan, as White Girl Problems is one of the mere three users she follows—a count that also includes SororityGirlProblems (@SororityProblems) and Lindsey Lohan (@LohanLindsey30), who hasn’t even tweeted yet because she’s been busy in jail. Cornell Girl’s dilemmas range from dilapidated weather to dining hall dreads—the Ithacan twist on the woes of the white girl. The majority of the posts harp on how much Ithaca sucks weather-wise:
or just how pervasive the state of the drunk Cornellian really is:
Okay, granted, this was clearly one instance. But other posts solidify the notion that intoxication is a central activity to the female at Cornell who, like @whitegrlproblem, has little body fat and must wear heavy coats to keep warm must get hammered when she goes out so she can look hot at the frats and not experience what -15 actually feels like.
With Cornell facing so many real and boring problems, Cornell Girl Problems is a breath of fresh air stale frat-house air. Her complaints ground her classmates in the little things, like how many carbs are in dining hall entrees and how giving blood just to impress the lax team is not actually a good decision. Cornell Girl keeps Cornellians from getting caught up in the larger woes, like a Nutty Professor who tried to defend ESP on the Colbert Report and yet another instance of Ivy League drug a-cookin’. #whatelseisnew.