A word of advice to anyone doing some holiday e-shopping: do not order drugs online and have them sent to your college mailbox. You will get busted, stripped of your titles (assuming you have any), and possibly expelled.
Such is the pending fate of Delos Chang, a Dartmouth freshman who was caught receiving a shipment of illegal substances roughly two weeks ago. The Hanover Police Department has since confirmed Chang’s involvement, according to an IvyGate source.
It’s not clear whether Chang mailed the drugs to himself, bought them online from some freaky crackhead version of Amazon, or merely had a generous pen pal from the Netherlands–but rumor has it that the drugs included cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. (Really? LSD again? And here we thought it was only good for the occasional Albanian trance concert or planetarium visit. Who knew everyone in the Ivy League liked to sit around for hours hearing colors and watching the walls breathe.)
Chang is, or at least was, the elected secretary of the 2014 Class Council–not to mention a staff writer for The Dartmouth. Sebastian DeLuca, the 2014 class president, said in an email that Chang would be relieved of his position and replaced with an existing member of the class council. Chang, meanwhile, took down his Facebook page sometime between yesterday and today, and didn’t respond to requests for comment.
The most beautiful irony of all might be Chang’s most recent contribution to The Dartmouth, an opinion piece he penned just over a month ago called “How to Ruin Your Social Life at Dartmouth.” His list consists of (1) harassing people on the toilet, (2) harassing people with threats of mortal psychosis, and (3) harassing people using emoticons. Let us add (4) LSD. Contrary to popular belief, it really only makes you popular with the police.
The administration has been very hush-hush about the case for the last two weeks, but Delos Chang has been an ongoing source of muttering on the website BoredatBaker.com. The Dartmouth, which technically ceased publication two weeks ago, is grinding back into gear for a breaking news story on Delos, according to a reporter for the paper. Updates to come on that. For now, consider this a warning to send all your drugs by FedEx.
Update: an IvyGate source who’s requested anonymity has informed us that cocaine was definitely not involved. And then there were two.
Also, there appears to be confusion at The Dartmouth as to whether Chang is actually secretary or treasurer of his class council. Their most recent story says treasurer, but this article says secretary, and so does the Facebook page created for Chang’s election. Apparently drug use is not uncommon at campus newspapers either.