Harvard Students Run for Undergraduate Council on Platform that “We Know Nothing About Undergraduate Council”

In under an hour, polls will close for the 2010 Harvard Undergraduate Council election. So, how has the polling season shaped up? There’s always a creeping suspicion that the students who run for these positions are deranged lunatics, so its interesting to see whether or not the freak flags begin to fly as early as the campaign. Which UC presidential candidate this year is a closet psycho?

Sadly, everybody seems mostly well adjusted. Hard to say much about Matthew Coe-Odess and Tengbo Li. (Seriously, like 15 minutes after reviewing their campaign materials, I barely remember their names.) And, front-runners Senan Ebrahim and Bonnie Cao are wholesome to the point where I want to kick a puppy just to restore balance. Thank goodness, then, for Collin Jones and Peter Davis.

Grating? A little bit. But it’s funny, too. Not ‘Ha Ha’ funny, but at least worth a chuckle. The guys run on the campaign pledge that they have absolutely no knowledge of the UC, and poke fun of the vague and fatuous platitudes so often expounded by candidates in these elections. Well played, we say.

Let’s review the team’s campaign materials:

As an aside, please notice how when Peter Davis isn’t speaking, he’s looking imperiously at the camera in such a way that, call us crazy, looks a lot like Pope Benedict XVI aged back a decade or six.

Sure, some jokes fall flat. (Like, for instance, an entire, tepid clip about buying a frog.) But remember, the Harvard electorate doesn’t always reward great comedy, so maybe the sometimes-“meh” execution works in Jones-Davis’ favor. Last year, Johnny Bowmen and Eric Hysen did a terrible interview with On Harvard Time in which they mostly just laughed nervously and did cartwheels. AND THEY WON!

(Meanwhile, the more comedically adequate Long-Johnson ticket — slogan: “Touching students everywhere” — only finished third.)

Collin Jones asserted in an interview with IvyGate that the campaign has been met with “fear” among establishment figures. He then bragged that the Jones-Davis Facebook page has the second most fans of any ticket in the election. (A sure sign of victory!)

And what if the ragtag duo does win?

I have been told that if we win, the UC will make us go through a crash course in how to run UC. My understanding is that this will be a series of lessons on inefficiency, ignoring the general public, and how to order t-shirts to pass out at student rallies.

Zing!

IvyGate wanted to know more about this “fear” Mr. Jones spoke of, so we approached the Ebrahim-Cao ticket to ask their opinion of JD2010.

Said Bonnie Cao:

I’m a huge fan of the Jones-Davis ticket, because they’ve added an invaluable sense of lightheartedness and entertainment to election season, and are, quite simply, great guys!

That’s all fine and well, but it honestly just bores the hell out of us. Where’s the unseemliness? The manipulation? Where’s the bloodsport?! You can do better Harvard. Shameless, extravagant self-promotion just ain’t what it used to be.

  • JD4UC2010<3

    This is an awesome article. Jones-Davis FTW.