About two weeks ago, Cornell announced measures to crack-down on drinking in the Greek Scene. This is no surprise (unless you are still in Plato’s cave searching for the light) due to last year’sFrat-tastically problematic pledge season.

According to the Cornell Sun,

Citing student safety and a need to change the culture of the Greek system, the University informed Greek student leaders Tuesday that they must implement in no less than two years – some sweeping changes to how they run their fraternities and sororities. As a condition of receiving University recognition, Greek organizations will have to bar freshman from attending parties with alcohol and eliminate alcohol completely from their recruitment and pledging activities. Chapters will also face stiffer penalties for hazing under the new rules.

You can read the complete IFC documents and timelines here.

Be forewarned: these planned changes are “not negotiable.”

However, the University is allowing Greek student leaders to decide on a timeline for the gradual implementation of the changes.

Further, the Dean of students for fraternity and sorority affairs, Travis Apgar, claimed that,

We are not trying to create a dry system. We are not trying to close any fraternities or sororities. We are not trying to shrink the system… These changes could even lead to growth in the Greek system.

Nevertheless, many students are becoming Chicken Little, predicting the doomsday of bros. One anonymous tipster told IvyGate that Cornell allegedly plans to close its Greek scene in three years.

Issuing an implementation plan to Cornell’s newspaper, Cornell students have their own plan of attack. You can read the entire resolution here, but below are the best gems:

To keep people accountable? We don’t. We rely on tattling!

How do we keep people accountable? We don’t.

This is not the end of the Greek debate; a forum will be held on September 8th to allow students and administrators to discuss the changes. The forum will take place at 7:30 p.m. in Willard Straight Hall.

If the Greeks yell these three magic words, they might be able to overcome their oppressors once again or then again maybe not.