BREAKING: Pi Kappa Alpha To Be Shut Down Permanently @ Cornell, IvyGate in No Way Involved
Oh good lord… So, a few months back we brought you the twisted tale of Pi Kappa Alpha at Cornell, whose rush-week boozefests left three freshmen hospitalized and the campus in uproar. Next, Cornell’s ADPhi bros bit the bullet on account of our leaked hazing regimen.
Well, as the great karmic wheel turns, IvyGate has received the exclusive final word, via a high-up on-campus source: Pike will be shut down, permanently. Apparently, the Interfraternity Council is holding out on releasing the news. According to the Cornell Daily Sun,
a public announcement on the fate of Pi Kappa Alpha is expected within the next two weeks.
But behind closed doors, the decision has been made… The hazers’ days are numbered.
And, by way of our own role in all this (also from the Sun):
Allegations of hazing at Cornell have garnered widespread media attention this year. Particularly, popular gossip blog Ivygate has prominently featured reports of the allegations, with stories being picked up by popular blogs such as Gawker and The Huffington Post.
We wash our hands of all this (after all, to us, ritual-abuse nonsense is a riot) and apparently, so does Cornell’s Associate Dean of Students Travis Apgar, who stated that:
while the Alpha Delta Phi allegations were first publically disclosed by Ivygate, they were simultaneously reported to the OFSA through hazing.cornell.edu. The Ivygate stories were not the basis of the investigation nor were they consulted as part of it. [IFC President Allen] Miller said that Ivygate was not involved in the investigation, and would not comment on the veracity of its reports.
Let’s just hope this isn’t unintentional paralipsis. As for our favorite quote? From the Associate Dean himself:
Media outlets such as Ivygate sensationalize for the reader.
Whoa, Dean Apgar, are you looking to start something? We’ll tread carefully: we know you’ve got dog-food, tabasco, dodgeballs, naked-laps, and alcohol poisoning at your disposal…
