“These Are Girls, Not Laxers”: The Pi Phi Plastics, Part Infinity of 4

What a long, strange trip it’s been. I mean, right?

Thankfully, we’re nearing the end of it all. The Pi Phi Plastics have one more life lesson to impart — perhaps it’s many life lessons rolled into one category? Obviously, the main lesson is “obey what the rush chair is weird about!” but, you know, makeup and hair are important too.

What else is there we can say? This is the first time that the Pi Phi’s tips speak for themselves — they really saved the best for last. As the rush chair tells us, this topic is:

MY FAVORITE. These are life lessons so read carefully.

Aww, Pi Phis, you’re OUR favorites, and we’ve so enjoyed reading you ever so carefully. Don’t ever change.

Beautify your life after the jump!

HAIR, MAKEUP & HANDS.

  • MY FAVORITE. These are life lessons so read carefully.
    • Face: Your skin is your base. Your face is your starting point—If your skin doesn’t look good, nothing else will. Always remember that. So unless you are [redacted 2009 pledge] or [redacted 2007 pledge], chances are you need to do something about your skin. I preferably like Tinted Moisturizer.
      • Yes:
        • Some kind of tinted moisturizer or light foundation.
        • Light cover up
        • Blush. This is not optional.
        • Brows: make sure they look good. Get waxed!!!!
      • No:
        • Caked on foundation
        • Dark blush or weird bronzer
        • Too obvious cover up.
      • Notes: You are young, so make yourself look like it. Fresh, pretty, feminine, cool = these are the code words. You don’t need to pile on the makeup, but you need to look like someone they’d die to hang out with.
    • Lips: Another thing I’m weird about. You need to have color on your life. Otherwise you will look like ghost. Yes you will.
      • Yes:
        • Lipstick: as long as it’s pretty and young and soft.
        • Lipgloss: light, colorful, dewy
        • Moisturize moisturize moisturize!!! Nothing is uglier than cracked lips.
      • No:
        • Dark
        • Obvious liner
        • Mustaches
        • Chapped lips
    • Eyes: This isn’t Johnny O’s people. Glitter/smoky eyes is not happening. It’s daytime, you eyes should defined and refined, less is more.
      • Yes:
        • Liner
        • Mascara
        • Light shadow: champagnes, nudes, etc. Light pink looks surprisingly good on most people.
      • No:
        • Dark hues
        • Glitter
        • Sultry. It’s noon people. And these are girls, not laxers. No need to seduce them with caked on black eye makeup. And if anyone likes to try that, it’s me, don’t get me wrong. Just saying.
  • Hair:
    • Clean
    • Cut
    • Out of your face
    • Freshly colored, if you get your hair colored.
    • Yes:
      • Half up half down
      • Chic, high ponytails
      • Down
    • No:
      • Weird accessories like plastic glittery butterflies. If you use a clip or bobby-pin make it simple, pretty, and understated.
      • Sloppy buns/ponytails
  • Nails: you best have a mani pedi when you get to Ithaca.
  • Additional Notes on Hair, Makeup & Nails:
    • Wear perfume
    • Wear deoderant
    • Get waxed, cut, colored and groomed!!!! Mani and pedi prior to Ithaca!!!!
  • D08

    The best part about these “tips” is how they’re aimed at white people:”Lips: Another thing I’m weird about. You need to have color on your life. Otherwise you will look like ghost.”

  • D08

    The best part about these “tips” is how they’re aimed at white people:”Lips: Another thing I’m weird about. You need to have color on your life. Otherwise you will look like ghost.”

  • y’12@D08

    My thoughts exactly. I wonder what happens when a black girl shows up who likes to wear her hair natural.

    • Rightsforall

      Based on your two postings, it appears you have a chip on your shoulder the size of a sequoia. It seems as if you are a racist against ‘white people’. Maybe Pi Phi  doesn’t have any black members. Maybe Pi Phi has a black member and lets her do the best she can with herself. Maybe the rush captain gave the tips to everyone, but they were meant for a few members who need improvement without singling them out. Maybe she didn’t want to embarrass them. Who knows? Maybe you could be a little less touchy about ‘exclusionary sororities’ slighting black girls. After all, it is a private organization and they can choose their members without feeling any guilt about their choices. Alpha Kappa Alpha, and the Black Student Alliance are able to pick their members with immunity to criticism. My suggestion is to get over it and grow up about reality.

  • y’12@D08

    My thoughts exactly. I wonder what happens when a black girl shows up who likes to wear her hair natural.

  • Amber

    This rush chair just seems like she is angling for a job at Glamour Magazine when she graduates as she clearly fancies herself the next Stacy London. I mean SIX pages of “tips”? Seriously, not only is she bossy and mean but clearly anal retentive to boot.

    Her fashion tips are shit anyway (I mean, really, Tory Burch flats? REALLY? So three years ago, sweetheart). Methinks Madame Rush has been watching too many episode of The Hills.

  • Amber

    This rush chair just seems like she is angling for a job at Glamour Magazine when she graduates as she clearly fancies herself the next Stacy London. I mean SIX pages of “tips”? Seriously, not only is she bossy and mean but clearly anal retentive to boot.

    Her fashion tips are shit anyway (I mean, really, Tory Burch flats? REALLY? So three years ago, sweetheart). Methinks Madame Rush has been watching too many episode of The Hills.

  • ananya

    jesus, i am kinda glad that i will be attending university in the U.K. no one will give two hoots if i go anywhere without blush/eyeliner/coloured hair/etcetc

  • ananya

    jesus, i am kinda glad that i will be attending university in the U.K. no one will give two hoots if i go anywhere without blush/eyeliner/coloured hair/etcetc

  • cornell07

    ananya – *snort* Good luck with that. Depending where you go, conditions could be even worse.

  • cornell07

    ananya – *snort* Good luck with that. Depending where you go, conditions could be even worse.

  • Myrth

    I am in agreement with the style tips obviously targeting whites. NCAAP should slap a discrimination suit on the sorority and/or the person(s) responsible for writing and approving this crap. As long as a black girl showed up without a watch, a high pony-tail, good skin, fresh lips (The author of the style guide probably inspects both sets of lips; she’s weird like that.), long pants, and non-cheap looking shoes–what would keep her from being recruited? Oh–I forgot, she doesn’t have the sleek hair… And the black girl probably has too much dignity and sense of self-worth to waste her time with snotty, white chicks.

    Cornell07: Good luck with whatever your “that” is too.

  • Myrth

    I am in agreement with the style tips obviously targeting whites. NCAAP should slap a discrimination suit on the sorority and/or the person(s) responsible for writing and approving this crap. As long as a black girl showed up without a watch, a high pony-tail, good skin, fresh lips (The author of the style guide probably inspects both sets of lips; she’s weird like that.), long pants, and non-cheap looking shoes–what would keep her from being recruited? Oh–I forgot, she doesn’t have the sleek hair… And the black girl probably has too much dignity and sense of self-worth to waste her time with snotty, white chicks.

    Cornell07: Good luck with whatever your “that” is too.

  • SGKingsley

    @cornell07:

    Definitely goes for St. Andrews, Durham, Exeter, RAC, etc., all the posh public-school universities.

  • SGKingsley

    @cornell07:

    Definitely goes for St. Andrews, Durham, Exeter, RAC, etc., all the posh public-school universities.

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  • observer

    I find it interesting that it there are so many haters against sororities. If you don’t like the Greek system, don’t join. Maybe you did try and join but didn’t make the cut. Maybe you obsessed while dating a sorority girl and got dumped. These comments should bring the haters out in full!

    Top national sororities like Pi Beta Phi aka ‘Pi Beta Bitch”, Delta Gamma aka “Can’t spell DOG with DG, Kappa Alpha Theta aka “Theta Potatah”, or Kappa Kappa Gamma aka “Kappa Kappa Cattle” are trashed for being elitist bitches. 

    Sororities that may have less ‘stellar’ reputations, are trashed as having uglier, fatter, sluttier girls Haters think all sorority women are dumb, rich sluts. It must be great to be so self-righteous that you can hate so much on a stereotype. Sorority Hater, what do you think of yourself when you look in a mirror? Don’t spend your time hating on them. Why don’t you do something constructive with your time and life…. like die alone and poor? I’m not hating on non-Greeks, I’m just saying…….