Oops! Wesleyan Accidentally Frames Cornell Prof for Murder
Pop quiz! Stephen P. Morgan and Stephen L. Morgan: Can you spot the difference?
The former is a 29-year-old, anti-semitic, wig-wearing, gun-toting, “okay to kill Jews and go on a killing spree”-journaling skeez, charged with the recent murder of former classmate Johanna Justin-Jinich. The latter is a 38-year-old sociology professor, Harvard grad and Rhodes Scholar, who heads up Cornell’s Center for the Study of Inequality. Stumped? Here’s a hint: they look about as similar as Penn and Teller.
If you’re still confused, don’t worry; Wesleyan administrators were also left head-scratching. They circulated the Cornell professor’s photo—rather than the student’s—to police officers, employees, undergraduates and, oh, the global newsmedia, in connection with the murder. Doh!
Here’s the amiable academic formerly known as madman murder-suspect:
I said to my wife when it happened, “We have the same name, but thank God I don’t look like him.” I knew the whole thing was going on because it was such a big story, but to see myself inserted directly into it was very shocking.
All jokes aside, this unequivocally sucks. Remember Yale’s similar snafu in the aftermath of the still unsolved Susanne Jovin murder? The Bulldogs leaked the name of her obviously-innocent thesis advisor to the media, and started rumors that the pair were having an affair; it ruined his career. So much for learning from your mistakes, higher education. Well, at least Wesleyan has the dignity to apologize—to state publicly that they made a mistake, and confirm that Prof. Morgan is not, in fact, a homicidal maniac. Right…?
All they’ve said is they regret this happened to me, which sounded to me like something written by a lawyer.
Good lord. Pic comparisons, textbook academic arrogance, litigation and Roger Rabbit after the jump.
Is Wesleyan run by blind barristers? Well, maybe just douchebags: Apparently, they waffled for three hours—after a stern talking to from the police—before removing the prof’s photo from their website. The lackadaisical Cardinals also ignored remonstrances from scores of students and tipsters, informing them that they had majorly fucked up.
Now, they won’t even give the wrongly accused Cornellite an apology. This is just classless. We’re all for tort reform, but Stephen P: sue the bastards! Oh good, you have:
Morgan’s lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Middletown Superior Court, claims “humiliation, mental anguish and emotional distress … and injury to his career.” It seeks unspecified monetary damages for what it calls Wesleyan’s recklessness and negligence.
Wesleyan—apparently too busy nursing its inferiority complex, listening to MGMT, playing frisbee, braiding its hair and refurbishing its clothing-optional dorms—declined comment.
Now, it’s easy to mistake one person for another in a moment of passion (just ask my exes), but honestly, this is academic assholery elevated to high art… Really, Wesleyan? You’re swarming with professors and students, and you still can’t tell the difference? (A Facebook search for ‘Stephen Morgan’ yields over 4,900 hits.) And now you won’t even man up and say sorry?
IvyGate feels for Cornell Professor Stephen L. (got that?) Morgan and hopes that students will not stand for these rude, myopic shenanigans. You’d better be careful, Wesleyan. Carry on like this—with frame-jobs and disrespectful douchery—and you’ll confirm all of the snickerings of the faux-elite: “granola-y, Commie-run Ivy-safety.” Don’t make me believe it, you adorable hippies; do the right thing.
Prof. Stephen P. Morgan: balding, not a murderer
VS.
Stephen L. Morgan: super trustworthy-looking
And because we like to include late 80s cartoon slash human movies with reaaaaally attractive (cartoon) female leads…
