Ivy Sports Roundup: Cornell Triumphs, Penn Wrestlers Ready to Rumble Again
Even over holiday break, sport marches on in the Ivy League — and not just for those of us skiing at Aspen (we lost our invitation this year, otherwise we’d be there with you all!).
The Pennsylvanian reports that three seniors have been reinstated to the wrestling team after an arrest subsequent to an “October 3 incident” that the Pennsylvanian is too genteel to disclose. We’re not! Nor was the Hartford Examiner, which reported that the three wrestlers had been arrested for aggravated assault and reckless endangerment and that they might well be “among Penn’s best matmen.” Their suspension had been for “violation of departmental policy,” an issue settled just in time for the Southern Scuffle tourney.
How lucky that, as the Pennsylvanian implies, the wrestlers’ most recent court appearance was moved up so that their case could be dismissed in time for the tournament. So many things we’ll never understand about wrestling! And we saw the Mickey Rourke movie, even.
After the jump, deep analysis and a video of Mickey Rourke shopping for lesbians.
The most interesting thing about the Sun’s article about Cornell taking the MSG Holiday Festival tournament is this photo caption:
Don’t worry, he’s got ‘the situation’ under control.
The word “situation” isn’t used anywhere else in the article, so we’ll assume it’s a Jersey Shore homage, referring to captain Jon Jaques’ making a plate of sausage and peppers before going to Wildwood to pick up some Parliament Lights on the boardwalk. Or, you know, winning a tournament over St. John’s at Madison Square Garden!
Bravo to Cornell for not, as is their wont, losing “the advantage in the second stanza,” an apparently non-misused poetic term that reminds us that we have some books left over from Christmas to read.
Let Mickey’s shaky hand and questionable judgment remind you what too much booze will do to you in the meantime. Be safe tonight, kids.
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January 1st, 2010 at 3:17 am
I understand that we’re an athletic conference. But, honestly, who gives a shit?
January 1st, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Agreed. Go to an Ivy League athletic event and count how many people do you see? Please stick to topics of celebrity and money, thanks.
January 4th, 2010 at 11:57 pm
is there a reason that you are writing “the pennsylvanian” on this post? is this your way of being funny?