We wrote off this video of the Harvard Quidditch Team running around clutching wood between their legs as a (kind of sad) joke, at first. Then we did some research. THIS SHIT IS REAL!!!

By the looks of both national and local news coverage of Ivy League quidditch, the sport is spreading faster than chlamydia amongst teenagers in the plot of a LifeTime movie. According to NECN, over 200 colleges are riding shafts and juggling balls in the Harry Potter tradition. Even Alana Biden, team co-founder and niece of Vice President Joe Biden, is straddling for the new Cantab club sport.

According to the Crimson:

Rush and team co-founder Alana J. Biden ’11 received a $600 club sports grant to fund their equipment, which, according to Rush, is the typical sum allotted to a club team. The team used the money to purchase two Quaffles (volleyballs in Muggle parlance), two Bludgers (kickballs), three hoops for use as goals, and 14 broomsticks.

These brooms, which were the priciest item on the team’s shopping list, were purchased to comply with Intercollegiate Quidditch Association (IQA) regulations. The team bought 14 Scarlet Hawk brooms—for a total of $583.10—from Alivan’s, a Florida-based company that markets Harry Potter-themed products.

Are you kids out of your minds?! That’s nearly $42 per broom!!! For a sport made up by a foxy blonde who smiled when her publicist cupped her Bludgers at the British Book Awards, couldn’t you make this game a little bit more interesting? Count the innuendos in this post and get back to us.

After the jump, videos from On Harvard Time, our favorite quotes about quidditch, and the picture of Rowling getting groped.

While gaping at that, have another look at what co-captain Stacy Rush had to say about getting on sticks:

The teams great. It’s so much fun flying around on your broomsticks. Now, they look like they don’t fly. In practice, we don’t fly around on them because we’re surrounded by Muggles. And we can’t break our statute of secrecy which is our code of law in the wizarding world.

As usual, On Harvard Time nails it. This one features a young boy in a leotard with fairy wings.