Dartmouth Rowdies Taunt Harvard Squash Players With “Bagel,” and Other Hurtful Things

Beagle puppy 400You have your indoor voice, you have your outdoor voice, and — if you’re a Dartmouth soccer player — you have your hurling-homophobic-obscenities-in-the-very-tight-quarters-of-a-squash-court voice.

I know what you are thinking, and yes, squash is not for the faint of heart even on a good day. It is a blood orgy, squash. But at the Dartmouth vs. Harvard matchup on Dec. 5,  the men’s soccer players in the audience got out of hand. Per local newspaper The Valley News:

Words such as “dick,” “fag” and “—-sucker” were repeatedly shouted at the visitors Wednesday, many times with “f——” added as an adjective. Harvard’s female players eventually sought the protection of an assistant coach after they said they were called “whores” and “sluts” while they cheered on their male peers. While playing his match, Franklin Cohen was told he had small genitals and asked if he liked bagels, a phrase his mother viewed as a reference to the family’s Jewish surname.

Squash! Sullied!

However! Hold your anti-Semitic horses! There is an explanation for the “bagels” thing, and I actually buy it. In sports, when you have a shutout, that is sometimes called a bagel; it is a thing you say. “We discussed whether to say doughnut or bagel and obviously we decided to use the wrong word,” one of the offenders told the Valley News. “There was no anti-Semitism behind that.” Sustained!

As for the other stuff, yeesh. Now, granted, it is very cold in Hanover (26 that day!) and people can contract the cabin fever. When I am cold, however, I drink hot cocoa and read Caridad Scordato’s sizzling “Enchanto” novels. What I do not do is go bonkers and start berating women at a goddamn squash game!

The difference between good and bad bleacher lunacy is not a fine line to master, Dartmouth boys.

  • Dressing in “a full-body parrot costume“: awesome.
  • “A young man … raised his shirt and asked nearby Harvard women’s players if they wanted ‘a piece of this’“: awesome, provided the gentleman was fat!
  • Calling people whores and cocksuckers: not very awesome!

One of the captains of the Dartmouth men’s soccer team wrote a campus-wide apology email after the shenanigans, disputing some of the account but still taking full responsibility. That is awesome!

26 Responses to “Dartmouth Rowdies Taunt Harvard Squash Players With “Bagel,” and Other Hurtful Things”

  1. p Says:

    WHY ARE YOU BOLDING EVERY OTHER WORD

  2. p Says:

    WHY ARE YOU BOLDING EVERY OTHER WORD

  3. Commi Killer Says:

    Well done, Dartmouth! Harvard kids need some good old-fashioned verbal abuse.

  4. Commi Killer Says:

    Well done, Dartmouth! Harvard kids need some good old-fashioned verbal abuse.

  5. Cool-umbia '08 Says:

    Nice work, men’s soccer! Not only do you play a sport irrelevant in this country and the Ivy League, you’re brought Dartmouth down to the level of The Citadel.

  6. Cool-umbia '08 Says:

    Nice work, men’s soccer! Not only do you play a sport irrelevant in this country and the Ivy League, you’re brought Dartmouth down to the level of The Citadel.

  7. JimmyB Says:

    Someone from Columbia stating Soccer is irrelevant in the Ivy League?? Soooo what sports are relevant? Archery? Fencing?

  8. JimmyB Says:

    Someone from Columbia stating Soccer is irrelevant in the Ivy League?? Soooo what sports are relevant? Archery? Fencing?

  9. AMDAL Says:

    This has already been covered by Dartmouth squash alumni, with better and more accurate insight: http://www.allmydealsarelive.com/2009/12/dart-uncouth.html

  10. AMDAL Says:

    This has already been covered by Dartmouth squash alumni, with better and more accurate insight: http://www.allmydealsarelive.com/2009/12/dart-uncouth.html

  11. y10 Says:

    claaaaaaaassy, Dartmouth

  12. y10 Says:

    claaaaaaaassy, Dartmouth

  13. sasha Says:

    Keep crying y10. People need to grow up. If you’ve ever been to a Boston sporting event wearing ANY other jersey, your experience would be 50 times worse than the good old-fashioned rivalry at the squash event. Would that warrant an alarmist Valley News piece too? These people are children. Get ’em Dartmouth!

  14. sasha Says:

    Keep crying y10. People need to grow up. If you’ve ever been to a Boston sporting event wearing ANY other jersey, your experience would be 50 times worse than the good old-fashioned rivalry at the squash event. Would that warrant an alarmist Valley News piece too? These people are children. Get ’em Dartmouth!

  15. malia Says:

    Sasha,

    Valley News wasn’t reporting on a Boston sports event, rather a smaller university sports event in which a group a people were shouting rude things to the point that people started to take notice of them, warranting a news piece.

    xx,

    Sis

  16. malia Says:

    Sasha,

    Valley News wasn’t reporting on a Boston sports event, rather a smaller university sports event in which a group a people were shouting rude things to the point that people started to take notice of them, warranting a news piece.

    xx,

    Sis

  17. em Says:

    “The Harvard men, 3-0 and ranked No. 5 in the country, defeated No. 8 Dartmouth 6-3 and dropped the Big Green’s record to 3-1. The Crimson women posted a 9-0 victory.”

    go get ’em darthmouth indeed..

    alas, screaming profanities doesn’t win you games, at least not in this case.

  18. em Says:

    “The Harvard men, 3-0 and ranked No. 5 in the country, defeated No. 8 Dartmouth 6-3 and dropped the Big Green’s record to 3-1. The Crimson women posted a 9-0 victory.”

    go get ’em darthmouth indeed..

    alas, screaming profanities doesn’t win you games, at least not in this case.

  19. PENN-TENN Says:

    YES— bolding random words ≠ awesome
    The word “bonkers” ≠ awesome
    Your article and coverage ≠ awesome

    …but it was satisfactory.

  20. PENN-TENN Says:

    YES— bolding random words ≠ awesome
    The word “bonkers” ≠ awesome
    Your article and coverage ≠ awesome

    …but it was satisfactory.

  21. D'12 Says:

    sorry we like to party

  22. D'12 Says:

    sorry we like to party

  23. d10 Says:

    christ this has been so overblown it is ridiculous. if you read the crimson’s article describing the squash matches there is NO MENTION of any poor behavior by the dartmouth fans. i feel for jim kim for having to apologize. as someone who was at the game, participating in the heckling, the valley news article was the most sensationalist thing I’ve read in a long time. If you ask every single person that was at the squash game, save the guy who wrote the original article and Cohen’s parents, they would agree. A bunch of drunk college kids attending a sports game and heckling? Clearly not anything new. I feel bad for Cohen who has to live with a million articles written about his parents whining.

  24. d10 Says:

    christ this has been so overblown it is ridiculous. if you read the crimson’s article describing the squash matches there is NO MENTION of any poor behavior by the dartmouth fans. i feel for jim kim for having to apologize. as someone who was at the game, participating in the heckling, the valley news article was the most sensationalist thing I’ve read in a long time. If you ask every single person that was at the squash game, save the guy who wrote the original article and Cohen’s parents, they would agree. A bunch of drunk college kids attending a sports game and heckling? Clearly not anything new. I feel bad for Cohen who has to live with a million articles written about his parents whining.

  25. Carl Says:

    “cool-umbia”: that is a really dumb name.
    em: dartmouth mens squash beat harvard 5-4 earlier in the season. this particular match they were missing two players who were injured….

  26. Carl Says:

    “cool-umbia”: that is a really dumb name.
    em: dartmouth mens squash beat harvard 5-4 earlier in the season. this particular match they were missing two players who were injured….

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