Don’t Drink the Coffee at Harvard. Or You Will Die.

Bad CoffeeThe Boston Herald reported Sunday that SIX lab workers in Harvard Medical School’s New Research Building immediately fell ill after drinking out of the hallway coffee machine. Jokes hover around most offices that that shit tastes like poison, but this coffee actually contained the deadly poison sodium azide.

But wait, there’s more:

One of the victims, contacted and their identity confirmed by the Herald, said they were told by the university not to speak about the incident. Privately, however, they said they do not feel it was an accident, though they could not say why someone would target that group.

THIS HAPPENED TWO MONTHS AGO. Not only did Harvard instruct the victims to keep the incident a secret, but both the Boston Police and Harvard Police are apparently holding off on investigating it until now.

The obvious Yale parallel after the jump.

Of course, Gawker immediately commented on the news with the obvious plea to flee the scene for students:

Harvard is still being weirdly tight-lipped about the investigation of, ahem, Attempted Murder Most Foul. For PR reasons, doubtlessly—they saw what happened at Yale in the Annie Le case. Although they do note they’re “installing more security cameras” in the medical school. So if you med students are gonna fuck there, fuck quick.

There’s something about those medical students. Maybe it’s some weird knee-jerk reaction to being forced to stay up for days on end in order to learn how to save lives. Or it might be how HMS has a history of denying its students constitutional rights.

Either way, next time you want to take a research job, head to Dartmouth.

  • D12, dirty dozen

    YAY! Someone mentioned us.

  • D12, dirty dozen

    YAY! Someone mentioned us.

  • hedgehog

    Let me get this straight: Absolutely no coverage of 1) the Homecoming bonfire, 2) the beating of Columbia by 0-17 Dartmouth the same weekend, or 3) Yale-Dartmouth bladderball. But oh sure, randomly mention Dartmouth at the end of yet another boring Harvard post. This site needs an overhaul.

  • hedgehog

    Let me get this straight: Absolutely no coverage of 1) the Homecoming bonfire, 2) the beating of Columbia by 0-17 Dartmouth the same weekend, or 3) Yale-Dartmouth bladderball. But oh sure, randomly mention Dartmouth at the end of yet another boring Harvard post. This site needs an overhaul.

  • Y11

    Oh hedgehog. Your school spirit is admirable, but there was no “Yale-Dartmouth bladderball.” There was Yale-Yale bladderball, and it’s possible a bunch of other schools were inspired and tried to have their own games afterwards, but there has only ever been, and only ever will be, one game of bladderball worth mentioning: The original.

  • Y11

    Oh hedgehog. Your school spirit is admirable, but there was no “Yale-Dartmouth bladderball.” There was Yale-Yale bladderball, and it’s possible a bunch of other schools were inspired and tried to have their own games afterwards, but there has only ever been, and only ever will be, one game of bladderball worth mentioning: The original.

  • D12, dirty dozen

    While I detest HYP snobbery, I am going to have to concede on this one, hedgehog. But only because I want Yale to have that makes them happy.

  • D12, dirty dozen

    While I detest HYP snobbery, I am going to have to concede on this one, hedgehog. But only because I want Yale to have that makes them happy.

  • HMS Employee

    I work in the NRB. We’re all a bit freaked out that there’s a would be murderer roving the building.

    On Monday someone flyered the building lampooning the knee-jerk ‘security’ reaction. As if paranoia will stop an inside job. Here’s to hoping that no one gets shoved behind a wall.

  • HMS Employee

    I work in the NRB. We’re all a bit freaked out that there’s a would be murderer roving the building.

    On Monday someone flyered the building lampooning the knee-jerk ‘security’ reaction. As if paranoia will stop an inside job. Here’s to hoping that no one gets shoved behind a wall.

  • @y11

    Did I say bladderball involved Dartmouth? No. I was referring to events related to Dartmouth that (despite D not being involved this year), had more relevance than the inclusion at the end of this post.

  • @y11

    Did I say bladderball involved Dartmouth? No. I was referring to events related to Dartmouth that (despite D not being involved this year), had more relevance than the inclusion at the end of this post.

  • @@y11

    What other connotation could “Yale-Dartmouth bladderball” possibly have? You’re better off wrong than unintelligible.

  • @@y11

    What other connotation could “Yale-Dartmouth bladderball” possibly have? You’re better off wrong than unintelligible.

  • http://coffeeforless.org/ Ruth Fernandez

    I usually just go to Dunkin Donuts for my coffee. After reading this I think I’ll take your advice and try some new things.

  • http://coffeeforless.org Ruth Fernandez

    I usually just go to Dunkin Donuts for my coffee. After reading this I think I’ll take your advice and try some new things.

  • http://bestcoffeeclubs.com/blog/ Coffee of the Month Clubs

    I guess the university told that so that the issue will be within them and the university, because when this leaked up to the students they will be alarmed and the university's reputation will be greatly affected especially that Harvard is one of the famous schools in the planet.

  • http://www.koffietmolentje.be Laurent

    What has it come to when people start doing poisoning coffee?