The Derek Zoolander Extracurricular for Kids Who Can’t Read Good
The profoundly self-obsessed must be truly profound to catch our attention. Recently, in New Haven, profundity has once again reached a high—or low, depending on how you look at it—in Yale’s Movement for Beauty and Justice. Mission statement: Beautiful people are fucking awesome!
Our society is in a state of crisis. Political and social structures have disregarded the collective implications of our individual actions for too long. We live in a world of inequality, social injustice, and conflict.
We believe that promoting the proliferation, creation, and realization of diverse forms of beauty in the world will unite humanity and lead to a more just society.
Founders Justine Kolata and Ric Hernández ‘11 are pictured to the right. (At least their bunnies, "Beauty" and "Justice," somehow have the good sense to hide their faces.)
The Movement for BJ [our own abbreviation] seems straight out of Elle Woods’s HLS admissions video, but perhaps it's something more?
After the jump, the mission of what should be called The Movement for Butterflies and Pajama Bottoms and Cupcakes and Snugglebumblywumpsies.
The artfully nebulous philosophy that they spout on their website makes the Movement sound just about as legitimate as the Human Fund. They pledge to “facilitate the adoption of beautiful practices” and to pursue “diverse large-scale projects…with partner organizations and NGOs,” yet their actual meetings consist of “star gazing” and “general merriment.” (WTF does that even mean?)
Now let's check out the Movement for BJ’s word salad. You'll definitely become dumber by reading it, but at least they break their "Complete Philosophy" down into simple steps. Here's a summary:
MISSION: A Two-Tiered System
...[run on sentence redacted]...
Mission One: Beauty
The World is an endless supply of beauty...
Mission Two: Justice
We recognize that extreme material deprivation and social inequality can prevent one from finding greater happiness in beauty...
Connection Between Mission One & Mission Two: Beauty & Justice
...Beauty as a higher value leads to a more just society, and acts of justice lead to the proliferation of the beauty that exists in the world.
Guys, you sound INSANE. Worse than a reading of “Ode on a Grecian Urn” by a white kid with dreadlocks drinking straight patchouli oil in a Williamsburg coffee shop. But then again, let’s take another look at the illustrious founders’ biographies:
Ric [that's right, still no "k"] Hernández’s first memory consists of pushing a red wheelbarrow through the backyard of his day care in which to collect the prettiest leaves from every tree.
Scratch that—it’s what would happen if Michael Scott read William Carlos Williams while on a pedophillic binge. For those of us not fortunate enough to be in the blast radius of such wondrous stupidity, the Yale Daily News covered the Movement’s appearance at the Freshman Bazaar:
[Kolata] was walking around Beinecke Plaza holding a rabbit and handing out small pieces of paper to unsuspecting freshmen…“You should join the Movement!” Kolata said. “The Movement for Beauty and Justice!”
Thanks, Squeaky Fromme, but no thanks. But wait—perhaps we don’t understand the Movement for BJ’s true purpose. Surely the YDN’s account of their first meeting will prove us wrong if we keep reading it!
Kolata was dancing around most of the time, recalling ancient times, when people used to dance around wearing white, loose clothes. Hernández, on the other hand, was busy immortalizing the gathering by taking numerous pictures.
Ah.
It doesn’t escape us that the Movement for Beauty and Justice could be a joke, and if it is, it’s genius. Maybe creating a flawlessly idiotic pseudo-organization is the latest initiation hurdle for aspiring Bonesmen to face. But if they’re for real, then Kolata and Hernández hope to share their Kool-Aid with the world beyond Yale:
Future [Movement] events include…[a picnic] with ‘members of the New Haven homeless community…’
That’s exactly what every down-on-his-luck, possible recovering addict needs: ditzy, deluded admissions mistakes waving cute, fluffly, delicious rabbits in his face. At least they've got their looks?
44 Comments | 
| 
Print This Post
Read more: batshit crazy, crazy, Justine Kolata, movement for beauty and justice, movement for bj, Ric Hernández, Yale, Yale Daily News
Email – 
Search
About
Follow us on Twitter
Report a bug
Archives
RSS Feed
September 24th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
holy shit that girl is ugly as crap.
September 24th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Not to say anything about her group, but one unflattering picture doesn’t prove anything; the girl is absolutely gorgeous.
September 24th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Go ahead. Try to be more of an asshole.
September 24th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
@ Yale ‘12
No doubt she’s probably gorgeous, but is she hot enough to merit that much crazy?
September 24th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
THANK YOU. She is hot as hell, but definitely batshit crazy. DEFINITELY.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
either a farce or a cult. perhaps both. but either way, this story is comedy gold.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
She is hot, sure. In the way any girl with a tight body and iota of make-up and care becomes attractive but beautiful, as in naturally, effortlessly summoning care and admiration in a crowd?
Do you NOT see her nose and chin?
The guy is just ugly. Honestly reading QC, waxing your eyebrows and spending hundreds of dollars dressing like an NYU sophomore doesn’t fill a vacant formless face.
I would normally not be as direct but if you’re gonna start a club glorifying aesthetic supremacy; meet your own damn standards. Otherwise it’s just sort of laughable, really.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
^Isn’t that the point? They’re both obsessed with a superficial form of beauty–the kind found in a cosmetic bottle, or promulgated by fashion magazines–as a means of distracting from their otherwise bland appearances.
So they have a mutual interest and started a club!
September 24th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
What. The. Fuck. What in the world are you people looking at? She’s average at best. There’s so much fucking space on her face and the nose is hideous. Wow.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
I happened on one of their events on cross campus a few weeks ago. Music, candles, cake, cookies, tea… it was pretty neat, if you could get over the horrifying commune-ness of it all.
September 25th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Am I the only one who can see the obvious (and copious) air-brushing on that photo?
September 25th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Hey…
The execution is def. out there, but it’s actually a pretty nice idea. So far they’ve just done some events to encourage people to appreciate beautiful things around them, like playing live music, or sending kind notes to people, or encouraging people to look up at the interesting architecture we have.
Most yale undergrads are so busy with work and their crowded schedules… i think it’s nice that there are people encouraging us to slow down and enjoy what’s beautiful in life. Plus they let you play with their bunnies…
September 25th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
this picture doesn’t do her beauty any justice.
as for this campaign— it is the result of some significant looseness of the mental screws and complete separation from the real world. she’s oblivious. not something uncommon at Yale, but rarely celebrated like this. give her some credit for putting her craziness out there. better than keeping it to yourself and occasionally doing weird ass shit to your friends and suitemates.
am i right?
September 25th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Thank you OnBroadway, yes.
September 25th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I think this faces what the organization is up against….a bunch of bitter people who are too unhappy in their lives to do anything beyond indulge themselves. Sad really. Maybe if they read the mission statement for what it actually is they would learn something.
September 25th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
This post and these comments are bizarre as hell. Sure, this organization sounds whack-a-doodle, but the comments either insult this curious-looking girl’s appearance or seem to be posted by folk actually affiliated with the group. No one’s really saying anything, but everyone’s screaming. It’s like a work of art.
September 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I’m just going to say that something gives me the feeling they’re dead serious…
http://www.facebook.com/justine.kolata?ref=search&sid=1084381643.567940387..1
September 27th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
It seems to me that most people on this forum are the ones obsessed with the superficial, aesthetic form of beauty considering the attacks on Justine and her friend. The MBJ is focused on inner beauty (among other things), which is something that is not readily appreciated by most people and usually dismissed as unimportant. Justine sees the importance of it and I for one, admire her for taking this to the next level and trying to put a little bit of life and beauty into our cynical society. She is very sincere and genuine about this. In addition, according to the Yale Herald, she is working on research with professors in the Psych department “to research a possible causal connection between exposure to beauty and a tendency towards morally-conscious behavior” and pushing for a Human Rights major at Yale.
http://yaleherald.com/news/the-movement-for-beauty-and-justice-takes-over-yale/
September 27th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
She is beautiful. She’s also batshit bonkers. But, more importantly, the problem with her solipsistic clusterfuck of an organization isn’t that they look at the stars and play with bunnies, that’s cute and nice, sort of, it’s that THEY ACTUALLY THINK THEY’RE DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
September 27th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Justine Kolata is not the Britney Spears of Yale. She’s just a girl with a club, even if it’s an eccentric one. Her looks and opinions do not need to be blog fodder. I’m genuinely disturbed that so many people completely unrelated to her Movement or even Yale find themselves qualified enough to pass harsh judgements on her.
I would also like the readers to note how easy it is for women’s endeavors to be artificially linked to their looks. Almost none of the comments on this post have said anything about Ric, his hair, or how batshit crazy he must be as well. I know that IvyGate is not the right blog to preach social responsibility, but let’s give a second thought to the portrayal of women in the media before we make presumptions about airbrushing.
September 27th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
This is lame.
September 27th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
I’m pretty sure this was already the biggest joke circulating my entryway like a week ago. Make sure to check out their diagram on their website, its logic is flawless.
September 28th, 2009 at 1:03 am
@k13
no, it’s just funny that someone with a message of spreading “beauty”–and a beauty which you say should be an inner beauty–seems to care quite a bit about their looks. Hell, she might be a ray of inner beauty for all i know, but she sure as hell puts a lot of thought into outer beauty as well.
now that you mention it, ric’s hair is absolutely ridiculous, you’re right. he’s probably on the same page as she is.
September 28th, 2009 at 1:43 am
“to research a possible causal connection between exposure to beauty and a tendency towards morally-conscious behavior”
Hasn’t this been proven wrong LONG AGO?
And the idea that prancing around with victorian tea cups on the Yale Lawn is somehow a grander moral gesture than actually volunteering with an organization that is WORKING to fight poverty and feed the hungry…? Good god, privileged white do-gooder people are stupid.
September 28th, 2009 at 1:50 am
I feel like most of the people commenting didn’t even read the article. This club isn’t about physical beauty. It isn’t a club for supermodels. So why all the comments about Ric’s and Justine’s looks? I mean, even I think the club is kind of strange, but I’d never go as far as to call someone “ugly.” Especially either of these students who obviously are attractive people. I’d like to see what “Wow” and “Please…” look like.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
He’s like a preppy Joe Dirt.
September 28th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
This is one of the best Ivygate pieces I’ve seen in a while.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
I think that whoever wrote the above article is a profoundly sad person; this goes for a majority of the commentors as well. If you don’t think that having genuinely good intentions —and believe me, Justine has nothing but those— should be valued and respected, then your conception of what is worthy in life is deeply misguided. Of course, the Movement’s philosophy grounding (though anyone familiar with Plato knows that Ms. Kolata could relatively easily find this) and plan of action might be questioned, but do you all really think that trying to do something good for the world is bad? That it deserves such slander, despite some need for development on the intellectual side? Have we Ivy Leaguers truly gotten to this point? I believe that Miss Fitzpatrick needs to question why, exactly, she is writing this article, and we as readers need to question why we choose to give our time and attention to this kind of malice.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:51 am
It’s really not fair of the ivygate to paint these two in such a vapid light. They might have eccentric ideas but that’s no reason for ridicule. (Especially when some of these ideas seem ridiculously awesome and great fun: painting chalk messages, reading poetry, having parties in the woods) Refrain from making comments if this just isn’t your thing. And who cares if they seem to put a lot of effort in their looks? That’s a personal choice.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Dear Miss. Fitzpatrick,
I feel so sorry for you. I hope that you get better and loose your bitterness, malice and hatred, and ugliness which radiates from both yourself and your idiotic excuse for a piece of writing. I happened to come upon this issue and while this has nothing to do with looks, you just note them because you yourself are hideous in every which way and form and discern only pathetic qualities. Reading this piece of crap which sounds like a blaring horn void of any content is a waste of my time, and makes me only grateful to know Miss. Kolata who is the most genuine, sincere, intelligent, driven, compassionate, individual who has helped changed my life through MBJ which I am extremely proud to say. So I hope that you and your trashy followers with not a thought in their heads can learn from someone who is far, far greater a person than you will ever be.
So get well ! You are a very sick and sad individual.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Perfectly amusing Miss Molly.
An excellent reality check. This is funny stuff about people taking themselves too seriously.
September 29th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Uh oh, it looks as if the membership of the Movement for Beauty and Justice (guffaw!) was up late last night. After an evening of general merriment and having consumed overly generous quantities of Kool-aid, the little devils must have gotten hopping mad and swarmed to defend the honor of their exalted leaders. The legend of the Movement grows unabated!
Hands down, the funniest post of the year!
September 29th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Nice hack job all you future Dick Cheneys of the world, but Beauty and Justice will prevail inspite of you
September 29th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Justine usually looks way better than in this picture. Plus, she’s actually a really nice girl, if a bit out-there. Ric is really nice, too. I think they both just liked the idea of doing something that would capture people’s attention, even if their “movement” seems kind of ridiculous.
September 30th, 2009 at 1:33 am
first of all we can put the argument about Justine’s looks to rest because she is obviously gorgeous and anyone who has seen her in person knows this is the case and is just jealous otherwise.
Secondly she has a golden heart and is a beautiful person (and by beautiful I am using the organization’s definition where “goodness and morality are integral”.)
So please do something better with the ivy league education you are getting that could be better spent on another person. Your taking up spots to write bitter poorly articulated comments online. Maybe try doing something with your life.
September 30th, 2009 at 1:49 am
Its gunna be interesting when she’s the first hot president and this fugly girl is still blogging at home…
October 1st, 2009 at 4:39 am
Excellent article, Molly. Spot on.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:59 am
oooh yeah i can totally see how this is a “well written excellent article, that is just sooooooooooooooo funny!” that is if you like reading a load of fucking crap with no content and laughing at someone in return. this girl is sick, sick , sick and filled with bad qualities.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:37 pm
It appears that most of the Beauty and Justice sycophants are just illiterate high school dropouts, judging from their inelegant prose (see: usage of “fugly,” redundantly repetitive vowels, accusations that the writer is totes a bitter, hideous fatty). This manages to be both sad and heart-warmingly hilarious!
October 1st, 2009 at 11:34 pm
It’s easy to take potshots, especially when you don’t know the person, don’t attend the school, and don’t attempt to understand their ideas. These personal attacks disgust me, and frankly you should be ashamed for writing this crap. Whatever MBJ does, at least it’s not mean spirited, which is more than I can say about this author. I can’t imagine how small a person you must be. Long story short, whether you’re for MBJ or not, at least you’re not Molly Fitzpatrick–I hope I never meet you.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am
MBJ cured my syphilis and helped me get straight A’s!
October 19th, 2009 at 3:36 am
howwwww did i not see this earlier??? i have GOT to start checking ivygate more often… i can’t decide which is better, the salacious thrill i feel when i see people making fun of idiots, or the pitter-patter of my heart when i read the impotent, righteous, angry posts defending idiots. written by idiots, naturally. so much goodness. i could just roll around in the tears i’m sure justine kolata and “ric” whatshisname shed when they saw people had called them ugly. i know that the tears of the pure fetch a high price on the black market for their isotonic properties in anti-aging. of course, these are usually extracted by torturing children, but in this case, making self-proclaimed innocents feel shame is just as good.
and to everyone who called molly fitzgerald ’sick’ for making fun of someone, pot, kettle, have you met?
October 20th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Ric Hernández looks extremely gay. His Facebook photos are worse.
November 17th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Justine is an eminently kind person. and bonkers. but you really should leave her alone, she never did anything to deserve this kind of ridicule.