Ragtime September 25, 2009: “Sorry, we don’t have Choco Tacos. Would you prefer a Brocco Taco?”
Columbia: Nepal’s prime minister delivers address, attendees distracted by his funny hat- Cornell: Collegetown traffic light to be replaced, students to petition against the invasion of evil traffic signal corporations
- Dartmouth: Green buildings actually closer to chartreuse
- Harvard: Hillel students filmed for South Korean TV, attempt to explain why dog isn’t kosher
- Penn: University to be visited by the worst ice cream truck ever
- Princeton: Student arrested for throwing beer at Cottage Club security guard, club suing for damages caused by low-quality beer on lawn
- Princeton: Butler dorm to be named for John Bogle ‘51 after turning down offer from Mr. and Mrs. Katzenjammer W. Rectum, Esq.
- Yale: Cornell-Yale football game to be televised on Versus, ensuring that all sports fans will only be watching ESPN on Saturday
- Yale: Groups protest alteration of cemetery walls, claim proposed changes will allow Link to easily break in, defeat the ReDeads, and dig up the Hylian shield
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