Lena Chen on Eating In—Wait, What About Eating Out?!
You can label Lena Chen according to sex toy references all day long, but now she's going for something new: Donna Reed. The Ivy League's semi-retired sex blogger and current domestic goddess wannabe recently wrote about her new foray into the culinary arts in a "postcard from abroad" for the Harvard Crimson. Forgoing her typical narcissism for an apron-clad version, she writes:
I started cooking last year after I moved off-campus to live with my boyfriend, who has an actual kitchen and uses it to make exactly three varieties of salad. When I decided that it was time for us to incorporate heat into our kitchen regimen, my mother saw it as a long-awaited opportunity to instruct me in Chinese cooking.
In retribution for the New York Times calling her a "small Asian woman who ate every crumb of everything," Lena goes on to elaborate about acquiring the Chinese ingredients for her feast in a town of "exactly three Asian people." (She's evidently the go-to Geisha Girl even without the sex blog.) Turns out Germany isn't the best place to find bamboo shoots.
This all comes in the midst of Elle's venture for self-improvement, which includes the regular shameless flaunting and calling everyone else fat.
But wait! Apparently, that orgasm isn't the only thing she's faked. Before the end, Chen admits to her guests that she found the recipe from a BBC cookbook, not dearest mommy. A-plus for effort on her final mother-daughter Lifetime-special moment:
I suppose my two-course Chinese feast turned out not to be much of a feast, or particularly Chinese, for that matter. But I think my mother would have nonetheless been proud.
Thanks for warming the cold, empty space where our hearts should be. Now bring us some steak, woman!



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August 12th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
I’d settle for my China Daily online English version to be available to me when I want to read it. When anything happens the fail safe guilty party is always the c.i.a., so I’ll blame this on those traitorious turds again. Hey, by the way, how’s it ? Another summer and never got laid huh ! This summer was exceptional for no work huh ! It gets worse Hah Hah Hah ! Where are you gonna go when Yellowstone blows ? Come on sing along like it’s the Jimmy Buffet song. Oh don’t worry y’all will be dead relatively fast but those first few starving days when the grocery shelves empty out will be hell on you little piglets. Any of you good with a shovel or maybe a front end loader because with your experience in moving piles of worthless shit around you might just dig your way to China and the trillions that nathaniel and friends just fleeced you of. I imagine lamb is to expensive for dinner now a days huh !Isn’t Yellowstone going gurgle gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew gurgle spew spew spew spew a spectacular way to finally put a wooden stake through the heart of that fake american paper and free the world.
Guess who came back ? boo !
August 12th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
If I wanted to keep informed about Lena Chen’s insanity and issues, I’d read her blog. This post has barely anything to do with any Ivy League institution; instead, it seems solely designed to enable/publicize Lena. While every Gawker needs its Julia Allison, Lena is the cheap Chinese knockoff of the already inferior original. Give it a rest.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
From what I gather, she’s graduated so I really don’t see the obsession. Legions of former iviers have blogs; why focus on her? She did her thing which was ok to publicize and scrutinize when she was a student but now I vote for us to me on.
Other than the few students who may have been part of her graduating class; no one cares.
August 12th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
If it takes posts about Lena Chen to get christianarchisti back, keep posting. We missed you!
August 13th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
No one gives a shit about Lena Chen.. Please, either find something legit to write about or just let IvyGate die peacefully.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=a1.YKDrXJVc8
August 14th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Actually, she took time off and hasn’t yet graduated. I hate that I know that.
August 15th, 2009 at 1:17 am
I hate that you know that, too.
August 17th, 2009 at 2:44 am
wow.
I’ve never seen a picture of her before and now I want my virgin eyes back.
The girl is fugly and typical. She’s like a young Margaret Chow, but oh, wait! We’re still in the US, so its okay.
August 19th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Wow, IvyGate has reached a new level of pathetic. It must suck to have so little going on in your own lives that you have to consistently write about people that actually have lives like Lena and provide consistently biased coverage of all things Harvard.
And the posters on here…wow, what vitriol. “Anon” … it’s Margaret Cho, not “chow” … that is what one would do with food. Indeed, what you probably often do with food considering you think Lena looks “fugly and typical.” It’s really not possible to have much better of a body than she has in that pic, so why don’t you go eat a few more Twinkies and drown out your sad life. And H’07, it doesn’t seem like you have too much going on in your life either. If you had half the life that the “inferior” Julia Allison or the “cheap Chinese knockoff” Lena Chen has, you wouldn’t be trolling IvyGate for juicy gossip–TWO years after you’ve graduated–through which you can live vicariously.
Congratulations IvyGate, you’ve confirmed why nobody I know ever reads you and why even bothering to come to this site out of morbid curiosity was a terrible mistake.
August 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Eating out, indeed.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
H09, that’s it. Hardcore Margaret Cow fandom can compete with anything. Aja!