Ragtime July 23-29, 2009: Dartmouth is Hoff-tastic, Harvard is Gates-riffic
Columbia: Judge temporarily reinstates all-Columbia New York State executive branch power bloc- Cornell: Reassignment of Ujamaa Residence Hall RHD the closest Cornell will ever get to its own Skip Gates scandal
- Dartmouth: President Kim gives speech, tells students to focus on the "three E's"--excellence, ethics, and Everclear
- Dartmouth: Senior performs on America's Got Talent, Hasselhoff asks to be nicknamed "Keggy"
- Harvard: Cambridge police release Gates arrest tapes, to be followed by "Greatest Hits" album
- Harvard: Law professor gets pwned by judge in file-sharing case
- Penn: Awful rectum-injecting doctor speaks at a Congressional hearing
- Penn: Philly residents attend soccer games at the Linc, blame Canada's loss on Donovan McNabb
- Princeton: Shiny toy guns scare people on campus, student radio station now forbidden to play "Ghost Town"
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