The thrills of this year's commencement exercises clogged up our emotions here at IvyGate. And by emotions, I mean health. With all those stabs at the swine flu and the poor Ivy Leaguers stuck in quarantine, some virus sought revenge on at least one IvyGater. (Guess who.)

So most humble apologies for being out of commission this week. As some of our contributors are taking the big walk this year, we're going to take another few days to do the family thing. We'll be back June 15 under the leadership of a new team of summer editors. I'll make the announcement once things have been finalized, but suffice it to say the application process is now closed.

In the meantime, here are the top stories from this past semester for you to munch on:

• 1. Dartmouth Students Jump to Racist Conclusions About New President: 12,000 views for the we-hate-Asians response from a student humor group after the election of Jim Yong Kim to Dartmouth's highest office.
• 2. How To Get Into An Ivy League School: A Step-by-Step Guide Featuring Testimony From a Real, Live Silver-Spoon Legacy and a Racial Minority! 10,200 views for admissions tips that work.
• 3. Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Members Panic and Leak Pictures from Inside the Hall: 9,010 views for America's favorite Invisible Girl inside Yale's flimsiest society.
• 4. Yale Group Releases Racy (or -ist?) “Single Asians” Video: 9,000 views for an annoying song and dance with black-face implications.
• 5. How To Sneak Into The Ivy League, Or Why Columbia Is Not As Selective As You Think It Is: 8,000 views to get you a Morningside Heights address with little effort.

After the jump, a few of our favorite posts, the hot comments boards, and a close up from yet another picture inside a secret society.

Because not everything is about numbers, here are some of the sexier threads in the comments and some posts we're just plain proud of:

• 1. Emma Watson Settles on Brown—Extra Emphasis on “Settles”: This potentially bogus tip from the tabloids got some Harry Potter fans hot and bothered. The picture alone works, too. (See also this and this.)
• 2. The Great Ivy League Snob-Off, Part I: Ann Coulter Hates Cornell, Cornellian Hates Poor People: Three cheers for insecure Cornellians arguing about the Ivy-ness of lesser schools within a lesser Ivy. (And here are parts II, III, and a sporty epilogue.)
• 3. Dartmouth Student Politicians Send Embarrassing 3AM Emails, “I’m Telling!” Spree Ensues: Clearly Hanover needs an email seminar. And also needs to screen financial aid applicants with a penchant for easy money and all-girls schools.
• 4. Song and Dance Heals Hurt for the 93% That Didn’t Get Into Harvard: Out of all the videos we posted this year, this one packs the most timeless punch.
• 5. Crimson Launches New Blog, Advertises Cocaine Study: You'll appreciate this much more after spending half of your paycheck for a dead-end, baking soda night in the Meatpacking District.

Maybe my favorite happening is the disgruntled insider at the Wolf's Head Society in New Haven. Here's the latest installment of the look inside the Hall: