Princeton Girl Explains New Slang Term, “Tool”
I've heard this strange usage of the word "tool" bandied about and I've been waiting for an Ivy daily to publish a column explaining what it means. Finally, Cindy Hong, in "Taking a Peek in the Tool Shed," has cleared things up for me. According to Cindy, a tool is a person who engages in:
being fake, networking, pursuing finance, trying too hard, trying too hard not to look like you’re trying too hard
Cindy is quick to assure us she is not a tool, despite her various and acknowledged toolish affiliations: The Daily Princetonian, Wilson School, USG (Editor's Note: Cindy says these affiliations are toolish, not me. Though, I believe her.) Cindy writes:
“But I’m so cool and interesting,” I protested to my non-USG, non-Wilson School friends. “I listen to Neutral Milk Hotel and read David Foster Wallace.” These statements only confirmed their suspicions.
Yes, Neutral Milk Hotel is incredibly toolish (I'm not being sarcastic). After the jump, Cindy tells us why being a tool is actually a good thing. Cindy writes:
“toolish” people set a higher bar for the rest of us. The many self-described introverts amongst us wince at the idea of badgering professors after class, forcefully introducing ourselves to strangers, or e-mailing unknown alumni from TigerNet. But if others do it, we do too. It’s easier just to scoff at the people who do these things so the rest of us don’t have to.
But which is it, Cindy? Do we badger professors and email alums because we are encouraged by the unabashed opportunism of tools? Or do we scoff at them for doing these things "so the rest of us don't have to?"
Is good writing also "toolish?"
Cindy has a point. Many of us are jealous of the social skills, drive and courage possessed by tools. Not to mention the career success, social lives and romantic conquests. But, you gotta remember, deep down, these people, they, they're...they're fake. That's right. Fake.
10 Comments | 
| 
Print This Post
Read more: daily princetonian, Princeton, tool box, tools
Email – 
Search
About
Follow us on Twitter
Report a bug
Archives
RSS Feed
May 8th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
She is also Asian, which is deeply toolish.
May 8th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
NMH is NOT toolish. Shut your mouth.
May 8th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Rationalizing why being a tool makes you superior is the toolish thing of all.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
well, asian-haters are also pretty toolish.
May 8th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
You missed this from the YDN in November: http://yaledailynews.com/articles/view/26530
May 9th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Tool is not a “new slang term.” Please. Perhaps the most “toolish” aspect of this article is the idea that the invocation of some artists can make oneself feel cool. David Foster Wallace was awesome and I appreciate what Neutral Milk Hotel tried to do with their music, but consuming works by these people don’t define a person!! They certainly don’t make you cool. It just gets taken up into the “mix” of yoru environment and maybe a LITTLE BIT of it will actually influence the way you act and think.
May 11th, 2009 at 11:59 am
The most toolish aspect of this article is that the author has apparently never heard the slang used before. FFS, it’s been around decades!
May 15th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I knew her at Princeton. Very toolish.
May 17th, 2009 at 7:25 am
In prep school that slang was current in the 50’s and 60’s … what’s old just comes around again … Penn ‘69
July 5th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
You know what’s really toolish? An Ivy League blog.