As you probably didn't notice, the IvySports Roundup did not run last week. That is not to say that no important Ivy League sports took place on the first weekend in May. Quite the opposite in fact, as Ivy League titles were decided in men's lacrosse, baseball, and softball. And that's in addition to Ancient Eight alumni actually doing well in pro sports. However, as last week was the beginning of study week for most students, we felt that we should honor the occasion by partaking in the great study week tradition of slacking off. But there are no excuses this week as the Roundup is back, and there's a lot of catching up to do since last time.

This week's rankings takes into account the events of the past two weekends, in which seven Ivy League titles were decided. Two schools tied for the most titles in the last fortnight with 2.5 each. After factoring in the intangibles--such as which school's band can we piss off with the minimum amount of effort--the choice for number one was clear.

1. Princeton

Holds bragging rights over: Cornell

The Tools--I mean Tigers--had a very successful weekend. Both men's lightweight crew and women's track won Ancient Eight titles. The latter team won their first outdoor track league title in 11 years and ended Cornell's seven year reign. Meanwhile, men's lacrosse--who won a share of the Ivy championship last week with their win over Brown--breezed past UMass 10-7 in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Not to be outdone, women's lacrosse pounded Georgetown 15-9 in their first round game.

But Princeton's place atop the rankings this week (and their holding of bragging rights over Cornell) is mainly due to the accomplishments of one particular alumnus. Three weeks ago, Princeton grad George Parros fought Cornell grad Douglas Murray in Southern California. No, it wasn't a battle between agents for the right to represent Susan Boyle. It was in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Playoff series between Parros' Ducks and Murray's Sharks, and we never gave the fight its due. Based on the video, we see it as a close decision win for Parros, whose team would go on to win the series. And that's why the Tools are number one...for now.

Find out why after the jump.

2. Cornell

Holds bragging rights over: Dartmouth

When it comes to NCAA sports where the number of teams in the championship tournament is sufficient to dub the event as "Madness," Ivy League schools don't usually get much respect in seeding. However, Cornell's softball team managed to defy the odds. Last week, the Lady Red beat Dartmouth in a three-game series for the Ivy League title and automatic tournament berth. On Sunday, the softball tournament committee must have been impressed with Cornell's school record 42 wins because they gave the Red the equivalent of a 3 seed in their four-team regional in Amherst. This means that Cornell is not the worst team in their bracket! Amazing.

Other Cornell teams with successful fortnights are men's track and men's lacrosse. The latter team held off Hobart last week in a rivalry game so old that when they first played, Hobart didn't admit women. Then on Saturday, the Big Red topped the Hofstra Multiple Lions 11-8 in the first round of the tournament. This sets up a quarterfinal matchup between #5 Cornell and #4 Princeton in Hempstead, NY for a spot in the Final Four in Foxborough. The two teams shared the Ivy League title this year, but the Big Red beat the Tigers in Ithaca. Cornell vs. Princeton is a showdown for the ages. It's right up there with the other great battles like Ali vs. Frazier, Giants vs. Dodgers, Stuffing vs. Potatoes, and Cornell Law Professor vs. Elitist Spreads.

3. Dartmouth

Holds bragging rights over: Cornell

While the Ithacans got some bragging rights over the Big Green for their softball victory, Dartmouth took them right back in baseball. In the New England, Mid-Atlantic, and Part of Upstate New York Series, Dartmouth won the Ivy championship over Cornell with a 10-0 stomping in the deciding game. It's the Big Green's first conference  title in baseball in 22 years.

Also, we were chastised by a commenter for not mentioning a Dartmouth league championship in the last IvySports Roundup. So here it is: Some Dartmouth students who played football in high school but weren't good enough to make the college team yet still wanted to play a sport beat a bunch of students in the same boat from other schools to win a title so unofficial that neither the Ivy League's official website nor the Dartmouth's athletic department website mention it or the sport. There. Satisfied?

4. Brown

Holds bragging rights over: Harvard

Brown's men's lacrosse team suffered some great emotional swings over the last few weeks. Coming off their upset of Cornell, the Bears failed in their bid to clinch the Ivy League's automatic bid when they lost at Princeton. Yet despite the loss, they still made the NCAA Tournament field. Then in their first round game at #8 Johns Hopkins, the Bears rallied from trailing most of the game to tie it at 11 with 8 seconds to go. Then the Blue Jays won in sudden death overtime. And to make things even worse, they had to go to Baltimore for this. The good news for Brown sports fans was the men's heavyweight crew, who came from behind to beat Harvard for the Ivy League title.

5. Penn

Holds bragging territorial rights over: Other Philadelphia Colleges

The Quakers' women's lacrosse team cut it closer than they would have liked in their NCAA Tournament first round match against Fairfield, but they pulled through for the 10-8 victory. Next up for #4 Penn is a quarterfinal match against the 5 seed Duke. The Quakers will host the game at Vidas Field in an attempt to trick the Blue Devils into thinking they're actually playing Drexel.

6. Harvard

Holds Thinks they hold bragging rights over: Princeton

Harvard's athletics department website proudly proclaims the Crimson lightweight crew team as the winners of the Jope Cup, given to the "league team champion at the EARC Sprints." The official Ivy League website, however, says that Princeton is the champion. In actuality, the Jope Cup is given to the team with the most total points in the varsity, second varsity, and freshman races. This year, that team was Harvard despite finishing second to the Tigers in the varsity race i.e. the only race that matters. So the Jope Cup is almost the perfect name for the this trophy. It just needs to change one letter.

7 (tie). Columbia and Yale

Holds bragging rights over: Yale and Columbia

Just waiting for the NCAA men's golf regionals/women's Eastern Sprints to start.