Dartmouth Student Politicians Send Embarrassing 3AM Emails, “I’m Telling!” Spree Ensues
Dartmouth student body presidential candidate John Nolan ‘10 got double busted for ass-kissing and bull-shitting on Friday. First Nolan criticized the current administration in last Wednesday’s presidential debate, then wrote a long SSS (sorry so sloppy letter) right after — only to have it printed in the D the very next day. Thank god for press-savvy 20-somethings and their impeccable knowledge of how and when to leak embarrassing information to the press. Especially after Nolan won’t shut up about not getting any press coverage.
In some wording that’s slightly above jungle gym talk, Nolan explained in an email to Bode and Assembly Vice President Nafeesa Remtilla ‘09:
“Yes, I could go about playing the likeable card, the approachable card, be a people pleaser, and smile and nod and maybe pull off some Sara [sic] Palin winks,” Nolan said in the e-mail. “But at the end of the day, if I do that, and I lose to [Vernon], I’m going to regret this experience.”
It gets better:
“When I tried to be politically correct, I didn’t get press coverage,” he wrote. “I need my name out there. I need the exposure. I need to make waves to win, and that’s all I’m doing.”
Everybody’s new best friend, Nolan goes onto point out how he didn’t really mean all those things he said, didn’t want to do anything “dirty,” and just wants to win win win. Way to break rule number one of behind-closed-doors-dirty politics: Don’t talk about dirty politics.
Given the fact that Dartmouth students have recently had some problems with sending regretable emails, we’re starting to wonder if maybe Hanover shouldn’t have electricity. At least Nolan (probably) didn’t pull any race cards and will likely just lose and enjoy our awesome Google ranking for the rest of his political career.
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April 20th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
“When I tried to be politically correct, I didn’t get press coverage,” he wrote. “I need my name out there. I need the exposure. I need to make waves to win, and that’s all I’m doing.”
You poor sockless bastard. Marketing 101: There IS such thing as bad publicity. In a tightly monitored college there are so many better ways to get your name out there than this.
Urgh. Did we learn nothing from November’s election? Do as they did.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
It’s 3AM, and an email inbox is blinking…
April 20th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Too bad – John is actually a really, really nice guy
April 20th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I can’t wait until something actually controversial happens on campus. Once again, nobody cares.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
That kid is so freaking annoying. He just LOOKS annoying as fuck.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:03 am
Perhaps the Trustee election controversy has created drama. Perhaps the Dartmouth Film Society (DFS) will screen “Armageddon” (1998) to remind us Ivy geeks that life after school is still about service and sororities.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:42 am
I don’t even go to Dartmouth but I had the great displeasure of meeting the insufferable faggot a number of times while I was there. He’s not nice, he’s just gay.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Good God, this blog really attracts the lowest common denominator of commentary. Not Youtube-ish, but more hateful/self-hating AutoAdmit-like. Why such black and twisted souls, people?
April 21st, 2009 at 3:26 pm
This story is like a week old! The election is over.
@D10: He might be nice, but he’s annoying as shit. Always fucking prancing around screaming like a girl in Collis. It’s like he’s insecure about not being the biggest fruitloop on campus.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:33 pm
@Anonymous: EVERYBODY cares, just because you’re a loser doesn’t mean you have to spoil everyone else’s fun.
@Columbia ‘09: Please grow up. @Abishai100: What does that have to do with ANYTHING? Please leave.
@IvyGate: WHY must the comments box not insert a line break when I hit the return key?! This is seriously like the only blog that clumps all the text together. Maybe enable HTML recognition?
April 21st, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@mark: My complaining about the people who come here to dump on folk for being “insufferable faggots” isn’t grown up enough for you?
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:22 am
Agreed. It also goes to show you he’s willing to throw anyone under the bus to have his way.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 am
He really is a jerk and it made me so happy when this article came out in the D. He’s an embarrassment to the LGBT community at Dartmouth.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
At least he’s really cute.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
He totally had the most valid points of all the candidates. The fact that Bode and Vernon forwarded his blitz to the D is disgusting. It wasn’t newsworthy material, making him out to be an awful person was clearly their political agenda to ensure Vernon’s win.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:13 am
THIS IS UTTERLY DISGUSTING.
I am a student body president at a prestigious college on the west coast and I have to say this is F*KKKING PATHETIC.
IS THIS WHAT OUR “IVY LEAGUE” UNIVERSITY STUDENTS….. OUR FUTURE LEADERS…. ARE ACTUALLY DOING>?!??!?
EVERY SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGLE ONE OF YOU DUMB$HITS IN THAT STUDENT GOVERNMENT OVER THERE SHOULD GO HOME AND COVER YOURSELVES WITH YOUR BLANKIE AND WEEEP OVER YOUR EMBARRASSMENT TO STUDENT LEADERSHIP!
If there is ANYTHING that I have learned living in a city surrounded by ethnocentric propghanda morons is this…. DO NOT EVER lower yourself to your opponents standards. IT ONLY makes you look that much more pathetic, uneducated, and COWARDLY.
The FACT that you PUZZy aZZ student leaders “Bode and Assembly Vice President Nafeesa Remtilla” actually forwarded his email to your newspaper just FREAKING PISSSES me off. And you know what??? IF I WAS THAT GUY, as a guy growing up in Los Angeles, a city where cowards cannot survive…. I WOULD KICK THE LIVING SNOOOOOOOOOOT out of you little twerps!
PS
IF YOU NEWSPAPER GEEKS EVEN THINK ABOUT deleting this post, you will obviously become the ones to blame… because only YOU have the audacity to FILTER real commentary from the society as a whole…. and YOU would then be proven to be the next RUPERT MURDOCKS of our generation.
Peacenluv,
a concerned fellow SBG leader