Another Year of Pitiful April Fools’ Pranks: Starring Unigo
There's about 5 hours left for excusable shenanigans this year, and we double dare you to impress us. Because so far, this year's April Fools' Day has in no way involved subway trains springing from the ground, the Taco Liberty Bell, Smellovision, or anything else that actually fooled or entertained. The most interesting pitiful prank in our narrow yet elite frame comes from Unigo, that site that sounds like a Japanese clothing chain but isn't.
On the tails of all those racist emails and Ivy League denials, Unigo created a listing for Cornmouth because evidently Dartmouth and Cornell have merged due to their "flaccid endowments." Yes, Unigo. That quote got you the prize. This little slice of truth for the rejects out there is also not bad:
Cornmouth is a member of the Ivy League, which means that it is prohibitively expensive and filled with people who are smarter than we are. The guy who smokes pot 10-15 times a day, often out of a piece of fruit, is smarter than we are... The fellow who wears an eye patch for nonmedical reasons and literally changed his name (first and last) to "Why" is smarter than we are. These awful people are just some of the reasons you will not get into Cornmouth.
As for the real Cornell, the Daily Sun did an awesome job ripping off the Guardian's Twitter fakeout. Then there's the Harvard alum who painstakingly Harvardized the style of the Drudge Report into a wine guide. And we're still wondering who thought Photoshopping a CGI catapult into a picture of Brown's campus and then talking about the SDS would be funny. Probably the same dude that's smoking pot out of fruit.
(Editor's note: Gone are days when Facebook pokes were real, and Brunonians took the resultant sex jokes to their proper climax. Maybe Easter will be funny?)
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April 1st, 2009 at 7:43 pm
the cornell daily sun in no way “ripped off” the guardian, ok? the sun has been doing fake out from pages not only on april fools day but on halloween too for years. so get it right, they ripped US off. and twitter sucks.
April 1st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I love it. “Succulent and Yellow”.
If only they had gone an extra step with the merger. But I guess “Brown Cornmouth” is a little bit blue.
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:45 am
http://web.mac.com/rosenmans11/site_3/SPORTSTALKNY_MASCOT_MADNESS_FINALS.html
That’s been going on for the past month or so. Keggy made it to the finals, beating out a bunch of other mascots. Too late for a post, but out of 48,000 votes, the Keg was winning by 20% last time I checked.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:40 am
http://yaledailynews.com/articles/view/28412
Jonas Brothers for Spring Fling was an okay one – people believed it.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
182 comments on the Princeton thread. I really hope that one is a joke…
April 4th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
I am ashamed to say that I actually know someone at Dartmouth who “wears an eye patch for non-medical reasons”…