The Great Ivy League Snob Off, Part II:
Keith Olbermann Is Also Embarrassing.

picture-5Ann Coulter’s spat with Keith Olbermann over Cornell bragging rights began the way all great battles of the mind do — Does this Rush Limbaugh make the GOP look fat? — and ends the way our comment boards do, a degenerative slinging of acceptance rates and SAT scores eventually boiling down to one guy pointing at his diploma and screaming about how smart he is.

Welcome back to the Great Ivy League Snob Off. Let’s meet the contestants:

In the first corner: Cornell grad and MSNBC gravitas junkie Keith Olbermann, who says conserva-pundit Rush Limbaugh is a know-nothing plebe who couldn’t tell the Constitution from his left foot. He’s so dumb, he flunked ballroom dance! (True story. Check his Wikipedia.)

In the second corner: Cornell grad and journeyman blowhard Ann Coulter, who jumps to Limbaugh’s defense with an astonishingly baffling 900-word diatribe about how Olbermann is not the “scary smart” messiah his fans think he is, but an Ivy League fraud:

Keith didn’t go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell. … Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1 applicants).

Touché, Coulter. You hit us East Coast intelligentsia right where it hurts– the threat of farm dirt, and athletes! This is even worse than the time we realized Obama went to some weensy school in LA* before transferring to Columbia. Her opponent reeling, the skeletor in the right wing’s closet delivers a bony little knock-out punch:

Olbermann’s incessant lying about having an “Ivy League education” when he went to the non-Ivy League ag school at Cornell would be like a graduate of the Yale locksmithing school boasting about being a “Yale man.”

A metaphor involving blue collar labor? Low blow.

But wait! Olbermann’s still got some fight in him. After the jump: The response that may require us to banish Keither Olbermann from the Ivy League forever.

Olbermann rolls up his sleeves and starts punching in his daily “World’s Worst” segment, where he whips out his big, shiny diploma and morphs into a belligerently insecure teenager trying out for the debate team:

This induces an inward cringe so severe as to cause us to shed our external shells and molt. Most amazingly, Olbermann comes out of the diploma-brandishing and statistics-rattling segment with a persuasive argument against his status as an Ivy Leaguer:

In my four years as a student at Cornell and nearly 30 years as an alumnus I have never before heard one graduate of one of the university’s colleges belittling all its other colleges as not counting. We always considered each other equals.

Sir, the whole point of attending an Ivy League university is earning the right to belittle your peers. In fact, it is a time-honored Ivy League pursuit second only to incessant defensiveness and the perpetual need to justify one’s intellectual validit–

Oh. Right. Congrats, Keith. Looks like you’re back in.

* To find out about Obama’s life pre-Columbia, I visited Occidental’s Wikipedia page, where the gravest of my fears was confirmed.

occidental

  • dbcooper

    keith is a ignorant liar ,his mama was a whore who slept with his friends,,thinkj gang bang!

  • dbcooper

    keith is a ignorant liar ,his mama was a whore who slept with his friends,,thinkj gang bang!

  • bill hash

    To be fair, Olbermann isn’t a news show. It’s a show for people like Olbermann: narcissistic, hypocritical people with smugness and rage fueled by low self-esteem. I don’t have a problem with their not having ‘opposing points of view’ because it’s a show meant for a choir of like-thinking dittoheads. What bugs me is that he has the gall to pretend he’s not like Bill O’Reilly. Olbermann is actually worse because you have to add in what a complete douchebag he is, the hypocrisy of his entire act, plus those tired, childish voices he pulls. You know it just eats at his black little heart that O’Reilly has ten times his audience.

    I’ll never get how statists fool themselves so thoroughly. Barack Obama made $2.7 million last year writing books about how oppressive this society is. Michael Moore made millions doing the same. Olbermann is a millionaire. Garofalo has money. They all live lives of luxury and spit the most vile hatred for working-class people … then pretend to be about the ‘common man’.

  • bill hash

    To be fair, Olbermann isn’t a news show. It’s a show for people like Olbermann: narcissistic, hypocritical people with smugness and rage fueled by low self-esteem. I don’t have a problem with their not having ‘opposing points of view’ because it’s a show meant for a choir of like-thinking dittoheads. What bugs me is that he has the gall to pretend he’s not like Bill O’Reilly. Olbermann is actually worse because you have to add in what a complete douchebag he is, the hypocrisy of his entire act, plus those tired, childish voices he pulls. You know it just eats at his black little heart that O’Reilly has ten times his audience.

    I’ll never get how statists fool themselves so thoroughly. Barack Obama made $2.7 million last year writing books about how oppressive this society is. Michael Moore made millions doing the same. Olbermann is a millionaire. Garofalo has money. They all live lives of luxury and spit the most vile hatred for working-class people … then pretend to be about the ‘common man’.

  • uneducatedloser

    Both of these people are so far gone, I can’t believe I am even wasting 45 seconds of my time writing this…Although I have more respect for Coulter (oooh, can’t believe I said that), they’re both confrontational egomaniacs. KO’s show sucks! I didn’t like him on SC and I don’t like him now. He reminds me of the whiny kid on the block who annoys the crap out of you until you beat his ass. Just not a fan of unfair, illogical BS passed off as reporting or journalism from KO or his transgender clone, Maddow. btw – i am a communications drop-out, so my opinion doesn’t really count anyway.

  • uneducatedloser

    Both of these people are so far gone, I can’t believe I am even wasting 45 seconds of my time writing this…Although I have more respect for Coulter (oooh, can’t believe I said that), they’re both confrontational egomaniacs. KO’s show sucks! I didn’t like him on SC and I don’t like him now. He reminds me of the whiny kid on the block who annoys the crap out of you until you beat his ass. Just not a fan of unfair, illogical BS passed off as reporting or journalism from KO or his transgender clone, Maddow. btw – i am a communications drop-out, so my opinion doesn’t really count anyway.

  • Julia

    How surprising that someone flaunts their education like it’s their identity. I’ll give points to Coulter on this one, but both are equally smug about something that overall doesn’t mean very much. Just because you have a college education, it doesn’t make you a smart person. (And yes, I am college educated, so I’m not playing a “jealousy” card. I went to a prestigious university for undergrad and grad, but it doesn’t mean the folks I graduated with are better human beings.)

  • Julia

    How surprising that someone flaunts their education like it’s their identity. I’ll give points to Coulter on this one, but both are equally smug about something that overall doesn’t mean very much. Just because you have a college education, it doesn’t make you a smart person. (And yes, I am college educated, so I’m not playing a “jealousy” card. I went to a prestigious university for undergrad and grad, but it doesn’t mean the folks I graduated with are better human beings.)

  • lupus62

    I’m joining this discussion a few months late, and I’m amazed that it’s still raging. As with a previous poster, I find myself astonished that I would agree with Ann Coulter about anything, but I do. Trouble is, it’s like a playground fight: loud, furious, utterly meaningless.

    Both combatants are childish snobs; both are too old to wave their academic credentials around; both are established spokespersons for the idiot right and the idiot left. (I usually side with he idiot left, but in this dumb confrontation, I side with the prettier idiot.)College students (and some alumni) play the status game constantly. It means a lot to the kids, and in fact it’s a serious component in hiring for one’s FIRST job, out of school. Afterwards, it’s of decreasing importance in the real world; it’s what you do after you leave school that counts. (In the interest of full disclosure: I went to a college generally regarded as second-tier then – now it’s top-tier – and my classmates and I were all Ivy wannabees. After college, I made it into TWO Ivy professional/graduate schools, hated both, and left without a degree. That ended any school snobbism I might have had left.)

    But Coulter is right in “catching” Olbermann with false – or at least misleading – statements about his education. Putting myself back into my student head, I see a clear distinction between the Ivy and non-Ivy components of a university like Cornell; my own university had a School of Continuing Education, generally regarded as THIRD tier, or lower.

    But this is all “purely academic” now. Where Coulter and Olbermann were educated simply doesn’t matter today: Olbermann is a credit to the Ag school and should be proud of it. Coulter is a well-educated piece of work and is overly proud of herself.

    And both should simply shut up about the issue.

  • http://none lupus62

    I’m joining this discussion a few months late, and I’m amazed that it’s still raging. As with a previous poster, I find myself astonished that I would agree with Ann Coulter about anything, but I do. Trouble is, it’s like a playground fight: loud, furious, utterly meaningless.

    Both combatants are childish snobs; both are too old to wave their academic credentials around; both are established spokespersons for the idiot right and the idiot left. (I usually side with he idiot left, but in this dumb confrontation, I side with the prettier idiot.)College students (and some alumni) play the status game constantly. It means a lot to the kids, and in fact it’s a serious component in hiring for one’s FIRST job, out of school. Afterwards, it’s of decreasing importance in the real world; it’s what you do after you leave school that counts. (In the interest of full disclosure: I went to a college generally regarded as second-tier then – now it’s top-tier – and my classmates and I were all Ivy wannabees. After college, I made it into TWO Ivy professional/graduate schools, hated both, and left without a degree. That ended any school snobbism I might have had left.)

    But Coulter is right in “catching” Olbermann with false – or at least misleading – statements about his education. Putting myself back into my student head, I see a clear distinction between the Ivy and non-Ivy components of a university like Cornell; my own university had a School of Continuing Education, generally regarded as THIRD tier, or lower.

    But this is all “purely academic” now. Where Coulter and Olbermann were educated simply doesn’t matter today: Olbermann is a credit to the Ag school and should be proud of it. Coulter is a well-educated piece of work and is overly proud of herself.

    And both should simply shut up about the issue.

  • cornellkid

    Unsurprisingly, people are still willing to argue about this issue. Possibly rightly so, as Coulter and Olbermann were equal and opposite dumbasses in this fight. Apparently this is the first law of newtonian douchebagery. Surprising, possibly, was Coulter’s old paper’s reaction: http://cornellinsider.com/2009/03/09/coulter-on-the-intricacies-of-cornells-schools/

  • cornellkid

    Unsurprisingly, people are still willing to argue about this issue. Possibly rightly so, as Coulter and Olbermann were equal and opposite dumbasses in this fight. Apparently this is the first law of newtonian douchebagery. Surprising, possibly, was Coulter’s old paper’s reaction: http://cornellinsider.com/2009/03/09/coulter-on-the-intricacies-of-cornells-schools/

  • CU gEEk

    Anyone who thinks there is not a hierarchy has either never seen test scores or is ignoring their own subservience.

    Engineering is the best in the Ivy League and among the best in the world. Ag & Life Sciences is good, but loses style points for replicating Arts & Sciences departments and paying less tuition. ILR… union organizer. Ugh. ‘Nuff said. HumEc exists so we can have a few fashionable and attractive people on campus. Architecture, Arts and Planning are solid except in fine arts. Hotelies are very nice, not really academically solid, almost as attractive as HumEc but more organized — and wanting to run a restaurant or resort to hang with the jet set for their career. Finally: Arts & Sciences, the preening-yet-underperforming college. Some parts are tops (physics, math) while others are just also-rans. Unfortunately, nobody can get that across to the Artsies because they conflate envy from A&LS mirror-majors with actual prestige.

    So for prestige, we have: Engr > AAP > Arts > Hotel > A&LS > HumEc > ILR; but, for academic rigor: Arts (phys/math) > Engr > A&LS > AAP > Arts (fluffy) > ILR > Hotel > HumEc.

    The fluffy Artsies did get the Arts Quad though. So that got that going for them. Which is nice.

  • CU gEEk

    Anyone who thinks there is not a hierarchy has either never seen test scores or is ignoring their own subservience.

    Engineering is the best in the Ivy League and among the best in the world. Ag & Life Sciences is good, but loses style points for replicating Arts & Sciences departments and paying less tuition. ILR… union organizer. Ugh. ‘Nuff said. HumEc exists so we can have a few fashionable and attractive people on campus. Architecture, Arts and Planning are solid except in fine arts. Hotelies are very nice, not really academically solid, almost as attractive as HumEc but more organized — and wanting to run a restaurant or resort to hang with the jet set for their career. Finally: Arts & Sciences, the preening-yet-underperforming college. Some parts are tops (physics, math) while others are just also-rans. Unfortunately, nobody can get that across to the Artsies because they conflate envy from A&LS mirror-majors with actual prestige.

    So for prestige, we have: Engr > AAP > Arts > Hotel > A&LS > HumEc > ILR; but, for academic rigor: Arts (phys/math) > Engr > A&LS > AAP > Arts (fluffy) > ILR > Hotel > HumEc.

    The fluffy Artsies did get the Arts Quad though. So that got that going for them. Which is nice.

  • http://www.njcu-gadfly.com/ William Dusenberry

    New Jersey City University (NJCU) is often called “Harvard on the Hudson.”

    The New Jersey Commission of Higher Education has written three letters stating that the President of NJCU used fraudulent academic credentials to become president.

    But nothing else can be done about this fraud — unless the NJ Governor instructs his Attorney General to do so. And, he won’t — because this NJCU President is a member of his Education Commission; and this President’s second full-time job (Director: Provident Securities; over $1,000.000 in earnings during the past three years)makes this President too much of a politically connected asset.

    Google: “Fraud at New Jersey City University” for more details.

  • http://www.njcu-gadfly.com William Dusenberry

    New Jersey City University (NJCU) is often called “Harvard on the Hudson.”

    The New Jersey Commission of Higher Education has written three letters stating that the President of NJCU used fraudulent academic credentials to become president.

    But nothing else can be done about this fraud — unless the NJ Governor instructs his Attorney General to do so. And, he won’t — because this NJCU President is a member of his Education Commission; and this President’s second full-time job (Director: Provident Securities; over $1,000.000 in earnings during the past three years)makes this President too much of a politically connected asset.

    Google: “Fraud at New Jersey City University” for more details.

  • Guest

    Guys, I’m not sure if it’s like saying you go to Harvard College when you actually go to Harvard Extension; CALS is actually an official undergraduate college of Cornell, although it is partly funded by NYS. Harvard Extension is not even a college; it’s an extension school that offers bachelor’s and master’s programs. No comparison. I don’t even think this is such a big deal to be honest.

  • CC’14

    @b156881c396bf0d931719e45eb9b5c53:disqus

    Nah. That analogy is, frankly, incorrect.

    Columbia GS is a highly selective undergraduate
    liberal arts college at Columbia University. The Ivy League college
    offers the same classes, the same faculty, and the same degree as all
    other Columbia undergraduates. They also happen to have the highest GPAs
    at Columbia.

    I’m in the College, but GS students usually dominate class discussions. I have tons of GS friends and they’re great. Did you go to Columbia?