Song and Dance Heals Hurt for the 93% That Didn’t Get Into Harvard
At 5pm today, about 27,066 of the record 29,112 students who applied to Harvard this year will get the thin email from 86 Brattle St. These down-and-out overachievers will be weeping into the AP test prep books until they hear from the other 7 Ivies. But that doesn’t mean that the Cambridge crowd can’t laugh at them first.
Who says that Harvard students are arrogant about being Harvard students, anyways? (A few different sources, actually.) Well, any doubt can be assuaged by the warm pat on the shoulder offered by On Harvard Time. Reports of a new record low 7% acceptance rate guarantee that OHT’s new video, “You Got Rejected,” beats the Yale Amazing Race audition tape for the most relevant video of the day.
Read advice from Dean Fitzsimmons about money and the waitlist after the jump.
Given the sexy recession and first ever edition of the IvyGate Guide to Admissions, this year’s admissions decisions should continue to be record-breaking. Don’t be scared. It’s like this every year. What makes matters just a bit unique is the fact that Harvard is basically giving free rides to about a quarter of admitted students thanks to it’s still hunky endowment. The Crimson quotes Dean of Admissions William R. Fitzsimmons ‘67 a lot today:
“The fact that we are in the middle of an unprecedented economic downturn could produce some very interesting effects [on the yield],” said Fitzsimmons. “Sometimes people might feel it’s better to stay close to home, even if financial aid is very good.”
And when you don’t get rejected but don’t get in and still think you can afford it, hold onto hope for the waitlist.
“Certainly going to the waiting list did not hurt the quality [last year],” Fitzsimmons said. “Quite a few people in the admissions office think that it is no coincidence that the Freshman Dean’s Office has said that this freshman class is the best they have ever had.”
Also, send the admissions office lots of extra stuff. “Any new information can be helpful,” Fitzsimmons said to The Crimson. Naked photos, old shoes, and suitcases full of money are all definitely acceptable. (AP scores, Westinghouse Prizes, and unpublished novels are not.)
Stay tuned for more on this year’s admissions tragedies. And definitely send us some transcripts from your professor-to-admitted-student phone calls.
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March 31st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
why are these schools constantly increasing their outreach and constantly encouraging more and more students to apply, when all it does is increase the number of kids who get rejected? It is really sad and pretty ridiculous that good schools increasingly want to make it a crap shoot to get in. That does not bode well for creating a good and loyal alum base, especially if there are fewer multigenerational families at the schools and just makes rejected students bitter at the students who “got their spot.” Maybe if US News stopped using admission rates as a criteria in the rankings we wouldn’t have this problem
March 31st, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hehe….Awesome.
I could see kids crying at this video however.
P09- Advertising 101. You’re nobody until you’re talked about. (Gossip Girl didn’t invent that shit)
March 31st, 2009 at 6:11 pm
this is really funny. but i’d hate to be someone watching this who didn’t get in.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:23 pm
that video’s a year old. not new.
and increasing the number who apply improves the quality of who is accepted. all schools try to do that.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:54 pm
lol! i love that song.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:57 pm
oh man, this is hilarious!!!
March 31st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Terrible. But funny.
March 31st, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Love the video, though I’m not sure how I’d feel about it if I were rejected this morning. Oh, heck, I’d probably love it still.
March 31st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
This is great! Lower acceptance rates = better ranking on US News and World Report. Oh wait.
March 31st, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Haha!
This is so funny! Better than the crap Yale dishes out… but again what do they know.
Keep it up OHT!!
March 31st, 2009 at 11:14 pm
this video is amazing. on harvard time is a genius comedy organization.
April 1st, 2009 at 12:11 am
God damn, acappella is the #1 reason not to get into college, but good vid
April 1st, 2009 at 12:14 am
FUNNY VIDEO HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA AWESOME
April 1st, 2009 at 12:29 am
This song is f’in catchy… and that singer is AMAZING.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:37 am
WOW…. those are some fugly people. It’s better to go to a lesser ranked school with less “People Under the Stairs” than spend four years being a pretentious ass
April 1st, 2009 at 2:02 am
….and I thought this video was STILL SO FUCKING GOOD!
Those lyrics….those fucking shit ass lyrics were like my ears were getting blow jobs.
and I know what that feels like!
DING!
MIT is a better match for me anyway.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:53 am
Wow. This video was absolutely horrible. Just terrible. Unbelievably unpleasant. The lyrics…they were just so….banal. This video was an abortion. The people in it, they were insufferable. If someday I get rejected from Harvard, only a video like this could assuage my sadness. I am nearly surprised that certain readers found this to be “”"”"humorous”"”"”.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:30 am
Lol don’t flatter yourself Lena Chen
April 1st, 2009 at 4:31 am
if i had applied to and been rejected from harvard, i’d probably deeply resent them for this video
April 1st, 2009 at 5:39 am
Hey, its beem 44 years and still hurts when you bring it up. Its kind of cruel.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:07 pm
If I had been rejected yesterday, I would be murderous at this video. As it stands, though, I find this completely hysterical.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:12 pm
THIS VIDEO IS BETTER THAN A BLOW JOB
April 1st, 2009 at 3:41 pm
it was ok. lena chen was kinda the best part. and that isn’t say very much.
the whole time though i kept thinking to myself, “damn harvard kids are kinda homely/weird looking.”
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:36 am
This is the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. Singing sucks. Agree with the comment about fugly people. Terrible.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
these fatties need to run on a treadmill
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I have a story to tell. All my life, I’d planned to go to Harvard and become a real businessman, just like my father. I spent all my time in school concentrating on my schoolwork, never taking time off to play football or go “score one” with the ladies. And then, last year, I too got the thin letter. I was so dejected I could barely breathe. My parents tried to console me, but I just told them they couldn’t understand. I stopped worrying about school, stopped worrying about life, stopped worrying about anything, really. I started cutting. I started vandalizing. Life just had no meaning.
And then I found this video. I was entranced by the realization that others, boys and girls just like me, were going through the same thing! Feverishly, I punched in the URL for the producers: . I watched most of their other videos, and realized that there might be, at last, solace to be found. So I took a trip up to Cambridge from my home in Provo and paged through several directories, finding the addresses of all those responsible. With a sparkle of anticipation in my eye, I began to “make the rounds” to each dorm room. Nearly everybody turned me away in confusion, but one of the line producers was a Seventh Day Adventist, who took me in and taught me about the Bible. And that’s how I accepted the Lord Jesus into my heart.
If you liked my inspirational story, please share it with others. Remember, ask and you shall receive.