Lena Chen’s Christmas Card Signals Coming Apocalypse
Or Holiday Miracle, Depending
Six months ago, Sex and the Ivy’s Lena Chen and significant other Patrick Hamm (H’GS, Y’04) were embroiled in a scintillating S&M scandal. Now they’re just another monogamous yuppie couple photoshopping pictures of their dog into Christmas cards.
Kind of sweet, isn’t it? Soon they’ll be living in a big beige house in the suburbs with a parcel of precociously intelligent children who attend Waldorf schools and spend weekends figure skating in the ice rinks of Hell. Seriously, whodathunk Lena Chen would settle down before graduation? Note that the above slutty Santa ensemble is not the same one Lena wore last year.
from: Maureen
to: Lena Chen
subject: Re: Happy Holidays!How many slutty Santa outfit do you own??
from: Lena Chen
to: Maureen
subject: Re: Re: Happy Holidays!Three!!!
And there you have it: The world may be falling apart at its seams, the economy crashing, Larry Summers regaining his position as a moderately respectable member of the human race… But they can’t take away Christmas, nor Lena Chen dominating our blog every winter vacation, down to her nasties in highly flammable costume lingerie and/or cavorting naked. Mazel tov!
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Read more: christmas, hope, lena chen, sex and the ivy
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December 26th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
she looks almost kinda attractive in that pic.
December 27th, 2008 at 2:33 am
wtf, ivygate? is there really nothing better to post about? i’m officially unsubscribing from you guys – it’s sucked for the past year.
December 27th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
she’s looking pretty good these days.
December 27th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
lena i love you. don’t worry about those silly yalie haters, they’re just jealous that you stole their man :)
December 27th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
She clearly Photoshopped the size of her enormous noggin down.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:04 am
She’s a tool. He’s a user. And she’s way fatter in real life. I’d love to see the dog crap on her face, though (the one on the right, that is).
December 31st, 2008 at 5:43 pm
So does Lena Chen date asians/has she ever? If she does/has, I will save my vitriol-laden “self-hating asian” spiel for another day (and another year). If she doesn’t, well, what a tool she is.
December 31st, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Does Patrick Hamm look like a poor (educated) man’s Neil Patrick Harris?
January 15th, 2009 at 7:52 am
I’ve commented before on this phenomenon Lena Chen and I can’t believe she is still going strong. As far as her being attractive or not by the standards people have, that is a moot point. For college guys and most of the general population, straight or gay, I think the attractiveness of a woman goes up with the blood alcohol level plus willingness to have sex oral or vaginal or any other orificial kind. In that kind of a rating system, physical attractiveness becomes a very small part of the equation…
As far as Lena dating Asian guys or not, I think most Asian guys actually are kind of picky, in my younger and single days, even in my most drunken moments and loneliest nights I have rarely lowered my standards and this actually might explain why a lot of Asian guys don’t go out nearly as much as some of the other races.
I’m not saying that Lena would’nt attract some Asian guys, but we have different standards and frankly this actually keeps our stock higher.
If Lena lived in China, Hong Kong or Korea or Japan, I don’t think her sex life would have enough material to fill any blog. She would probably have to date women possibly… thats another niche that does’nt care too much about physical attraction.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Actually after I thought about what I said, I have to change my original premise. In Asia Lena would get action too, because there are plenty of guys that don’t have overly high standards in those countries too. But she would’nt get the quality she probably is getting in this country maybe. As far as women who love women having lower standards, that’s a crass misstatement. I don’t know too many lesbians but I have a feeling they can be picky too, but less so than gay men are about looks I think.
As far as Lena being a head case, I think she probably is just totally normal as a person can be these days and she just happens to tell the world what other people are feeling and thinking but holding it all in.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
lol, funny article.
These are funny too